Hello everyone! Christian Jaw here, with Crane Yank. This is our teeny inside peek (you know, like, when a hot girl flashes you) of our up and coming story of the Perfect Rosalyn, who is indeed Perfect.
Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with the creators / makers / fathers and/or mothers of Death Note.
This a parody! Don't hate, plis! ;D
PS. We actually don't write like this. If we did, I would have killed myself a long time ago.
Rosalyn was perfect.
No, scratch that. Beyond simply perfect: she was the most beautiful girl in all the worlds.
Her long, dark, perfect, rippling hair fell past her perfect, doll-like, porcelain face; her dark, fiery, piercing eyes were a delicious red, like the color of a ripe cherry, except perfect.
No one could resist her looks!
Any man would be consumed by the force of her beauty! There was absolutely no doubt about it. No doubt at all.
She stood at a perfect height for the average girl, the height at which made her perfect in every situation. She was slim, beautiful, breathtaking at every possible angle, even from the behind, for then you could admire the perfect shape of her perfectly sculpted buttocks, which was, in every sense, perfect. Even her fingernails were perfect: they always, always had some sort of special, unique design on them even without the paint!.
But alas, she wasn't only beautiful. She was kind. She had compassion. Her perfect eyes would glisten with tears at even the slightest sign of another's pain or discomfort. But even as those perfect drops moved down her glowing cheeks, leaving only the most delicate tracks, her eyes would gaze at the hurt person, and she would whisper comforting words that would make one know that they have seen perfection. Oh, the compassion in her eyes!
And ah, her voice! More splendid than a thousand tinkling wind-chimes, her voice was the harmony of the world. Her words made a melody, more charming than the heart and soul of the most skillful orchestras. When she sang, random passersby would stop and admire the musical notes emitting from her perfect vocal chords; the sound of a pure waterfall crashing perfectly and gracefully onto clear crystal!
But Rosalyn wasn't just perfect. She was in the Death God World. That's right. Death. God. World. MLIA.
And she was kneeling before the ever prestigious Death King.
But Rosalyn wasn't afraid. Oh, no, not at all. A girl like her would never be scared of anything. Rosalyn just trembled timidly, looking innocent with her huge eyes, fear emanating from her (now) sad, sad, small body in front of the Death King.
The Death King saw how beautiful she was. And how perfect Rosalyn was. And he said quietly, "What did you do, bring a human here, Ryuk! That has never, EVER, happened before." But it happened now. Because, you know, Rosalyn was perfect.
But Rosalyn, sensing the danger Ryuk had in store for her, started weeping. And her sapphire eyes (her perfect eyes flash different shades of color perfectly at the perfect times) were so sad and so innocent that the Death King's heart melted just the tiniest bit (despite the fact that the Death King doesn't even have a heart ), and he decided to spare her life because she was so beautiful and perfect. Rosalyn, being the perfect, beautiful, gorgeous, heart-wrenching tragic girl she was, made him realize that he did have a heart, somewhere deep down in his apple-filled belly.
And to apologize for his rash behavior, the Death King decided to grant Rosalyn not one, not two, but SIX Death Notes! That's right kids, SIX Death Notes on this exclusive TV offer! And when you call in the next five minutes, you'll get another one FREE! But wait! There's more! If you're perfect and beautiful like Rosalyn, you'll get all six at no cost at all. NO COST AT ALL. But Rosalyn is the sole human worthy of the definition of "perfect," so too bad. Sorry kids.
The Death King suddenly became very fond of Rosalyn, and wanted to woo her. Or something. But that doesn't really work considering that Death Gods don't uh, you know, mate. But Rosalyn was perfect.
She could do ANYTHING.
He thus granted her Shinigami eyes, which as all of you know, take away half your lifespan. But not for Rosalyn. Rosalyn got them for free.
Because she was perfect.
She could not be killed by a Death Note, for the Death King had hidden her name forever and ever. No one could kill her with a Death Note...
And the Death King even extended her life ten times so she would live a thousand years!
A thousand years.
And she would never age, and thus her beauty would be frozen forever. Or as near as forever as it gets.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, great Death King!" cried Rosalyn, her now rose-colored eyes welling up with tears of gratitude. And all the Shinigami in the Death God World stopped what they were doing—gambling or whatnot—and instead listened to her beautiful and melodious and perfect voice.
And from that moment on, all the Shinigami knew, like the Death God, that they had a heart, somewhere deep down, and that Rosalyn was indeed the most perfect human they would ever meet.
Thank you for reading. You may tear out your eyes now.
Reviews are welcome ;D