Guilt
1. Guilt- gilt- an awareness of having done wrong or committed a crime, accompanied by feelings of shame and regret.
It had been a little over a day since the day he defeated Bizzaro. A little over a day since he rid the world of Phantoms. A little over a day since he found her, desperately holding onto Chloe as she sat in her own pool of blood.
A little over a day since she spoke to anyone.
"All of this is my fault." She had whispered as he lifted Chloe's limp body.
He looked down at her; her eyes still locked onto the spot where she leaned on the wall moments ago. He had tried to touch her, a slight comfort he had hoped but she jumped away.
She didn't want him nor his sympathy.
She was alone in a war of her mind, though he stood right beside her; patiently waiting for a sign he could help.
It never came.
He ended up pulling her to her feet, dragging her to her own car and setting her in the passenger's seat as he set Chloe in the back.
"Lois? Where are your keys?"
She starred blankly at her purse and threw it at him, smacking him in the face with it before looking away out the window.
He starred at her in shock, but then he felt the waves that rolled off of her.
Her guilt.
An awareness of having done wrong.
He had to drive Chloe to the hospital. He had to leave Lois locked in the car. He had to drive Lois to her own apartment and put her in it only to have the door slammed in his face. No words, just that silence that she hated.
As soon as he reached for the handle he heard the distinct lock of a bolt, a latch of a chain and a turn to make sure he couldn't get in.
He set in his room by the phone, awaiting that silent call. One that came with a whisper, a bone chilling request and some tears strung up on the side.
Would it ever come?
Chloe had been released and told him what had happened. She had tried to get Lois to come out but never got an answer. She tried to say she was fine but it didn't work. She was only greeted with silence and the dark that crept under the door.
Had Lois done something wrong?
No. She hadn't done anything wrong. Not in his mind at least.
Or committing a crime.
No crimes had been committed during any of this.
Well ok there was breaking and entering but they all did that.
All the time.
He sighed and thought about it for another second. He had to look at it from her point of view. That wasn't a hard thing to do, Lois was simple to him.
She protects the one's she loves.
And she'll do anything to do that.
But she doesn't want the vice-versa.
That's how he ended up at her doorway, a bobby pin in hand, picking away until the door came undone.
He didn't want to scare her by breaking the knob and he knew how to pick a lock. He always has.
He opened the door and dislodged the chain, pushing it out of the way before closing the door behind him, then opening his eyes to the horrors of her apartment.
Nothing had been moved; nothing had been touched or used.
Sheer perfection with one exception:
The crumpled up body lying on the floor, with blood caked to her shirt and jacket and tear stains surrounding her in a circular pattern.
She was taking shallow breaths, the sharp intakes ricocheted through the empty room. She was wheezing.
He cautiously walked up behind her and sat down on the floor, whispering her name as he did so she wouldn't be afraid.
He looked down at her face. Her makeup drawn in trails down her eyes. The black circles under her eyes showing her insomnia.
One day of crying can be three days without sleep. Crying takes a lot out of you, he knew this.
Her eyes were looking at nothing in particular. She was probably cursing whatever allowed her to live.
"Lois?" He whispered carefully before setting a hand on her face.
She didn't flinch. She merely looked at him and starred. The stare was hollow and unlike her, sending a long strand of shivers down his spine.
He lifted her into his lap where she curled into him and rested her head on his shoulder. He watched her face give out as she closed her eyes. He felt her hands seek warmth under his jacket as she shivered against him.
He lifted her and walked her to her bed but couldn't dislodge her from him. He contented with laying down with her, where she sprawled her body across his and took him over.
"Chloe." She said, a shake in her evident. She was afraid he could tell.
"She's just fine Lois. Nothings wrong with her."
"What did she do to me?" The question was blank not blunt, just blank.
"We don't know yet." He rubbed his hand up her back and she chilled against it. He looked at her worried. "Are you cold? I can get some blankets-"
He tried to pull away from her again and her nails dug into her skin and she screamed.
"NO!!!"
He looked at the fear on her face, she refused to meet his eyes. She refused to see his worry.
She didn't need his pity. She just needs him.
"Ok then."
He watched her for the longest time having no idea what to do or say. She looked haunted, so afraid.
"What's going on?"
"She can't die for me."
"But you can die for her."
She looked into his eyes and her guilt fell away. She closed them and allowed the sleep to finally come.
He understood.
That's all she needed for now.
When she woke up it would be a different story,
Entirely.
He watched the peace come across her features as she gripped his arms tighter to her body.
"I'm not going any where." He whispered into her hair.
She refused to let him go.