Final Fantasy VII (c) Square Enix

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Chocobo Head

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"Seriously, what is so funny?"

"Nothing, I promise you, it's nothing."

"Then why haven't you stopped giggling since we left Kalm?"

"Sorry. Bad case of the giggles, I guess."

"…Somehow I don't believe that."

"Oh, you're silly. Just a case of the giggles, I swear."

"Tch…wonder what could've caused it."

- - -

Being in a new town was always scary and exciting to me but Mom was there and that alone assured me that however long we'd stay, it was home. Every town we came to was really different but I really liked them and Mom was happy when I was happy with where we had ended up and all was good with us. All was good until Mom would wake me up in the middle of the night, voice tight with fear and told me to get up and be a good girl because it was time to leave again. No, no, no time to say good-bye to the acquaintances we made. Only time to bid a hasty thank you to the inn keeper who would a lot of times give Mom and I great big hugs with a hushed whisper of good luck and their blessings (whatever that meant).

We'd be off into the night like a puff of smoke and sometimes Mom would carry me to get further faster. I liked it when she did, even though it made her tired and I'd wiggle around so she'd put me down and take a breather for herself. Mom looked a lot older sometimes when she let herself; she was still really pretty - everyone thought so - but she looked tired an awful lot. Probably from all the running we did and the rest we never got. Sometimes we were in a really big hurry, almost running however far we had to with little to no breaks. Other time it'd be like strolling around in the park or like when she was teaching me how to walk for the first time.

I have an incredible memory, by the way.

This time though we got to our new home in little to no time and it was kind of scary, I have to admit. The gates up in front were old and dark and rusty and they weren't pretty like a lot of the others had been. The houses were old and ugly, like some of the houses from ghost stories my friends from my other homes would tell. This place wasn't bright at all and I didn't mean that from the lack of sunlight because it was still fairly dark - oh no -…it was just dark. Something about it looked so sad and dreary to me, even though I can't really comprehend what those words actually mean.

Yucky.

Yes, that's right.

This place was yucky and I didn't like it. But Mom was here with me, holding onto my hand, breath heavy and a bead of sweat trickling down her brow and I knew that this was home.

- - -

I guess I'm a pretty friendly little girl because the following morning when the sun was rising and I was up and about town ready to play, I had already received a pat on the head or two from some of the adults who were awake at the time. I liked to meet everyone in my new home when I arrived, mostly because there was that part of me that understood this togetherness was going to end and I'd never really get a proper chance to say good-bye. Never able to say good-bye, so why not give out a definite 'Hello' instead. Mom always taught me the importance of leaving a positive impact on people and I liked to think that maybe a little kid like me might make some difference to somebody I'd run into, even if for a short while and then they wouldn't remember my face or the sound of my voice. They'd just remember a sunny hello and that'd be good enough for me in the long run.

There was a well in the middle of the town. An old looking sort of thing and I wanted to climb it, so I did. From the tip top I could see all of the houses and it was a little present to myself. A little tour of my new home, for now. The mountain air was chill and sent a wave of cold down my back but it felt good to breathe.

Even now at this age I recognized the delicate balance of everything around me. Sometimes I even felt like I could hear the wind whisper at me and when I'd tell Mom, she's smooth my hair back and smile at me with this funny look in her eyes and tell me what a good girl I was and how much she loved me. I asked her once if she ever heard it too, if everybody did? She shook her head and pointed up into the big blue sky and told me that it was just us now on this planet. We were fortunate enough to hear the wind whisper back and feel the air wrap us up in its loving embrace. The planet was ours and because we could hear it, we had the responsibility of taking care of it until we could go home with everyone else and take care of it together.

That always confused me but like any parent, she assured me I'd understand when I was older.

The kids from town started pouring out of their homes like they were set on a timer and they ran all over the place, laughing and getting along. There were a lot of kids here in this town and it made me really happy. At least for the while I'd be here, I'd have lots of friends to play with and talk to. A bunch of them were huddled together and from my spot at the tip top of this old rickety well, I could see a girl in a blue dress among them and saw that it was her they were crowding around. This was a new kind of thing to me; I'd never been in a town where everyone seem so fixated on a single person. I climbed down to see what all the commotion was about and introduced to myself to them.

