To Be a Manly Man

Summary: In which Shunsui Kyoraku consults the Captains of Seireitei in an attempt to become manlier.

Rated: T to be safe.

Bleach does not belong to me…and I'm not sure whether I made Shunsui revoltingly out of character.

It was a beautiful, breezy day in Seireitei. Birds twittered cheerfully in the 8th Division gardens. The trees swayed in tune to the avian song. Spring was in full swing, and everything seemed to be rejoicing. Except for those in the 8th Division Offices.

"Nanao-chann…why won't you go out with me?"

"Because…because you're not manly enough…yes. Because you're not manly enough," Nanao said the first thing she came up with; her captain had been pestering her all day, since the sake shop was closed. "Taichou, you should go outside and go get some fresh air…ah, perhaps that will cure your lack of manliness." Nanao was desperate for peace and quiet, and was ready to stoop to new lows to get it.

"What? I've got plenty of man in me," Shunsui replied, shaking his head in disappointment at her taste, but obliged to her wish for him to experience the fresh spring air.

Shunsui sat his rear outside the door, trying to take in as much prescribed fresh air as possible. He whipped a mirror (with 5x magnification!) out of nowhere, and proceeded to examine his face, wondering if the fresh air had helped relieve his symptoms of un-manliness.

Alas, it appeared it had not.

Shunsui put the mirror away, and proceeded to think (an action some thought wasn't possible for him). Nanao-chan had said he was not manly. Therefore, he needed to be manly.

"Aha! Problem solved," the captain said, rising from the ground, but soon plopped down again. How would he become manly? "Nanao-chan had said it was near impossible, and I still have a long way to go..." He decided that he needed some help on the journey to manliness. He started making up a list in his mind of manly captains.

Shunsui immediately discounted Captain Yamamoto. He was so old, there was absolutely no doubt he had forgot how to be manly many a year ago. He was in the act of considering Soifon-taichou, but promptly remembered that Soifon was, in fact, not a man, and therefore could not possibly be manly. Womanly, perhaps.

It then struck him that the word 'womanly' was only two letters away from 'manly' and that surely only being two letters away was closer to being manly in his current state. Close enough, right?

Shunsui rose up on his feet, and shunpo'd towards the 2nd Division Offices.

"I'd like to see Soifon-taichou, please," he said pleasantly to the shinigami that was guarding the door.

"Our taichou's a bit busy, you know, Kyoraku-taichou. Something about top-secret business," the young guard replied seriously.

"Ah, my good man, er, shinigami, but, you see, I have top-secret business with her. My top-secret business tops her top-secret business…and that's not what I meant," he added hastily to the guard that had suddenly blanched, "just…just let me in, will you?"

"Ah…just let me consult Soifon-taichou," the guard said hurriedly, not wanting to hear more of Kyoraku's 'top-secret business.' A moment later, he reappeared, saying, "Right this way, Kyoraku-taichou."

--

As Shunsui entered the room, he heard a squeal of surprise, followed by a quick rustling and shuffling. "Ah…Soifon-taichou?" he said, slightly worried he was intruding. Not that he wasn't doing so already, but it could be worse.

"Yes, Kyoraku-taichou? Come in."

Shunsui did so, and looked around. There was a tuft of oddly familiar purple hair in a case on top of a table, and Shunsui could see a limp, black, furry tail sticking out of the drawer.

"Is that….?" He pointed to the drawer, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh…that's a gift…for my…nephew…plush cat…likes those things…" Soifon's explanation was barely coherent.

"Ah…I wasn't aware you had a nephew, but…" Shunsui did not quite understand, but he guessed it was a woman's sort of thing. "By the way, Soifon, I came across a term while…reading and I wanted to know your view of the word 'womanly.' What do you think makes up a womanly person?"

"Excellent question, my dear Kyoraku-taichou!" Soifon was instantly ablaze with eagerness, "Womanly…well, a womanly person needs…an air of…dignity! Yes, dignity! And they need to have an air of power, as well! They need to have adept skills! If you want an example, just take, for example, of course…Yoruichi-sama…" Soifon then went off on a tangent about all of Yoruichi's fine points.

Shunsui decided it was high time to stop intruding on Soifon's hospitality. Besides, he didn't want to land himself two letters from manliness. He would rather land right on the mark, impossible as it might be.

It was also high time to visit Jyuushirou for advice.

--

Reviews, please?

Hasn't been beta'd, so all corrections/suggestions will be appreicated.

Plot ideas will also be appreciated too.