A/N: New One-shot! yay! I'm getting all my already written stuff out as fast as I can. So...I use names in here of "hockey players" on Derek's team, but I'm just throwing out random names. Um, I'm sorry to say this isn't much of a Dasey fic. I mean there are implications...but nothing really solid for reasons you'll see in the story. So enjoy...R&R! Thanks. -Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own LWD.
A Guy Like Me
There was an incredible double standard in the MacDonald-Venturi household. Derek was very aware of it. Casey exploited it. Nora and George were completely unaware of what was going on right under their noses.
If Derek was a minute past curfew there was an immediate fall out and he ended up grounded for a month. Casey had come home late for curfew every Friday and Saturday night for the last three weeks and her mother hadn't breathed a word against it. It was quite clear what they thought. Derek was the screw-up and Casey was perfection. If Derek was late, he must have been causing some kind of trouble. If Casey was late, well, she must have a very plausible, acceptable explanation. So why ask?
Derek knew better. He knew why Casey was out so late. He knew she had slowly worked her way through the hockey team. Accepting dates with guys she barely knew. Guys who had worse reputations than his. Not that Casey's innocent ears had ever heard of any of it.
At first Derek thought it was some cheap shot to piss him off. Like her relationship with Sam had been. But then, he realized it wasn't so much an attack ats it was self-destruction. She wasn't doing it to make him angry, she was just doing it to do it. No good could come of it either way.
Derek didn't like it at all. This wasn't the Casey he knew. He like the Casey he knew. He admired the Casey he knew. This girl was everything Casey shouldn't be. And that made Derek angry.
Derek couldn't quite figure out who he was angry with. No matter who it was, he didn't want Casey dating these guys. They were too much like him. And he certainly didn't want her dating a guy like him.
She was only going to get her heart broken. Derek was sure of that. If she kept going on the way she was, she was going to get hurt. Derek knew this because these guys were just like him, and all he did was hurt the girls he was with. He didn't like that he did, but he did anyway. That was just the kind of guy he was.
Derek wanted to put a stop to it all before it got out of control. But he also knew that with how stubborn Casey was, if he said anything about it, it would only prompt her to do it longer and more often. It would be just to spite him. For the first time in his life, Derek didn't have the answers to a situation involving a girl.
He could try not caring, but he cared too much. That was the main problem. Derek cared too much about Casey. If he didn't, he would let her learn her lesson and get on with his life. She'd get her heart broken and he wouldn't feel sympathy, regret or guilt. But that wasn't the case. He cared, and he hated himself for it.
Derek had decided that he had to do something about it. When she went out again the following weekend, he waited up for her. The rest of the family had gone to bed long before she returned. It wasn't until nearly an hour after curfew that she strolled in to the darkened house. Derek sat on the couch, but she couldn't see him in the dark. She walked right past the couch on her way toward the kitchen.
"Timothy Walters."
Casey gave a little start, "Derek?"
As Casey made for the lights, Derek responded. "That leaves two. Robby Duvall and me."
"What are you talking about Derek?" Casey snapped once she had the lights on and she could see which direction to glare in.
Derek continued on, standing so he was facing her. "It started out innocent enough. You'd go on short dates with the second string guys, and arrive home long before curfew. But then you made you way onto the starters. And the dates were getting longer and longer--curfew or no curfew. Just what do you do on these dates, Casey?"
"As if it's any of your business." Casey scowled.
"Well, I'm coming up on the list soon. I just wanted to know what to expect."
"You're disgusting." Casey spat.
"Am I really?" Derek mocked surprise. "And what you're doing isn't?"
"I'm not doing anything. I'm dating. No one has any kind of claim on me, so I'm harming no one." Casey explained. "Especially not you."
"You're hurting yourself. I'll give you that Sam was nice and some--just a couple--of the others were too. But most of these guys have worse reputations than me. What happened to the Casey who thought I treated girls like toys? Things I could toss away when ever I wanted?"
"I still think the way you treat girls is despicable." Casey responded.
"So answer me this: when did you become one of those girls?"
"What is this some kind of intervention? Poor little Casey has fallen off track, let's get her back on her feet. It's useless to even try. I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't have to stop."
"No, you're not doing anything wrong, Casey." Derek nodded calmly. "But these guys will break your heart and you don't deserve that."
"Like you even care." Casey scoffed.
"Do you think I would even be here if I didn't care? I've been wrestling with myself for so long about what to do to prevent you from getting hurt." Derek admitted. "I don't want you to get hurt. But if you won't listen to me, then I don't know what to do."
"Derek, you can't be serious. You don't think I can protect myself against these guys? They're just teenage boys, how much harm do you think they could do?" Casey questioned.
"I don't know Casey, how much harm could I do?" Derek countered. When Casey lowered her eyes and remained silent, he continuted. "Double it, triple it even and that's how much harm they could do to you. They would rip your heart apart if they could."
"What do you really expect to accomplish by telling me this?" Casey asked, looking expectant.
"I don't want you dating these kind of guys!" Derek burst out angrily.
"Why?"
"Because they're just like me. And I wouldn't want you dating a guy like me."
"Why does it matter? Maybe I want to."
"It matters because I hate the kind of person I am!" Derek finally exclaimed, then turned away from Casey. "I am very aware of the kind of person I am. I choose to be that way. And that's fine, but that doesn't mean I think you should be treated the way a guy like me could treat you."
"Derek..." Casey started.
He could feel her approaching him. "Just think about what I said, okay?"
"Okay." Casey said softly.
Derek started to walk away but Casey caught his arm and he stilled. He turned back around to face her and she dropped her hand. She looked like sh wanted to say something, but couldn't get it out right.
Finally she spoke, "You would never hurt me like that, would you?"
"I wish I could say 'I couldn't.' But that's not true. I could. I probably would." Derek answered and Casey frowned. "It's the farthest thing from what I want, but it would probably happen."
"Oh." Casey sighed. "I just thought."
"It's the kind of person I am, the kind of people those guys are. We're built to hurt the ones we get close to. If I could change, I would. But I don't think I could." Derek responded. "I don't want you to be hurt, by anyone, especially me."
Casey nodded, looking satisfied with his answer. "I guess that's all we have to say."
"Yeah I think so." Derek nodded. "Goodnight Casey."
"Goodnight Derek." Casey reciprocated as she turned to climb the stairs.
Derek watched her disappear up the stairs. Maybe he had missed an opportunity that she had openly offered him. BUt he didn't want her dating a guy like him, and that included him.