They seemed to like me well enough, all of them, even though the girl in blue kept giving me the strangest looks but I didn't pay her any mind because now we were all friends and it was time to play together. Suggestions were thrown up in the air until we decided to play tag and it was in partners. An uproar sprang up when everyone was fighting over the girl in blue and who would get to be her partner. She must be really good at the game if everyone was fighting so much to have her on their team. I kind of wanted to be on her team so it could be us girls versus the boys (there were only boys with us, I noticed) but it looked like she didn't trust me all too much ,so I shrugged and looked for someone else to be a team with.

Looking around, I saw a shadow and was surprised to see a blue eyed, blond haired kid peeking out from the corner of what I'm guessing was his house. He looked really shy and kind of lonesome, so I waved over to him and urged him to come on, play with us and he only stood frozen like he was petrified and his eyes got all big and bug eyed. Why he wasn't with us to begin with I didn't know but he was one of the kids in this town and as soon as we introduced ourselves to one another, we'd be friends. But nobody seemed to pay any attention to me when I pointed him out. They were acting like he wasn't there.

Mom always told me that everyone was important, no matter how big or small. In their own way they were important and always deserved to be loved. This kid was a prime example of that lesson, I figured and knowing he was important, I ran over to him. He shrank away as I got close, further and further backing up into the little crevasse between his house and the one next to it. I crept up closer and closer until I was able to poke my head in and look at him. He was backed up into the wall, looking at his shoes; he wasn't able to look up at me when I talked to him.

He was a funny looking boy, I noticed, nothing at all like the others. He was scrawny looking, kind of like a bag bones with nothing much on them and his clothes mostly hung lifelessly on his frame. He was really pale, like he'd never been out in the sun before and his knees were shaking when I waved my hand in his face to get his attention. For a split second he looked up at me and I caught sight of a pair of really blue eyes. Bluer than the sky out in the open fields. Bluer than after it stopped raining and the clouds parted to give way to the sky. He finally gathered the courage to raise his head and looked right at me, his face so unsure and shy. I had to smile; not because Mom always said it was the best pick me up a sad person could get.

No.

He kind of made me smile just all on my own.

He shook his head and shrugged when I asked him if he'd be my tag partner. I asked again and got the same response. I huffed and leaned forward to him, looking right into those big blue eyes and asked again. He looked kind of scared but eagerly nodded. Satisfied, I took his hand and pulled him out of the dark and into the light outside. He was dragging his feet as we approached the group and once we arrived, everything was normal and fun and happy.

But somebody turned around and looked at him and yelped, asking what he was doing here with us. Suddenly everybody turned around and gave him such hateful looks that I was shocked to know people could be so mean. Everyone started yelling at him, suddenly covering the girl dressed in blue, saying he was a weirdo and a loser and he couldn't play with them, much less her. My blue eyed friend looked down at the ground and was shaking again; still holding onto my hand, I felt his grip get tighter and tighter until it was hurting me and I yelped.

Everything kind of happened too fast. All I could notice was being forcefully pulled away and suddenly I couldn't feel his hand anymore. Hands were holding onto me and I saw him away from us, standing alone, shoulders slumped over and his eyes hidden in the shadows under his hair. These kids, my friends, were telling him to get lost and he didn't wait to hear anymore before he took off. They laughed and got ready to play tag. One of them took my hand and proclaimed me his partner. After witnessing that, I huffed at the boy and the rest of them. The girl in blue gave me an odd look, a mixture of confusion and dislike. These kids were so mean to him and I couldn't bear it so I left to look for him. I heard them calling me names and hollering at me but I didn't care.

Everybody mattered and everyone deserved to be loved, even if they were shy and scrawny.

- - -

I found him sitting on the farthest side of the well, knees brought up to his chest, face buried in them. He looked so lonely and it was making me sad just looking at him.

