Rito's Many Misfortunes – Arch 1 – Chapter 1
Right now, Rito is lying in bed next to Lala. This really isn't all that unusual, seeing as she often sneaks into his bed during the night. However, this is unusual for three reasons. One, she has all her clothes on. Two, Rito agreed to her sleeping next to him. And three, Rito's hand is very firmly holding onto her tail. 'Now, how did this happen?' you might be wondering. Well, it all began that Saturday morning with yet another of Lala's incredible inventions…
"And this is my lab!" Lala announced proudly to Rito and Mikan, having led them through Rito's closet into a large white room.
"Lala, we knew that already. You've been here for a year already, jeez," Rito groaned in his usual tone of exasperation. One that had been carefully developed over the year and a little bit that Lala had been here. The addition of Lala's younger twin sisters had only served to perfect the already highly polished tone.
"Aw, but its fun to announce stuff!" Lala pouted at Rito, stretching her hands behind her back. Mikan just looked at the two and sighed. To her it was completely obvious that Rito was completely in love with Lala. He was just too stupid to realize it. At some point he would, and then any chance anyone else had with him would die. Well, except maybe Haruna Sairenji. Not that she cared, she thought with a quick blush.
"Hey Lala, what's that over there?" Mikan asked, pointing at what looked like a chair with several buttons on it and three cords hanging off of each of the armrests. Lala looked over at what she was pointing at and jumped in front of her, waving her arms frantically.
"That's nothing at all that you would find interesting! I-I promise!" She almost screamed, her suddenly very red face betraying her words. "Wh-why don't you look at the new version of Pyon-pyon warp-kun instead?" Lala pushed Mikan towards the other end of the room, where a strange rabbit-headed cylinder stood.
In the meantime, Rito had started poking around in a box of half-finished inventions. Knowing Lala, he thought, this is probably not a good idea. I mean, she's invented rockets that make nukes look like rocks. Noticing something, he reached into the box and pulled out what looked like a little magnet with legs. "Hey Lala! What is this?"
"Hmm?" the pink haired alien turned towards Rito, smiling widely. "Oh, that's one of my prototypes! It's not finished yet or particularly stable, so be careful with it!"
"Ah, okay then," he muttered, placing the thing back in the box. Just as he put it back into the space it had previously occupied, a small wire snaked out of the tip of one of the magnets prongs and tapped him on the hand. "GYAAAAAAAAAAA!" His scream of pain was matched by an immense electrical glow around his body, making his insides visible.
"Rito!" three panicked voices rang out, followed by a "What happened?!" a moment later from Lala. Momo and Nana had entered the lab just in time to witness Rito's electrocution. Momo ran over to Rito's charred form and knelt down next to him. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?"
All of her frantic questioning was answered by a simple raised thumb and groan from Rito. Lala quickly came over and helped Rito stand up. "I'll take you to your room, okay Rito? I'm really sorry!" Momo and Nana stayed behind with Mikan, trying to find out just what had happened to Rito. Mikan herself was still poking around Lala's different inventions, calming herself down after what had happened.
Lala brought Rito into his room and helped him over to his bed. This isn't good, she thought worriedly, Rito always bounces right back! Now he's all burnt and he hasn't recovered at all! This time he might actually be seriously hurt! As she worried about him, she quickly tucked him in before sitting down on the bed next to him. "I'm sorry Rito, I really didn't want you to get hurt this badly. You normally are okay right after the explosion or whatever, but now…" she trailed off miserably.
"It's okay Lala, really. I'm fine. I just needed a few extra minutes that time, so don't worry so much." Rito's voice came from behind her, surprising her.
She whipped around, eyes bright and smiling hugely. "Really, Rito? You're okay? That's so awesome!" With a loud "yay" she pulled Rito into a tight hug that had his eyes popping out of his sockets.
"Y-yeah it is, but I need air!" he croaked out from her death grip. After she released him, he chuckled and rubbed his head ruefully. "Well then, let's get me out of here. I think I still have to go to the store and get more soy sauce."
"Okay, Rito!" Lala bounced off of the bed, and then started towards the door. Before she had gone two steps she suddenly stopped and began to shiver intensely. Without warning, she moaned and dropped to her knees.
"Lala! What's wrong?" Rito jumped out of his bed and moved towards her, looking worried.
"M-my tail, Rito! Y-you're h-holding my- Ah! Tail, Rito!" Lala stammered out, hugging herself tightly. "P-please let go!" she barely managed to gasp out.
"I-I'm so sorry! Of course I'll let go!" the teen said before trying to let of Lala's tail, which was clamped firmly in his right hand. His fingers uncurled, but his palm remained firmly stuck to her tail. "Heh?" he muttered, trying again. "Eh, Lala, I can't let go!"
"Wh-what do you mean, you can't let go?" Lala murmured weakly from the floor, where she lay shivering and moaning occasionally.
