Sam sat on the couch in her house wrapped in blanket nursing her now cold coffee. She wasn't coping well, and she knew it. Her team knew it, Pete knew it. He was the reason she could not sleep. Why did he have to be a hero? She asked her self. Sure they had saved the world but at what personal cost? Jack had been in stasis for weeks and they were no closer to releasing him. Sam had been working for 18 hours a day on average but was getting nowhere.
And now here she sat alone in the dark. Not wanting to talk to anyone. Pete had taken the hint very quickly that his company was not welcome when he had turned up the day before for a surprise visit, only to have her go back to the mountain an hour later. When Sam arrived home earlier that day he was gone, and she was glad. As horrible as she felt, she was glad. No matter how hard she tried, he was not him, he was not Jack.
Sam hit the play button on her CD remote, unsure what was in there but needed to drown out the voices in her head. His voice...
"....What I was going to say was."
"I know."
"Because I care about her, a lot more than I'm supposed to."
"I would never ask you to give up your career...I will always be there for you."
"Let me get this straight, engaged?"
She stifled a laugh at that one. For someone who was not that good at saying things he sure knew how to say the right things to her. All the memories stirred the regrets she had to do with him. What ifs plagued her mind as she imagined all the things she could have done to give them a chance. Given up her rank and worked as a scientist, she still could have been on SG 1 maybe. Transferred to another team, but the four of them worked well together.
As soon as the song started Sam wanted to turn it off. Listening to it would be torture, but something made her keep listening as small tears began to roll down hr cheeks.
I cry and you comfort me
I'm lost and you hear my scream
So it's hard to watch you falling
When you run so deep in me
You live in me
Gonna stand by your side now
Let me kiss all your tears away
You can stay in my arms now
And I know I can make you believe again
I walk but you can run through the fire
I search for reasons and baby you inspire
But I know somebody hurt you
And I know you really need a friend
Well you can take my hand
Gonna stand by your side now
Let me kiss all your tears away
You can stay in my arms now
And I know I can make you believe again
When you're feeling like you can't go on
Don't you know
You never walk alone no
You live in me
Gonna stand by your side now
Let me kiss all your tears away
You can stay in my arms now
And I know I can make you believe again
I'm gonna stand, stand by your side
Kiss all your tears away tonight
I'm gonna stand, stand by your side
Make you believe again
See you smiling again
Sam was now sobbing into her hands as she the song finished. She let herself release the emotions she had bottled up for the previous weeks before she tried to move. After a few minutes she got up and made her way to her bedroom. On her nightstand was the small silver locket he had given her for her birthday. She was stunned when she had opened it. It seemed like such a personal gift. It was round and about the size of a quarter and on the back he had got an S engraved in an old English style script. She was even more surprised when she had opened it and found a photo of her mother in one side and her father in the other. So stunned she had said thank you and put it on but had not even looked at him.
When he was leaving she walked him to the door and she finally got the nerve to thank him properly.
"Sir?"
"Carter?"
Sam did not say anything but instead reached up and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Thank you for the present. It is beautiful." She said looking down at it.
"Well I did have Cassie help me a little bit. She suggested jewellery but I chose it by myself so I...I'm glad you like it."
And she did. It was one of two things she wore around her neck; her tags were the other.
Sam was fastening the necklace when the phone ringing in the hall brought her out of a daydream once again.
"Carter." She said as she picked it up.
"Sam, it's Daniel. You need to come back to the mountain." He said.
"Why? What's wrong?" She asked trying to breathe.
"No no, no, nothing's wrong Sam. He's awake, and he wants to see you."
Daniel had hardly finished speaking before Sam had hung up and was making her way to her car, to him.
A/N- Song is "Stand By Your Side" by Celine Dion from her album One Heart. A very good CD...review if you like, I love feed back and any help!