I didn't like it when I was sad and I liked it even less when others around me were sad too. I coughed and got him to look down at me. Looking at him made me heart heavy and I didn't really know why. It was a kind of grown up feeling, I supposed, because the sadness in his face was so strong, I could feel it bearing down on me. His blue, blue eyes were really sad and his face was so red, like maybe it was permanent blush or like someone hit him really hard and the mark was still there. I didn't like seeing him that way; I really didn't. So I climbed up the well and sat beside him and he put his head down back into his knees and I kicked my feet back and fourth, talking and talking until he'd forget about what happened.

He lifted his head slowly and turned to look at me. Again he made me smile; he looked so confused! I could tell what he was thinking and it made me laugh out loud. His expression was so lost. Maybe I was crazy to him or something but he didn't look so sad anymore and it made me happy.

It was then that I really looked at his hair. For the first time, I began to notice it. His hair was a rich golden color, like the flowers I'd seen along the way sometimes when Mom and I would travel, or maybe like the sun when it was getting up from bed. The wild spikes, though, were everywhere. They were pointy and jagged. His hair looked messy but it suited him, his big blue eyes and shy demeanor. Instantly I knew what his hair reminded me of and happy, I clapped and laughed and kicked my heels together, much to his bewilderment. I reached out and petted his hair and his face flushed heavy as he asked what I was doing. I laughed and ran my hand through the golden locks and saw how he shuddered. I giggled even more before I paused for a moment and told him.

He reminded me of a chocobo. The big, cute birds that grown ups rode around on sometimes. They had big, spiky gold hair on their heads too and a lot of times they could be really shy, if they weren't too crazy to begin with. He kind of frowned but I couldn't help but smile and continue to rake my hand through his hair. At first he protested but after a while, he didn't seem to mind it.

This boy. He never did tell me his name but I started calling him Chocobo Head, affectionately of course. I asked him if he minded the nickname and he said he didn't. So to me, he was Chocobo Head and he was my best friend here at home in the foggy mountains.

- - -

All the other kids thought I was crazy and they didn't talk to me anymore but that was okay because Chocobo Head and I had enough fun for a whole big group of kids. Everyday I was there, I'd wake up extra early in the morning to say hi to all the grown ups before going over to Chocobo Head's house and asking his mommy if he could come out to play with me. And every morning, his mommy would laugh and pat my head, call out to him and he'd come running, giving me a great big hug each and every time. Sometimes he'd knock the wind right out of my lungs but I loved hugs and I'd hug him back just as strong, until my arms hurt and I thought I'd give him a bruise.

We'd play tag, just Chocobo Head and I, or we'd play knight and princess, where I'd go hide somewhere up high and call out for him and he'd come rescue me.

Sometimes I never called out at all and he'd still find me. Even in the darkest corners of the city, he'd find me hidden there, offer me his hand and I'd take it. Each and every time his hand was warm. Each and every time I felt a big burst of butterflies in my tummy and I wondered if he did too.

Other times we'd go exploring up the trail to the mountains but we never got too far up. We were scared after all and he'd be my hero and go ahead of me and hide me from the creepy crawlies or the monsters. Chocobo Head was undoubtedly the best friend I had made on my travels with Mom and I knew that all that running was worth it if it brought me here to him. That was how I liked it; just me and Chocobo Head. He was growing fond of that nickname, it seemed and it suited him. All the chocobos I had seen had gold, golden hair and were shy to the touch; they were full of life once they opened up to you and so was he. Why the other kids didn't like him or want to play with him, I could never really understand. We had the most fun together; it was clearly their loss if they didn't want him to join in their games.

One afternoon it was just me and Chocobo Head sitting on a bench by the inn when he told me I was his best friend. Knowing I'd made someone so happy made me happy and I thanked him for it; told him he was my best friend too and it was the truth. He was kind of quiet for a bit and I noticed for all the fun we had, he didn't really smile much, if at all. I took him by the hand and we were off, gone passed the old rickety gates of the town and far off into the fields. I went ahead and he stood amongst the tall grass, looking kind of lost and confused. I came back with a handful of flowers and together we made crowns. He complained about it, telling me this was way too girly but I huffed and puffed until he didn't fuss about it anymore.

