11 months. That's how long it's been since she's seen him. It wouldn't seem so bad had they actually been talking during that time. She laid in her hospital bed, replaying the last words they spoke to each other. Screamed at each other. He couldn't see her like this. She was a shell of a person, tightly gripping onto her blanket as if even a slip lower would display all of her newly broken soul. His voice echoed in the hallway, fighting for entrance to the room. He didn't understand.

"Sir, she doesn't want any visitors."

"She'll want to see me."

"She specifically asked us to keep you out. I'm going to have to ask you to leave, or I'm calling security."

She could feel his heart breaking by those words, hers was doing the same. He was the one person she knew would bring her through this, but she wasn't ready just yet. He couldn't know, he would go insane. The guilt that would wash over him would cloud everything she already forgave him for.

More hours passed, more time of her staring at the wall, pretending to rest. The door opened slowly, and she sighed heavily. It was just about time for them to come give her more medication and ask how she's doing. She never had an answer. She hadn't spoken words to anyone since she made her no visitors rule. That was the most important to her, because she knew it was only a matter of time before he arrived.

She turned at the silence that following the door creaking open, and her breath caught in her throat. There he stood, breaking every rule set before him. She should have known that even her rule couldn't keep him away from her.

"Scully..." It was a whisper that barely escaped his lips. He took in the sight of her that he could see through the small light by the bed. The bruises that covered her face was all he could see, but he knew there was so much more. The pain in her eyes was all he needed to see to know she suffered a great deal. The guilt began to wash over him, he wasn't here to protect her.

"God Scully, what happened."

She didn't respond, she just stared past him. He knew this was worse than he originally thought. He slowly crept towards her, reaching for her hand. His psychology degree was really getting its money worth right now. As soon as his hand touched hers, she retracted as if she'd been burned by his touch. She began to take shallow breaths, a look of panic taking over her face as she clutched the blanket to her tighter. He closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't need to read the report to know what happened to her.

"I'm so sorry, this is my fault. I don't have much time before they come in here, but I needed to see you. I'm not going anywhere." He said quickly as her monitors began to beep. He snuck out of the room and managed to escape just before the nurses came rushing in.

They sedated her, giving her a cocktail of antidepressants and things he couldn't pronounce. After a while longer of watching from down the hall, he snuck back into her room. He just needed to see her, have that closeness again. She was asleep, finally, but he knew she was never truly resting. He didn't want to alarm her again, but she was so far drugged he knew she couldn't even sense him there.

He situated himself in the chair beside her bed, making feather soft strokes on her hand with his thumb. She didn't stir, so he grasped her tiny fingers in his hands, and brought them to his lips, kissing them. His tears began to mix with his gentle embraces, and a whispered sob escaped his lips. He reached up to stroke her hair, missing her touch, her scent. He leaned forward and placed the smallest of kisses on her temple, inhaling her.

"I'm so sorry." He sobbed into her hair. He exited the room, knowing he didn't have much time before rounds again.

She woke with a slight smile on her face. Her dreams were so vivid, almost as if she could feel Mulder by her side, touching her. It was the first time that thought didn't alarm her. She felt safe under his touch, comforted. It wasn't real, she only dreamed his presence the day before. Why would he be here, after all this time? She let out a heavy sigh, the nurse coming in to administer the next round of drugs.

"How are we doing this morning?" The nurse attempted in a cheerful tone. There was never a response, but she kept trying.

"There's been a few visitors here for you, I know you said no, but it might be good for you." Scully looked at her with the ever famous eyebrow arch, as if she was warning her to dare to continue.

"I think your mom's been here with your brother, your fiancé, and another man who does not like the word no."

Scully sat up a little straighter, it wasn't a dream. He was here. The nurse noticed her perk up at the mention of him, it was the first ounce of response they had gotten since she was brought in.

"Mulder." It was in the tiniest voice, barely audible to even herself. It sounded more like a mumble than anything, but the nurse didn't mistake the sound that escaped her lips.

"He was the one you specifically said not to let in. Do you want us to amend that?" She asked cautiously. Whoever he was, he was getting the most response out of her than they had seen in days.

