A/N: So this is one reason why I haven't finished my other fics. Too busy with this.
I started out with funny ideas on jokes and stuff about Skyrim. I had one for Oblivion but the jokes were mainly against the game's programming. In Skyrim, there are certainly jokes to poke fun at with the programming but the story itself is filled with things that I'm sure everyone knows about. Like say... "Arrow to the knee". While I will use that joke, I'll probably limit the number of times I use it. It's too overused it's not funny anymore.
Anyway, this story is meant to be poking fun at the different things in the game that I'm sure the developers put in for a reason. Others... well, it's just me that's having fun. As this story is not really meant to be serious, you don't need to point out every mistake I've made.
This fic is broken down into Point-of-View narratives of the different characters that I have introduced below. Each chapter will be from another character's point of view and will keep switching. It is not a 1st person narrative so it WILL get confusing if you're not paying attention. It is structured as very short one-shots with their individual plots but with the same characters.
Although I did say that this is meant to be like a series of one-shots, there is an underlying plot that will be revealed as I write more.
The characters may seem out of place but bear with me on this. This isn't meant to be a serious story. Have fun.
Skyrim Adventures
Chapter 1
The stuff of Legends
Dragonborn / Dovahkiin
Race: Nord
Gender: Male
Class: Dragonborn
Standing Stone: The Lord
Skills:
All
(One handed and Block in particular)
Speciality:
Shouting
Mysterious luck
Curious nature
Notes: Although his speciality is shouting, he is a rather quiet person. Seems to be on some sort of quest all the time that may or may not have any relevance to his original plans. Easily side tracked and wanders into caves and dungeons without hesitation. As though the stars are aligned wherever he goes, the Dragonborn is always at the right place at the right time to help people with requests.
Sylvian
Race: Elf (?)
Gender: Female
Class: Elf Ranger
Standing Stone: The Lady
Skills:
Marksmanship
Sneak
Alchemy (The eating portion)
Speciality:
Dual wield
Blending into forests
Summoning animals
Notes: An Elf that came from an unknown place outside of Tamriel in search for something. Her race does not look like the Elves of Tamriel at all but rather like young humans. Their skills are very much akin to Wood Elves. Met the Dragonborn outside of Helgen and nearly shot him out of surprise. Travels with him now. Very oblivious to social norms in Skyrim.
Sigfrid Nibelung
Race: Nord
Gender: Male
Class: Companion Harbinger
Standing Stone: Warrior
Skills:
Two Handed
Heavy Armour
Smithing
Speciality:
Werewolf
OCD
Notes: As the new harbinger for the companions, Sigfrid is quite strict about keeping up appearances. Although he is a werewolf, he is also a very naggy person when it comes to cleanliness. Most of the Companions call him the 'Nag' but hold respect for both his leadership and his skills. Contrary to what people may think, he is unable to hold down his liquor.
Thayran
Race: High Elf / Breton mix (3/4 Mer)
Gender: Female
Class: Archmage
Standing Stone: Mage
Skills:
Destruction
Alteration
Conjuration
Alteration
Restoration (Bad at it despite being Master level)
Speciality:
VERY POWERFUL
Small size
Book worm
Notes: As the Archmage, she has tremendous power in Magic but her character is not someone befitting the Archmage. Tends to lose her temper easily and her forte is Destruction magic. As a half mix of two magically attuned species, her skills are no joking matter. She looks very much like a Breton, but her ears are elvish. She accidentally caused an explosion when she failed an alchemic reaction (she is very bad at potions), and it caused her body to revert back into her younger days. More specifically, into the body of her 14 year old self. Her mind is still that of her old self. She has remained like that for a long time to the point many think she may never age again. She is extremely disorganized, leading to Sigfrid to scold her often
Kevex
Race: Dark Elf
Gender: Male
Class: Thief Guild Master / Nightingale
Standing Stone: Thief
Skills:
Sneak
Lockpick
Pick-pocket
Illusion
Speechcraft
Speciality:
Observant eye
Analytic mind
Notes: As a thief, the Guild master no less, Kevex has the ability to discern the mechanics of traps, layout of dungeons and has the ability to plot out strategies to easily overcome obstacles. Also has the bad habit of scavenging every nook and cranny, be it chest, burial urns, book shelves or cooking pots in search for loot even in the midst of a fight or with imminent death staring at him in the face. A smooth talker as well as a quick hand had gotten him out of trouble more times than people bother to remember. He tends to attempt to carry more loot than he is able to, leading others to either help him carry his loot, or just ignore him.