When we were done, I took my finished crown and put it on his head. Chocobo Head groaned about it for a bit, his face turning really red but I clapped and laughed and I was happy with how he looked with it. He took his finished crown (the flowers were kind of crinkled and all but he's a boy and boys aren't very good at things like girls are sometimes) and gently placed it on my head.

There he was again, looking all bashful and kind of self conscious but I stood up and smiled at him and twirled around and modeled his crown like it was the most beautiful thing that had ever existed. Going on and on about how I felt just like a princess in this crown, I could feel my face heat up in excitement. He sat there in the grass, staring at me as if I had gone crazy and I'll admit, I was a little embarrassed about it. But he sat there still staring at me until finally…he smiled.

His face broke out into a sunny grin and suddenly I stopped spinning and stared down at him. But he kept smiling at me and then I knew for certain that all the running Mom and I had done was worth it. If it brought me here, I would do it again just to see him smile at me that way.

I knew then that I'd be at peace when the time to leave would come.

- - -

As we got back into town, crowns in our hands, all the kids stared and glared at the two of us. Chocobo Head didn't seem to care. He just looked at me; he didn't smile but there was something convincing in his eyes that I couldn't place. Maybe it was another grown up feeling that I couldn't figure out. But together, we were happy and we didn't need anybody else to play with to have fun.

We walked back to his house. The sun was setting and something in the way the sky looked at that moment told me that I had spent my last day in my new home. In a way I was glad it was ending the way it was; having seen that single smile from him gave me a sense of peace that I'd never known before. Never before was I so apprehensive about leaving; I wasn't sure if I could leave him here alone. Who knows what would happen to him once I was gone. But for the moment now, he appeared happy, even though he wasn't smiling. He opened the door to his home slightly and stared at me for a moment before he reached out and gave me what was probably the biggest hug he had given me in the short time I had been here. He didn't say anything and neither did I and it was probably best that way. He went inside and I knew it'd be the last time I'd see him ever again.

- - -

Mom woke me up in the middle of the night, as always, albeit more gently than she had before. The usual happened. We dressed, took what we brought with us, said good-bye to the inn keeper and crept quietly out. I stopped, looking at the crowns I carried in my hand. Chocobo Head had me keep his, for safe keeping of course. I couldn't bear to carry them both with me. I let go of my mother's hand and ran to his doorstep, kissing his crown gently before setting it down carefully and looking up into the window.

For the first time, I was truly saddened to leave my home. For the first time, I felt like crying as I turned around and left it all behind again and I knew it was because of my friendship with Chocobo Head that it was making it so hard for me to leave. As I returned to Mom, she looked at me for a moment and kissed my head, as if she knew what I was feeling. Mom was like that; she always understood the unspoken.

We passed the rickety old gate of the town and I wondered if Mom knew just how much I would miss my friend. I'd never get to run my hand through that golden hair of his; I'd never get to see him shudder again, or blush heavily as he always did. Our games were over now and every conversation we had was gone like a taper in the wind. It made me pretty sad, actually.

It was then that I realized I had never even given him my name. For all the times we spent together, he never once asked and I never thought to give it to him. I called him Chocobo Head and that's who he was; I didn't know his name and he didn't know mine. We were strangers but at the same time we were friends and this unsettling feeling crawled into my throat and suddenly, without caring, I shouted back into the town. I shouted my name over and over until Mom begged me to be quiet.

I don't think he ever heard me.

- - -

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Nothing. I just…barely noticed your hair, is all."

"Oh…hey, cut it out? It's kind of embarrassing."

"Aw…but I like your hair!"

"Thanks but…it's embarrassing."

"It's cute. Reminds me of a chocobo."

"…Seriously?"

"Yes! I think I'll call you Chocobo Head from now on."

"Heh…you wouldn't be the first one. …What is so funny?"

"Nothing…Chocobo Head!"

"H-Hey! Watch the hugs; you're gonna give me a bruise!"