Scully gave the slightest of a nods. She wasn't ready to see him, or anyone, but she knew she needed to do this. "All of them." It was a simple statement, but the nurse understood that she was allowing visitors now. She nodded and left the room, Maggie Scully was waiting just outside, hoping for a change.

"Dana, my god." Maggie went to reach for her daughter's hand, Scully shaking her head and making fists of her blanket. Maggie nodded in understanding, maintaining a close enough distance to her daughter that was comfortable for them both.

"Bill was here earlier this week, he had to head home though. He will try to come back sometime soon. Ryan has been here, but he's at work right now. He told me to call him if anything changed. I can call him soon." Maggie was rambling, but if she didn't talk, they would sit in an awkward silence. "Fox is here, somewhere. I saw him, but I don't think he knows that."

Scully's attention turned from staring at the wall to her mom, her eyes brightening just slightly. Maggie knew these two weren't going to be kept apart, no matter the issue. She knew little about their dwindling relationship, but knew a few months wasn't enough to break whatever they had before.

"Would you like me to find him for you?" She asked cautiously.

"He'll be back." Scully whispered with the slightest of smiles. Her voice was hoarse from not talking for almost a week. Maggie jumped at the sound, thinking she may never get anything out of her.

"How are you feeling, dear?" She took her chance to keep her talking.

"I'm fine."

"Would you like me to call Ryan?"

"No. Not yet."

Maggie nodded. She liked Ryan, he had a stable job and lived a simple life. She thought he would be good for Dana, but there was never that spark in her eye when she talked about him. It's almost as if she just fell into a life that she thought she was supposed to be living. They were newly engaged, one more excited about that fact than the other. With Mulder back, Ryan didn't stand a chance.

"I'm going to step out for a bit, and call Bill. I'm glad you're okay." Maggie went to pat her daughter's hand, but thought against it. She smiled at her and exited, leaving Scully alone with her thoughts again. It was a scary place to be.

After the nurses brought her dinner and came back to clear her tray, she knew she wouldn't be bothered again for at least another few hours. That's why the sound of the door opening could only mean one thing.

"You're back."

"You're...talking."

"Mmm."

"Well, maybe." He teased. She gave him a slight smile. This small talk was weird for them, and he didn't know how to approach it. He managed to get his hands on the report before coming back. He didn't even know how to handle this from a professional standpoint. One look into his eyes, and she knew that he found out.

"You know."

"Only what I read in the reports."

They caught each other's gaze, he knew so much more. Having that silent conversation with their eyes that they had perfected. He knew so much more.

"Okay." One word, and he felt special. She was giving him permission to enter this with her. Together, they would get through this. It was all the validation he's ever needed in life. To be the person there for her, her anchor.

He took a seat next to her bed, both of them sitting in silence as they turned their attention to the mindless sounds of the small television. Just before visiting hours were over, the door swung open and in walked a relatively good looking man. Mulder was instantly confused, and could sense there was something he didn't know by the hopeful look in this man's eyes.

"Dana, your mother called and said you were finally up for visitors. I'm so glad your'e okay." He said in a rushed voice. He glanced at Mulder sitting protectively beside her. Both of the men had a million questions. "I'm sorry, can you give us a minute?" Ryan was annoyed, that much apparent by the tone of voice.

"Uh, sure." Mulder said it as more of a question, looking at Scully for an answer. She met his eyes and nodded that it was okay, she would explain later. He cleared his throat and stood, his questions would have to wait for another day.

It only took him the time to step out of the room before he heard her yell 'no' in a fearful cry. He ran back in the room, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Dana, it's me. It's Ryan. Calm down, sweetie." He reached out to stroke her hair and she practically jumped out of her skin. She began to shake her head frantically, clutching the blanket to her chest.

"Scully, it's okay." Mulder said as he stepped to the other side of her bed. She immediately released one hand to reach for his. He grasped onto it instantly, assuring her she was safe.