Alexia
Race: Imperial
Gender: Female
Class: Assassin / Listener
Standing Stone: Shadow
Skills:
Sneak
Illusion
Lockpick
One handed
Speciality:
Sudden disappearance / appearance
One hit kill
Blending into crowds / shadows
Sleeping anywhere
Notes: For an Assassin as well as the dark brotherhood's listener, Alexia tends to sleep too often. Not very attentive and clearly not focused most of the time, she seems less harmless than a rabbit. However looks can be deceiving as she is known to kill her targets so quickly and silently that even the victims died without knowing what happened. She has been known to wear clothing not found in the Dark Brotherhood's wardrobe, saying something like 'Great assassins wear white'. Has been known to kill targets even before the Night Mother had told her about them. Likes cute and furry things.
Others:
Thanes of the Nine Holds
Notes: There are nine Thanes of each hold and each are as quirky as the next. They seem to sense that the Dovahkiin is someone they need to assist and thus lend aid to him whenever possible.
M'kuir
Race: Khajhit
Gender: Male
Class: Merchant / Adventurer
Skills:
Speechcraft
Sneak
One handed
Light Armour
Speciality:
Bargaining
Fence
Discerning prices
Notes: A face that all in the group know and holds a complicated relationship with them. Joining the group at times and other times just going separately. Acts like an information broker most of the time.
Orgranar
Race: Orc
Gender: Male
Class: Blacksmith / Chef (?)
Skills:
Blacksmith
Heavy armour
Speciality:
Cooking
Notes: As an Orc, Orgranar's prowess in battle is nothing to laugh at, however he had always believed himself to have a higher calling. Coming to Skyrim in search of the legendary 'Gourmet', he wanders from hold to hold, offering up dishes that he cooked himself. While most of his dishes do not look appetizing, or indeed edible, the taste is guaranteed. He is a master craftsman by trade and makes the weapons and armour to whoever can afford them. He also does seem to be very good at sewing and knitting.
Akbiran
Race: Red Guard
Gender: Female
Class: Mercenary
Skills:
One handed
Block
Two Handed
Speciality:
Getting Lost
Notes: A fiery young woman from Hammerfell in search of worthy opponents to challenge. After being soundly defeated by almost every member of the group, she decided to that she will continue to follow them until she can defeat them. However as her ability to get lost is on a near Godly level, she can never keep up with them and usually just meets them on the road or in a city by chance.
Krushash Hard Scale
Race: Argonian
Gender: Male
Class: Monk (?)
Skills:
Illusion
Lockpick
Speciality:
Determination / Stubbornness
Notes: A young Argonian who fancies himself as a Priest of Mara though most Priests would reject that claim. Wearing an amulet of Mara, Krushash constantly looks for 'partners' though most, if not all, turn him down. Envies the Dragonborn a whole lot. Though he is constantly asking people to marry him (be they male or female), he swore his one true love to be Sylvian. Due to her level of naivety, she mainly assumes he is being kind and treats him like a friend, much to his chagrin and to the amusement of the others.
Prefect Romulus Maximus Tyrannius
Race: Imperial
Gender: Male
Class: Legion Prefect
Skills:
Heavy Armour
One Handed
Block
Speciality:
Unwavering Loyalty
Notes: A young Prefect sent to Skyrim from the Citadel to reinforce the Legion's efforts to 'quell' the rebellion. Talented and brave, Prefect Romulus symbolizes what every Legion soldier must strive to be although his determination and near obnoxious level of loyalty to the Empire are rather nauseating. Holds a strong rivalry with the Stormcloak Lieutenant, Sigrud Wintershield. Though constantly strives to challenge Sigrud in battle, has never actually intended to kill her.
Lieutenant Sigrud Wintershield
Race: Nord
Gender: Female
Class: Stormcloak Lieutenant
Skills:
Heavy Armour
Two Handed
Speciality:
Undying determination
Notes: A young Lieutenant under the Stormcloak rebel Army. Her prowess on the battlefield won her many commendations and earned her place as one of Ulfric Stormcloak's top Lieutenants. She proudly preaches the freedom of the Nords and isn't afraid to butt heads with anyone who doesn't agree with her. Holds a strong rivalry with the Legion Prefect, Romulus Maximus Tyrannius. Though constantly strives to challenge Tyrannius in battle, has never actually intended to kill him.
Sitting by the camp fire, he warmed his hands against the embers, feeling slightly rejuvenated despite the harsh winds and winter snow. He looked up as a new comer approached the fire and joined him by sitting down next to him. Was the scouting done already? Or was it time to change guard duties? He did not really know nor did he actually bother to think too deeply into it. With the sky covered with the thick clouds of snow, he wondered when would the Sun show itself again? Or would he be forced to warm himself only through more camp fires throughout this journey?
More newcomers came and joined him around the camp fire, each and every one of them different from the next. It was to be expected. They had all come together from very different backgrounds, all coming together for no rhyme nor reason. They did not hold similar goals, or interest. Yet there was something mysterious that bound them all together like this. The slight crackle of the fire signalled him to pick up a thick stick and poked the embers, stoking the flames to keep it alive.
"Hey, Mage, can't you use a fire spell or something?"
One of the newcomers asked with his dead-like-tone. The smallest of the group turned to him and raised her hand, showing a rather offensive finger at the one who asked the question with a tiny flame dancing at the tip of her finger.
"Why don't I burn you to a crisp, you damn thief. If it weren't for you trying to steal from that inn keeper's stores, we wouldn't be out here in the damn cold in the first place!"
The thief in question raised his hands in defence.
"Hey, I can't help myself if I see something so valuable before my eyes."
The thief smirked, his eyes slowing travelling downwards-
"Keep your damn hands to yourself!"
"Well, my hands aren't doing anything, and yours doesn't have much to look at anyway."
"Die."
While the two started to duke it out (though it was more like a chase involving knives and fire balls), he looked to the others around the camp fire. The silent man sitting by the fire across from him, slowly sharpening his sword with a rock and constantly inspecting it. The sleeping woman who rested her head against a boulder and just dozed off without missing a heart beat. And finally, pulling her hood back, the young elf who sat beside him. To call her an elf would be slightly misleading as she is unlike any elf he had seen before. That would be a given since she wasn't from Tamriel in the first place.
Her facial features lacked the sharpness of the Elves common in Tamriel, being rounder like a Breton's, her eyes sharing that's of an Imperial but her ears were a dead give-away. Being longer and thinner than other elves, her ears seemed to hold some special characteristic of being able to pick up sound from extremely far away. With her blonde silky long hair and clear blue eyes, she was quite the looker by almost all standards across the land. Unfortunately she did not seem understand some things in this foreign land. And that led to several weird occurrences. In particular, her dressing. But that can be talked about at a later date. She turned to him, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.
"Is there something you need?"
She asked somewhat eagerly. He shook his head in a simple gesture of reply. She looked back to the fire with a slightly disappointed look on her face. Well, there would be days like this as well, doing nothing, camping out in the wilderness, the occasional bandit encounter and everything in between. But he had to wonder, how exactly did it all come down to this? This strange gathering of people from all over Skyrim. How and why did they come together and venture forth as a group like this? They were all so different, led different lives and yet still they had been able to find one another and as a group, set off in search of adventure. Or something more. The elf suddenly looked up, her ears slightly twitching. She jumped to her feet, alerting the others as she drew her bow.
"It's coming."
She said firmly as a loud thunderous roar echoed from the distance. All knew what that was and drew their weapons in preparation for what was to come. The steel swordsman of the Companions, Sigfrid, drew his large great sword. The small sized Mage of the college, Thayran, clenched her fists as flames enveloped them. The slightly burnt thief of the Guild, Kevex, drew his twin daggers. Waking up groggily, the assassin of the brotherhood, Alexia, drew her sword laced with poison. The elf from a foreign land, Sylvian, notched her arrow and drew her bow. As for himself, he drew his sword and readied his shield. It wasn't long before it came. Bursting through the clouds with its large scaled wings, the giant beast roared out, causing the entire ground the shake as it flew dangerously low over head.
"This one doesn't seem friendly."
"And since when were they ever?"
"Watch out! Here it comes!"
"Dragon!"