Bill the Pony, a lord of the rings fanfic

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lord of the Rings, Bill the Pony, or any of the other characters mentioned here. I don't even own the attitude. That's Bill's. This is what he told me word for word. Honestly. You can even ask him. Although he'll try to tell you I "embellished" a few points here and there. I didn't. And he still owes me that pint at the Prancing Pony, the bloody wanker.

A.S.R.

Bill the Pony

(sung to "Mony Mony")

I come from the village of Bree

I belonged to a guy named Ferny

The Hobbits paid a good price for me, yeah

But we had to take flight in the middle of the night

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

CHORUS

I'm Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

Way up there on Amon Sûl

I hid out, I wasn't a fool

Frodo's butt was kicked by the Nazgûl

And if it weren't for me, Strider wouldn't see

Frodo fall, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

CHORUS

I'm Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

Elrond's cool, don't give him no lip

He made me part of the Fellowship

He even threw away that horse whip, yeah

And I carried the gear we would need for a year

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

CHORUS

I'm Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

INTRUMENTAL SOLO

(fan girls singing)

Oooooo, we love you, pony, Bill the Pony

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

Strider pissed me off, you know

He told Sam I had to go

I can take on any, foe, yeah

But away I went. Aragorn, get bent!

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

CHORUS

I'm Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --

I'm Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony, Bill the Pony

I say neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh, neigh --