Finding One's way
These gems belong too You Higuri…but I love them.
This is for Astraplain, I hope you like it!
Florian and Ray have been back for three months but their relationship has changed subtlety.
Florian lies back on his bed playing with the oversize diamond in his hand when he hears a soft knock at his bedroom door. He sits up and slides the stone inside his nightstand and calls for them to enter.
Noir enters the room with a smile on his face as he looks in the blonde's direction. He walks in and sits in the chair next to his bed.
"Laila told me that you didn't finish all of your dinner Florian? Are you not feeling well? Do I need to get the doctor back here?"
Florian looks at him with a half smile and says, "Contrary to what you believe Noir, I do sometimes not eat all of my dinner. You shouldn't worry about me as if I was Noel or something. I am an adult; I can take care of myself after all."
He drops his head down because he didn't want him to see how happy he was that he had come to his room to check on him.
Noir looks at the fair headed man and takes a puff on his cigar before continuing. "I know that you can take care of yourself Florian…it's just that when you do something out of character I worry."
Florian looks up at his benefactor, searching for his true feelings. He couldn't find any hint of guile behind his look, only concern in his sea green eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too worry you. I'll finish my dinner from now on, I promise. I just wasn't that hungry I guess."
He puts his head back and sighs deeply. Noir gets up and crosses to the bed and sits next to him. He puts his arm around his shoulder and says, "What is it Florian, you can tell me what's bothering you. I'll help in any way I can, you should know that."
He drops his head down on the younger man's chest causing Noir to put both arms around him and hold him closer. As he strokes Florian's back he puts his hand up clutching Noir's shirt in his fist.
"I don't know where I fit in here. Everyone has a place in your household but me and I feel like I'm just in the way. I have no special skills and I'm not as clever as some of the others here so why are you concern about someone as useless as I am? I feel so inadequate compared to the others."
Noir tilts his chin up and looks down in Florian's face and says, "Is that what's bothering you?" You want to contribute to the household? You want to feel needed around here?"
Florian looks up in his eyes and closes his own saying, "I know it's a small thing to you but we all need to feel like we are wanted and needed Noir."
He looks down and drinks in Florian's beauty wanting to tell the older man that he is the most important person in his life and if anything were to happen to him, he wouldn't want to live this singular life. But instead he says something different because he didn't think Florian could handle his true feelings right now. It was too soon and he didn't want to frighten him.
"If you want some sort of responsibility I could use an assistant to help with my correspondence, do you think you would like that, to be my assistant from now on?"
He smiles up at Noir and says, "Yes, I think I would like that very much Noir. Thank you."
Noir kisses him on the forehead and gets up. He touches the side of Florian's face gently and says good night. "I'll be expecting you at nine o'clock tomorrow morning, okay?"
Amethyst gazes up into emerald and smiles saying, "I won't be late, I promise."
Noir gives him one last smile before leaving out the same way he came in, very quietly.
Florian knocks softly at Noir's study door before opening it. He sees that he is talking to Laila so he stands by the door waiting for him to finish. He is very excited about starting the new job, he can hardly contain himself.
Noir looks up as Florian enters and smiles at him and this is not lost on Laila as she looks back at the blonde aristocrat. She wonders what he is doing in Noir's study this early. She turns back too Noir and says, "You want me to find something for him to do?"
Noir lights one of his trade mark cigars and says, "Never mind I have something more important for him to attend to. That will be all Laila and I don't want to be disturbed for the next hour."
He looks over at Florian and beckons for him to come closer as Laila heads out the door looking over her shoulder at the two of them.
"Have a seat Florian, I want to tell you what you're duties are. I hope you can handle them." He gives him a smirk as if he expected Florian to bolt out of the room.
He sits back looking at Noir waiting for him to tell him what it is he expects when the door burst open.
"What the hell! Why is that brat in my study, Florian?"
Noel comes running to Florian crying and Laila is in hot pursuit behind him. Florian scoops the boy up into his arms and says, "What is it Noel? What has happen?" He cuddles the boy to him as he cries holding on to the blonde man.
Laila stops abruptly and looks from Noir to Florian and says, "His tutor didn't come in today and I told him that he couldn't play with Florian because he was busy with you, then he ran off screaming."
Florian is rocking the child trying to get him to clam down as Noir sits back down in his chair.
He glares at Laila and says, "You can't take care of one little brat for an hour or so! You know he is not to run around my house like that!
Florian, take him somewhere else and get him to quite down before I throw him out of here! It's too early for all that racket! Get him out of here!
He throws his head back and puts the back of his hand over his eyes. Laila is chuckling under her breath because it broke up the meeting that two of them were having.
She likes Florian well enough but she didn't like the attention that Noir paid him, thinking that he was just a spoiled pet with no practical use.
Florian looks over his shoulder at Noir and says, "I'm sorry about this Noir, I'll take care of him right away and I'll be back." He smiles at Noir warmly and Noir couldn't help the smile that crept on his face also defusing his anger in an instant.
"Well make it quick, I don't have all day and I want you to get started right away. He turns away and picks up a letter on his desk dismissing everyone from his study with this gesture.
Laila is fuming she wonders when did they get so close that Florian could stop Noir's rants with a smile, as if they were the only ones in the room.
Noir sits back in his chair watching as Florian leaves out with the crying child and wonders how he let him talk him into keeping that brat in the first place. He tries to take up all of Florian's time and he is always in constant need of attention.
Florian may look like his mother but he belonged to him damint! He has to think of some way of separating the boy from Florian at least until he can convey his true feelings to the older man.
Having him work with him is a good start right now. He closes his eyes imagining the two of them along for hours in his study something has to come of it with them working so close together.
The only problem is that Florian acts so dense sometimes that it's hard to know what he's really thinking. He should know by now how he feels about him.