She felt guilty that Ryan had to witness this, he just wouldn't understand. Only Mulder knew enough about what happened to her, that no explanation was needed. He leaned down to whisper reassuring sentiments in her ear, her breathing slowing and settling. Ryan had more questions, that much everyone in the room could tell.

"I'm uh, Fox Mulder. I was her partner, back in DC."

"I've heard the name." Ryan said curtly. His jaw was clenched, he knew exactly who this man was, and that fact was unsettling to him.

"I think she's still freaked out, it's going to take some time."

"Is that your professional opinion? You're a psychologist right? Oxford, if memory serves correctly." Ryan said, annoyance rising. Scully winced slightly, she knew this wasn't fair to him. She talked about Mulder enough, but now he was here, and the only person she would allow near her.

"Uh, yeah. But I'm just speaking on personal experience I guess. This one's pretty tough, it'll just take time." He said lightly, nudging her arm. She gave him a small smile, memories flushing through her. Ryan had never felt more outside of her life than he did now.

"I think I got it, I can take over from here." Scully's grip tightened on Mulder's hand, signaling she wasn't ready to be alone with anyone just yet.

"I think visiting hours are just about up anyway. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise." Mulder said as he squeezed her hand. She smiled and nodded at him, seeing Ryan exit shortly after him.

She was alone again, which she currently preferred. The only person she wished was here with her was Mulder. They hadn't spoken in almost a year, but he was still the closest most important person in her life. She had a lot of thinking to do, in regards to her life, her career following this. The only reason she agreed to go undercover for this case, was because she was bored in her mundane lifestyle that she adapted to after moving here. Salt Lake City was never anything she wanted, and when she approached Mulder about it, it was more so to see if he would stop her. Tell her that he couldn't live without her. That wasn't exactly what happened.

There was a lot of yelling, arguing about where her priorities lied. To be fair, he did just cross continents to save her life, but she still wanted more from him. She was a little high-maintenance, now that she thought about it. Truth was, she missed him, more and more every day. She thought about running right back to DC, straight into his arms, but she didn't know that she would be welcome. Now she knew that he was only angry out of fear.

The doctor discharged her from the hospital, giving her strict orders for bedrest for at least another week, and consistent therapy sessions before he would clear her for work duty again. She wasn't happy with those arrangements, but knew they were in her best interest.

It was an awkward pickup, given that both Ryan and Mulder were waiting for her. She wasn't ready to be alone with Ryan, even if he was her fiancé, so she agreed to stay with her mother. She felt a little safer there. Maggie had moved to Salt Lake City after Dana talked about moving back. She didn't want her to come back to the difficult life she led there, so she moved to be near her daughter.

"Dana, are you sure you don't want me to stay here with you? I know you feel more comfortable here, but I really would feel better if I was with you." Ryan pleaded. He had been begging all week to be with her, and she refused every time.

"I'll be fine here. I just need more time." Her sentences were getting longer, communication increasing.

Mulder hung to the side, not wanting to intrude on such a delicate time, but wanting her to know that he was there for her. She appreciated it, and he knew that. Ryan finally left, Mulder waiting in the kitchen for him to depart.

"I think I'm going to head out, too. I'm going to book a hotel nearby for a few more days, but I'll be here for as long as you need me."

"You could stay here." She said in the tiniest of voices. Maggie pretended to be busy cleaning up the table, listening in to their conversation.

"I don't want to intrude, especially if you're not ready." He gestured towards the door that Ryan just walked out of.

"No, it's okay. I think - I would feel better, if you stayed."

"Okay, I'll stay."

There was never a question, he would do whatever she asked of him. He felt like he owed her everything, and wouldn't stop until that's what she got. It was a tricky situation, with another man involved. He still didn't know the story there, but he knew she wasn't ready for that yet either.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah...?"

"Thank you. For being here." She said with a slight smile before making her way upstairs to bed. There was a contentment on her face that no one had seen since she was rushed to the hospital.

Everyone had questions, but they would all have to wait. Dana Scully didn't do anything until she was good and ready. If they pressured her, she would either clam up or shut them all out completely. They couldn't afford either option, so everyone walked around her on eggshells.

It was going to take time, but he had all the time in the world for her.