"My hand is stuck to your tail! I can move it up and down but that's it!" He demonstrated by moving his hand from the spade tip of her tail all the way up to its base at Lala's back and down again. This made Lala moan loudly and roll onto her back, staring at the ceiling with a glazed expression on her face, a bit of drool trickling out of the corner of her mouth.
"T-try not to move your hand then, Rito. I can't feel it if you don't move it…" Lala whispered shakily, blushing heavily.
"O-okay then," Rito stuttered nervously, offering Lala his left hand.
"Rito! We found the invention that you were messing with! Don't touch any-!" Momo shouted suddenly from Rito's closet. Noticing Lala's flushed face and heavy breathing she grinned at Rito and began to back off quickly. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything."
"No! Wait! We aren't doing anything!" Rito shouted, lunging after Momo and pulling Lala's tail again. She responded by moaning out his name loudly and arching her back.
"Nothing at all, eh?" Mikan commented, appearing behind Momo. "Are you sure about that, big bro?
"Yes! Dang it! I can't get my hand off of Lala's tail!" he shouted before falling to his knees dramatically. "I'm not doing anything on purpose!"
"Okay already, calm down. Jeez, you're so emotional…" Nana grumped at him, walking out from the lab with the magnet in her hand. "Anyway, this is the partially completed magnet thingy that Lala was working on. You got zapped with its magnetism, so don't touch anything with the hand that got zapped, or else you won't be able to remove your hand for about a day and a half."
Rito's only response was to hold up Lala's tail. Nana glared at him, Momo started to giggle, and Mikan all simply sighed and turned away. "Knowing my brother, I should have expected that."
"Yeah, probably," Rito admitted. "But seriously, why me?"
"Because I love you!" came Lala's exhausted reply from the floor behind him. Rito blushed furiously and turned around. He knelt next to her and helped her up, sighing as she slowly started to lose her glazed look. Noticing everyone staring at her, she cheerfully chirped, "What just happened?"
Rito fainted.
When he finally came to, he found himself lying on the floor with a very happy Lala contentedly drawing circles on his chest with her finger. To particularly enjoy her quality time with her husband, she had opted for the removal of all of her clothes.
"L-Lala! Dang it what the hell are you doing!?" Rito squeaked, scrambling backwards. Lala was about to answer when her face suddenly became twisted with pain and she let out a small cry. Rito immediately froze, and looking down at his right hand, saw that he had just bent Lala's tail at a very awkward angle. He immediately lifted his hand and straightened out her tail, trying to be as gentle as possible. "Lala! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!"
Lala smiled a little, blinking back tears. "It's okay Rito. I'll be fine." She tried to move her tail, and then winced. "But that really hurt."
"Are you sure Lala? I'm really, really, really sorry about hurting you!" Rito moved closer to her, trying to move his hand as little as possible.
"Yeah. I'm Devilukean, so I heal quickly anyways. And it's fine"
"O-okay then. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you then?
Lala grinned. "Yup! Be my husband!"
"Wh-what?! I-I'm not ready for that!"
"Awww! Please? Just for today?" Lala pouted at Rito, giving him a look that made any puppy fade into insignificance.
"O-okay then, Lala. J-just for today I'll be your…" Rito gulped around his huge blush, "h-husband." Lala stared at him for a few seconds, and then a grin spread across her face. She jumped up suddenly and let out a loud cheer.
"Hooray! Rito's my husband! I love you, Rito!" Her announcement was followed by a loud moan when she attempted to run out the door. Within seconds she was on the ground again, shivering and making small noises while Rito was lying flat on his face with his hand outstretched and still attached to Lala's tail.
"Lala, my hand's still stuck… and please put on some clothes…" Rito groaned from the floor.
"But Ritoo! It's so much more comfortable without them! And it's a wife's duty to make sure that her husband has many sons, right?"
Rito's face turned flaming red, steam erupting around the carpet where his face was buried. "Lala, where exactly did you get that information?"
"From this!" she announced happily, ignoring the fact that she was lying on the floor and crawled to Rito's prone form. Reaching him, she jabbed a book in his face. "I borrowed it from Mikan's room! It has lots of pictures of cool stuff, and it tells you everything you need to know about Japan's culture!" Rito looked at the title on the cover of the book; Everything You Wanted to Know About Ancient Japan: The Illustrated Edition. He sweatdropped and looked at Lala questioningly.
"Lala... This is a little outdated... There's no sacred duties of a wife today, I don't think..."
"Okay! Can we still have lots of kids? They're just too cute!" Lala cheerfully asked him. Rito just groaned and buried his face in his hands, accidentally causing Lala to gasp as his face squeezed her tail against his palm.
"S-sorry Lala! I need to get used to this..." The pink-haired girl's only reaction was to smile and pat him on the head, indicating through a rather complicated series of gestures that it would be okay, there would be time, and could she please have at least three children? At this point, Rito silently and desparately begged the sky to tell him why exactly this sort of thing always happened to him!