Waves and the Both of Us

By Cloudshaper

The only times that he sat along the edge of the sea was when he really needed to think. And for him, thinking was a process much different than it was in others. But here he sat, contemplating the past few years. The day was drawing to a close. The horizon blazed on, although the sun was already preparing to dip below the ocean. He sighed, glancing at the heart-shaped tin that sat in his lap, the tin that he had crafted himself, that he had put his heart and soul into. It was the anniversary of her "death", or whatever you preferred to call it. In other words, the anniversary of the day she stopped coexisting with the Teen Titans.

He opened the tin, meeting his own solemn reflection in the mirror on the bottom of the lid. He looked tired. He looked more mature. But he didn't seem sad. He seemed…well, tired.

As he sat on the rocks, he kicked his feet, recalling their past conversations. He thought about the relationship that almost had been. It would have been his first real relationship. He felt upset, that it had disappeared. He felt betrayed. But he found comfort in her redemption. He found solace in the fact that she hadn't entirely been evil, that she had seen the error of her ways and ended up being a hero, in the end. Despite the fact that they could never be together, he still missed her. He still wished that he could have some kind of relationship with her, whether romantic or not. He would have enjoyed having her back in his life. But he couldn't. He knew this. He had finally accepted this change.

He knew it would be a matter of time before one his comrades came out to retrieve him. His inner child was a bit curious as to know who would be the lucky one to do so.

Almost on cue, he heard footsteps approaching from behind. They were soft, and fragile, so that ruled Cyborg out. Starfire probably would have flown out, calling out to him from afar. And Beast Boy knew the sound of Robin's steps too well to know that was him. The only person left would have to be…

"Raven, can we maybe not talk about this?" he asked. There was no accusation in his voice, no malice or hurt. He was asking a legitimate question.

Her footsteps continued, until she stood beside him. He glanced up at her. She lowered her hood. The sunset reflected upon her face as she gazed outwards. The slight breeze pushed wisps of her violet hair around, and her amethyst eyes glistened. He tried to search her face for signs of what was going in her head, but her expression remained stoic. Beast Boy was caught a bit off guard when she proceeded to sit down beside him.

"We don't have to. It's up to you."

Beast Boy arched an eyebrow, quizzically. Since when was Raven his psychiatrist?

He removed the tin from his lap and placed it in the small space between them. He noticed Raven glance down at it, only to resume her position, alert and forward.

Beast Boy sighed. He really did want to talk about it. But how could he expect her to understand his emotions?

The teens sat in silence, the waves lapping up upon the shore before them. It was peaceful. It was reflective. If Raven had not been able to sense the distraught that emanated from the green youth beside her, this would have been a perfect spot to meditate in.

"I know you all think that I'm still in love with her…but I'm not."

Raven said nothing.

"I mean…maybe I wasn't in love with her in the first place…"

This time, Raven nodded, in understanding. "Why were you so drawn to her in the first place?"

Beast Boy shrugged, glancing down at the tin. "I don't know…I mean, at first I thought she was pretty, and nice…but…it felt like she was the only one who really…understood me. I didn't have to try and impress her, you know? She liked me for who I was. I didn't have to…change for her."

It seemed logical enough. Terra was the only one who would laugh at his jokes. It wasn't as though Raven couldn't understand where Beast Boy's initial attraction had stemmed from. The longing to feel accepted, the desire to be themselves…it was emotionally daunting. There was an internal struggle within the both of them, a struggle that they both shared with one another, even if they had never openly acknowledged it.

"And I've always felt that….I was never gonna have that again... you know?"

Raven nodded. "I understand how you feel Beast Boy. Believe me, when I tell you this."

Beast Boy opened his mouth to question her, but immediately shut it as he realized the incident to which she was referring. They had both suffered heartache. They had both been misled. They had both been tricked, used, and had led to believe that someone had held romantic feelings. With Terra, it was more valid: she really had liked Beast Boy. But with Malchior…that was a subject Raven never wanted to think about ever again. Beast Boy was a bit surprised that she had let it slip into her mind. And all to make him feel better? That wasn't something he was used to.

He entered into conversation arena again. "I think it's just a bunch of things. I still feel…bad for her. But I also feel like I'm never gonna get that again. Maybe this sounds selfish, but I feel like I'm never gonna find someone who likes me, for me."

Raven shook her head, turning her body to face him for the first time.

"You won't Beast Boy. I promise you. You're going to find someone who appreciates everything about you." Feeling that this was a little too kind for her liking, she added "And all of your terrible jokes."

Beast Boy glanced at her. "Do you really mean that? Like…in all seriousness…really?"

Raven hesitated. She hated feeling like this….this sentimental friend.

"…I really do."

For a moment, she expected him to smother her in a hug, and she braced herself. But when she didn't feel his arms encircle her in one of his annoying hugs, she felt almost misled. Instead, he picked up the heart-shaped tin and removed it from the space between them. He was just gazing at her, eyes twinkling, the setting sun etching shadows across his face. Raven was caught off guard and felt flustered. She swallowed. Though the pair had shared interesting moments before, this was uncharted territory. There was something different. Something older, more mature, more refined. She had no idea what it signified, she could only sense some sort of change between them.

Beast Boy stood up, the tin in hand and moved towards the ocean. He bent down and set it gently in the shallow water, and the waves began to rock it, back and forth, very slowly, until it was being pushed out to sea. He watched it for a few moments, until it disappeared from view and turned back to Raven. She was now standing, hood back over her head, and she wore a very small smile on her face. He moved closer to her, and noticed that her expression was somewhat surprised at the action he'd just performed. Lots of surprises today, he thought, smiling softly.

He decided to surprise her one last time by giving her shoulder a short, yet reassuring squeeze, and pulling the top of her hood down a bit so he could place a soft kiss beside her eye.

"Thanks Rae, you're a great friend." He whispered into her ear before placing the hood back on her head, and moving towards the tower's entrance. He caught sight of the confusion and blush that had crept up onto her face and gave one of his childish cackles.

"Nice face, Raven!" he grinned.

She scowled, still blushing profusely.

A/N: Wow, I've really missed this fandom! This is my first Titans work, so maybe I'll do a bit more of it in the future. I'm a big BBxRae girl, but I'm willing to try writing some other ships as well. I think that if I do more in this franchise, I'll probably finally start writing some darker material too. We'll see! Thanks for reading. (: