Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, but if I did, Rory would have accepted Logan's proposal and Lorelai would have stayed married to Chris! But alas, I am not, so they didn't. Sad day.
The Tragedy at 37 Maple Street
An explosion and a scream came from the kitchen of the Gilmore residence at 5:45 a.m. on Tuesday morning. Rory ran into the room meant for cooking (but only the toaster was used) and found her mother standing in front of a… or what used to be… a coffee maker. "I… I… just wanted coffee! And then it exploded! It just… Boom!" a de-caffeinated Lorelai babbled while standing it a puddle of coffee grounds and half-brewed coffee.
"Mommy? What are we going to do without coffee?" 16-year-old Rory whimpered.
They turned to each other and at the same time said, "Luke's." And with that they grabbed their jackets, still clad in their pajamas, and ran to Luke's Diner.
Once they got there, they were met by a glaring sign that read: CLOSED. Rory started to bang on the door, but to no avail. Lorelai, on the other hand had a different plan. She gathered rocks from the street and threw them at Luke's window. A head poked out of said window two minutes later.
"One more rock and I swear I'll… Lorelai? Rory? What the…" Luke sighed. "I'll be down in a minute." The Gilmore girls waltzed up to the doors and waved when they saw the grumpy diner owner come down the stairs in his ball cap and… were those plaid pajama pants?
As soon as he opened the door the girls started talking at the same time, and quickly at that. "The coffee maker exploded! I can't deal with Michel without my coffee Luke! I have three cups before I leave the house and then I come here and have two more! One while I sit and one to go! What am I going to do! Luke, I beg of you! Give me coffee! I will repay you with whatever you want! Sexual favors included! Just please give it to me!"
"Luke! I have a history test today! Everyone knows Rory Gilmore does not take a test without a sufficient amount of caffeine flowing through my veins! Which is a lot! Let me tell you. The human body is 61.8 percent water and the Gilmores are 59.72 percent coffee! I neeeed my coffee in the morning! Almost as much as mom does! Oh No! How am I going to deal with mom when she has no coffee in her! She'll evaporate! Luke, help us please!"
"Whoa. Slow down there you two." Luke managed to slip a word in edge wise. "I will make you coffee, but you have to promise me you will cut down your intake! This can't be healthy!" Luke turned to his beloved coffee maker and poured enough grounds in the filter to caffeinate a small army-or please a Gilmore, one of the two.
"Yeah, whatever, cut down, blah blah blah. Give me coffee!" Lorelai insisted.
Ten minutes later, the Gilmores were happily gulping the elixir of life while Luke shook his head in disgust. "One of these days, I will break you of this addiction."
"Yeah, sure, and swine will suddenly sprout wings, tell me how that goes Luke." Rory giggled at her mother's remark. They left after three more cups and two cups to-go.
"We love you!" They exclaimed as they headed out the door.
Later that day, when Rory was back from school and Lorelai came home from work, the girls went on a mission: to find another coffee maker.
They went into town and searched the stores, but nothing was found. So they went to the Target in Woodbury where they ran to the section of coffee makers and were stunned by the wall of them. "They are like happiness makers! Oh look at this pink one! And it even has Hello Kitty! Wait, it can only make four cups. What a disgrace!" Rory pointed to the small machine. "You should not be here. You belong in the toy section! Four cups! Ha! What good would you do to anyone!"
"Hun, it's generally a bad sign when you start yelling at inanimate objects… I'm so proud!" Lorelai laughed. "Oh! I like this one! It has a cool clock-y thing! It lights up and tells time! And it holds twelve cups! And a carafe! We are getting this!" The elder Gilmore declared as she tucked the box under her arm.
That night after setting the new machine up and making the first pot, Lorelai turned off the kitchen lights to get the full effect of the machine. Turned out, only the clock lit up with an eerie green glare.
"It looks like a Cyclops. It's just…. staring at me. We have to take it back."
"Mom, I think it is just the caffeine depravation, it's not staring at you." Rory yelled from her room while rummaging through her drawers to find her socks. "Mom? Have you seen my Chilton socks? I can't find them anywhere." No reply came. "Mom!" Rory exclaimed again, hoping her mom would pay attention. "And no, I can't wear those pink fuzzy ones." She slumped out of her room into the kitchen, only to find her mother staring at the green glow of the coffee maker's clock. "Oh! That is kinda creepy! And strangely mesmerizing." The younger Lorelai tilted her head and watch the seconds tick by on the electronic clock display. Then it beeped. Both girls jumped at the sound.
"Rory? Can we take it back now?" her mom pleaded. She emphatically nodded in reply.
"But we can't get that Hello Kitty one, because we'd have to buy three of them. And. No." Rory put her foot down at the thought of only four cups.
"Oh! Mommy has an idea! Why don't we break into Luke's and steal his coffee maker! I think it has special magical powers or something… and it doesn't stare…" Lorelai trailed off as the smell of coffee filled the kitchen. "Maybe it won't be that bad." She rationalized as she poured most of the pot into the bowl that was her mug. Rory followed close behind.
"Yeah, it's not that intolerable. Maybe we can smash the little light," her daughter said as she brought the warm liquid to her lips.
"Mmm" Both girls moaned as they took their first sip of the product of the creepy coffee maker.
"We'll keep it for now," Lorelai said, practically melting as the liquid warmed her whole body. "Or for a long time…"
AN: This is my first fanfic so I hope you liked it! Tell me what you think! And yes, I did actually own this coffee maker once. Scariest thing ever, but it did make an awesome pot of coffee...