This one is set after Ender finds out that the simulation was real and was put unconscious.
Petra and the rest of the Dragon Army watched as Ender lay motionless on his bed. Moments ago, they were celebrating over their graduation simulation win, but now? Celebrating was the last thing on everyone's mind.
"Let's let him rest," Said Bean, summoning everyone but Petra out of the room. She remained, staring at Ender. Slowly and silently, she crept over to his bed and sat next to his waist on it.
"I'm so sorry," She looked at Ender's closed eyelids, and gently ran her fingers down his chest. That course blue uniform remained on him. She thought about putting pajamas on him, but that'd be weird- wouldn't it? Besides, he'd only be asleep for a little while longer (or at least, that's what she hoped). Tears were stinging at Petra's eyes as she thought of what she knew.
The whole Dragon Army knew, except for Ender. The whole fleet knew that it wasn't really a simulation, that everything they did- everyone they sacrificed- were real. Alai had wanted to tell Ender, but Colonel Graff insisted that not a single word was told to him.
"He's too obsessed with those aliens to take this seriously," He'd said, "I love Ender like a son, I think he has true potential, but if I learned anything in this program it's that you can't show mercy,"
Petra grew a hatred for Colonel Graff that day, a hatred she couldn't forget. He wanted these children, some of them even younger than herself, to forget love, forget compassion, forget it all and just murder. The pit of Petra's stomach felt awkward and hurt. Maybe it was because she was deceiving Ender?
Petra couldn't explain her feelings for Ender. Nobody could. It was these feelings, she felt, that caused Bonzo to die. She knew, the whole Salamander Army knew, that Bonzo loved her. Before Ender came along, Petra went along with Bonzo's lines and moves. He even abused Petra, but she thought it to be love. But once she met Ender, she felt real love, something she never felt with Bonzo. Petra understood what it was like to love, a feeling that'd been washed out of her since Battle Camp.
Bonzo was jealous of Ender, he was jealous that Petra loved Ender and not him. If Petra hadn't loved Ender, Bonzo wouldn't have been jealous. If Bonzo wasn't jealous, he wouldn't hate Ender. If Bonzo hadn't hated Ender, he wouldn't have attacked him. If Bonzo hadn't attacked Ender, Ender wouldn't have fought back. If Ender hadn't fought back, Bonzo would be okay. So, in a crazy, twisted way, if Petra hadn't loved Ender, everyone would be safe and sound in Battle Camp.
Somehow, to Petra, it was only logical to blame everything on herself.
"If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be here," Petra whispered, a cold tear running down her cheek. She stroked Ender's warm forehead, her hand running through his hair. She wanted to freeze time; to be with Ender like this forever. Here and now was a place where she could touch and hold young Ender and love him like she was meant to. He wouldn't even know.
But the dark thoughts that caused Petra's tears told her not to wish that. They told her that Colonel Graff was right, that love isn't meant to be used in this battle. Love is a thing of the past now.
"I knew," Choked Petra. "I knew the whole time. Graff told me it was real and I should have told you, Ender," Tears were now steadily flowing down Petra's cheeks.
Ender's eyes flew open and he bolted upright. Petra retracted her hand so swiftly you'd have thought the boy's skin was poisonous.
"You knew?" Ender narrowed his blue eyes at Petra, glaring at her. "You let me murder and entire species?"
"Ender, I-" Petra had to make amends, but she was crying so hard she could barely speak.
"Don't try to give me an excuse!" Yelled Ender, in that loud voice that clearly didn't match his small, fragile body. Ender got up from his bed, and so did Petra.
"Ender, please, just let me explain!" Petra cried, standing in front of Ender to block him from leaving.
Ender planted a finger on Petra's chest, saying "You're despicable! I'd have expected this from Bonzo, not you!" Petra let out a sob. Bonzo often treated her like this. In her mind, Ender's face morphed into Bonzo's. "You don't keep secrets from your commander! You're off the Dragon Army!" She heard Bonzo's voice in her ears.
Here stands Petra, a strong, brave girl. But when it comes to her past with Bonzo, or her love for Ender, she breaks.
Here stands Ender, a loving, yet tough boy. But when he's angry, he loses the compassion of his sister and gains the violence of his brother.
Ender didn't think about Petra. He didn't think about how she was already a mess, how she didn't need more pain. He just knew he was mad, and an outlet for him was violence.
With a loud SMACK! Petra was on the ground, unable to control her sobs. Ender looked down to her, an evil superior look in his eye.
Ender Wiggin was a man to be feared.