Disclaimer: Don't own any of them, just the initial plot bunny. My muse couldn't help but run wild at the prospect of Nikki Boston having a daughter.

Enjoy.

What kind of mother, what kind of woman, walks out on her own daughter? Who does that?

Me, that's who. The great Nikki Boston. I walked out on them. On her. On Eve.

Eve.

I didn't choose the name. He did. I knew I had no right to, so I let him name her. I knew that he would be a great father to her, he'd be the father she deserved, the parent she needed. I was the mother she didn't. I was the woman who walked out on her.

There are days I can pretend it didn't happen, when I can convince myself that that woman seventeen years ago was someone else. In some ways, she is. I've changed so much since then. But in other ways, she's still me.

I didn't realise just how much until I saw her. Eve. She's got her father's eyes. Thank god. But in every other way she looks like I did back then, before I found out. She has that spark, the belief that you can be whatever you want to, that the world is your oyster. I had that. Before I made the decision. Before the numbness took over.

I didn't feel anything. What kind of mother doesn't feel happy as she hold her daughter for the first time? What kind of mother, what kind of woman, walks out on her daughter? Who would do that?

I still can't believe she's here. I wish I could hold her, cry with happiness, tell her that not a day's gone by where I haven't thought of her, the way I feel I should.

Even if she doesn't forgive me, I hope that she can come to terms with me, even if she breaks all contact and never wants to speak to me again. I hope she doesn't find out what a failure I am. I hope that she doesn't find out the truth. It's not self-preservation. She's created an image of me that I can never live up to, that I'll shatter if she finds out. I can't let that happen. She's created the perfect mother for herself.

I thought I'd done the right thing. For my daughter. For my Eve. Surely no mother is better than a mother who doesn't love you, isn't it?

Surely that's better for her than me?

Thanks for reading. :)