Who else would go through all the trouble that he has gone through for him? When he had gone missing and lost his memory he thought he was dead. He doesn't remember feeling pain like that ever before. When his mother died it was a different sort of feeling but with the lost of Florian it was like a hammering in his soul trying to drown out his screams of agony.
Yes, Florian meant the world to him and he would protect him with his life. He knew that if he lost Florian life wouldn't be worth living.
Noir sits back in his chair and lights another cigar off the butt of the one he is smoking and closes his eyes waiting on Florian's return.
Florian takes Noel to the playroom that Noir has had furnished for him and sits him down on his lap in the rocker.
"Now tell me Noel what has you so upset, mon amour. (1) You shouldn't cry so much to get your way. You know that Ray is easily upset when you do that and you promised me you wouldn't act this way."
Noel buries his face in Florian's waist coat and sniffles, trying to control himself. He looks up at Florian with one eye open and says, "When Mademoiselle Colette didn't come I was looking for you and Laila said you were in trouble because you were in Ray's study. Are you in trouble Florian, did he yell at you again?"
Florian laughs and assures the boy that Ray was not yelling at him and he had some special work for him to do.
"What type of work?" He looks up in Florian's face with a puzzled look on his face.
He kisses the top of Noel's head and says, "Well before he could tell me my new duties you came screaming through the door so I really don't know yet. However I do know I'll be his assistant which means helping him with his business transactions I guess."
He looks down at the child and wipes his face with his handkerchief and says, "But you know Noel you can't come bursting into his study like that because it's shows a lack of manners and we don't want anyone to think you don't have manners do we?"
Noel puts his head down and says in a very inaudible voice 'no'.
Florian sets the boy on his feet and straightens his clothes and says, "What do you think you should do, now that we have that settled?"
The boy ducks his head and looks up at the blonde man shyly and says, "Go get a cookie to make me feel better?"
Florian looks down at the boy with a frown and says, "Excuse me young man, what did you say?"
Noel looks down at his feet and says, "I mean go and apologize to Ray for running in his study without knocking."
Florian smiles down at the boy and smoothes back his hair saying, "Now that wasn't hard to figure out was it. When you do apologize you can go to the kitchen and ask cook for two cookies and a glass of milk but return to your playroom until lunch and then I will join you."
He looks up at Florian and takes his hand smiling as they make their way to Noir's study.
Florian knocks on the door and opens it.
"Noel has something he wants to say to you." He pushes the boy forward and he stumbles and looks back at Florian while Noir scowls at him.
He looks up at Noir with big blue eyes wide and says, "I'm sorry for not knocking and running in. I won't do it again Ray."
With that he makes a bee line for the door and slams it behind him.
"You call that an apology! The brat slams my door on the way out to boot! I ought to crack him with my whip one time. I bet that would teach him some manners and let him know who's in charge around here."
Florian folds his arms across his chest and glares at the younger man.
"Ah, come on…you know I'm just kidding…kind of."
"If you lay a hand on that child Noir, I will never forgive you! And don't ever think of hitting him with that whip of yours!"
Noir looks up at the ceiling and sighs, "I told you I was kidding…jeez lighten up will you. Now come over here so I can go over the things you need to know so you can be of some help to me."
Florian puts his arms down and walks behind Noir's desk and bends over to look at the papers he has in front of him. He is standing so close to Noir that he can breathe in Florian's scent and it is making his head spin.
He says, "Since you're good with figures I want you to keep an account of the transactions that I do with your fine upstanding peers that need my unsavory business to help them out. This way they can pretend they are living in the life to which they have become accustomed."
Florian looks down at some of the names and his eyes go wide. Noir looks at him and chuckles. "You didn't think your family was the only ones in debt did you. More than half the aristocracy is in debt to me and the other half to some one else."
He sits back as Florian picks up the ledger and studies it. He looks over at Noir and says, "With what they owe you they could have given you their precious jewels to get out of debt."
Noir looks up at him and says, "You really are naïve aren't you Florian?"
He looks over at the raven haired man with a frown on his face. "I don't see why you would say…
"I didn't mean it as an insult, quite the contrary. Remember when we first met, your mother was giving an extravagant ball and the next day she asked me for a loan and you ended up with me. She like all the others comes from a different world and time."
"Some people can't or won't change with the times so they hold on to what they know as with your mother, her duty to keep the Mughal Diamond safe surpasses her own need to survive and so she lost her life in protecting it."
"Now if it that was me I would have sold it so fast I would have forgotten I even own such a thing. Those who choose not to bend with their circumstances always break in the end."
"However I will never let something like that happen to you. I'll always protect Florian."
He looks up in Florian amethyst eyes with out wavering.
Florian stares at him not knowing what to say. He opens his mouth and then he thinks about the reason he is there in the first place and looks away saying, "I suppose you would look out for me since I owe you a debt I could never possibly pay."
Noir is out of his seat in a flash giving credence to why he is the allusive phantom thief Noir.
Florian jumps as Noir grabs his arm and puts his hand under his chin lifting his head up to look in thoses beautiful eyes.
"Is that what you really believe Florian? Do you think I've kept you with me because of some debt?"
Florian looks into dark green eyes trying to see if there is more in what he is saying. He closes his eyes from the intense look that Noir is giving him.
"Open your eyes and look at me Florian." Noir whispers as he says this and Florian opens his eyes slowly seeing for the first time that he is looking at him with something else in his eyes.
They stare at each other for a long moment then Noir release his chin and tell him that he should go into lunch.
He walks back behind his desk and Florian turns and heads for the door in confusion.
"Do you want me to come back after lunch Noir?"
Noir sighs and says, "It's up to you Florian…but I do want you with me."
Florian looks at him over his shoulder and smiles. "Then I'll be back."