This is an AU I've been thinking about for a while now.
The premise idea came about from wondering what the world would be like if there were no humans, if everyone was Wesen- what would things be like? How different would things be? For society and for Nick?
I had a lot of fun writing this. Hope you have as much fun reading it.
When Nick was four, his best friend had feathers.
She was his first friend, too. His aunt had learned that he didn't play with the other kids, so she brought him and introduced him to her friend's family. And all of them had feathers and beaks and intense, sharp eyes, and he met Lottie. And Lottie was imperious and always got what she wanted, but that meant that it didn't matter that he didn't know how to play like she did, because she just grabbed him by the hand and dragged him with her anyways. And she didn't mind instructing him on what he was doing wrong when he told her he didn't know how to play a game she wanted to.
x
When Nick and Lottie were six, they went to school together.
It seemed like some of the children just wanted to pick on him, and never gave him a chance. But Lottie always stood up for him, and shot down the mean ones, and even pecked at them with her sharp little beak if they gave her the excuse.
It seemed like some of the children just wanted to pick on everyone. There were others, ones that Lottie impatiently told him were prey which meant they were born victims, whatever that meant. And the mean ones picked on them a lot, too.
Nick thought that meant he was prey, too. And that he should have been able to get along with them.
But none of them would even look at him.
When he finally asked his homeroom teacher why Lottie was the only person who liked him, Mr. Cauler looked down at him with sad cherry red eyes and told him that he was a very sweet boy, and that maybe he should ask his parents.
When Nick tried, they told him they would tell him when he was older.
One day, there was a boy with long ears and soft white fur and a twitchy little nose, and he was crying in the corner of the playground as a bunch of kids with scales kicked a ball at the wall just above his head. Whenever he tried to run and escape, they would kick it right into his path, sometimes hitting him head-on.
The boy's fur was so perfectly pretty and white that when the ball hit the boy's nose, and blood started to stain that fur, it made Nick feel like he was going to throw up.
He looked at the mean children and he wanted to hit them. To punch and kick and bite and tear until they all had bloody noses, until they all cowered in the corner. He wanted to stand over them and laugh at them and spit on them until they apologized and crawled away crying.
A few seconds later, his heart broke. What was he thinking?
You didn't hurt others, even if they were cruel and stupid. Those were bad thoughts. He shouldn't want to do that.
And when you did something bad, you were supposed to be punished for it.
He had walked forward and planted himself between the scaly kids and the poor boy. And when they kept kicking the ball at him, screaming at Nick, he just wrapped himself around the boy with the white fur so that all the mean ones could hit was his back, and he tolerated it. He tolerated it until he heard the shouts of adults, and the scaly kids scattering.
The boy told Nick that his name was Raleigh, and Nick told Raleigh that his name was Nick, and they smiled at eachother and talked in the nurse's office until Lottie ran in and hugged Nick and told him she'd heard what happened and that he was stupid, and he must have hurt more than he thought he did, because he just started laughing.
When Raleigh's parents came to pick him up, he introduced Nick to them and told them- with intense seriousness- that Nick had saved his life. And Nick remembered his manners and stood up, even though he hurt, and bowed to say hello. And when his own parents arrived to take him home, everyone's parents talked for a long time in the principal's office, so he and Raleigh and Lottie doodled together until they came back out and it was time to leave.
On the drive home, his dad asked him if he wanted to play with Raleigh again. And Nick was so excited that he almost hurt his back worse by bouncing in his seat.
That weekend, Raleigh's parents came to visit Lottie's. And Nick got to stay over and play with his new friend, and they all had dinner together, and Nick and Lottie both fell asleep on the new boy's fuzzy shoulders, and Raleigh was smiling so much it looked like his cheeks were kind of stuck like that.
x
When Nick was eight, his parents went on a business trip.
They left him in his aunt Marie's care, which meant that he practically got to stay with Lottie, because Marie was all kissy with one of her uncles. And because Raleigh's family had moved into a house on the same block, they got to play together every day, and Nick had never been happier.
One day at school, though, someone drew a weird thing on his desk with big black sharpie. When the teacher saw it, he got really angry, and Nick wound up in the principal's office even though he hadn't done anything wrong. And the principal asked him a lot of things- he was a lot nicer than anyone else seemed to think he was. He wanted to know how Nick was doing in school, and whether or not he liked it there, and what his favorite class was, and how he got along with his friends, and Nick happily told him about all the fun things he was doing and how much he loved art class and how he was going to be friends with Raleigh and Lottie forever. And the man was smiling, but it was kind of sad, just like all the adults who looked at him.
When Nick asked what the symbol was that someone had drawn on his desk, the Principal adjusted his hooves and asked what Nick thought it meant. And Nick told him, honestly, that a lot of people didn't like to tell him things because they thought he was too young, and that he knew the teachers all knew- and that the Principal did, too. He knew it was someone trying to bully him again, because if one of his friends had wanted to leave him a picture, they would have done it on paper and hidden it in his desk, not done it on top. And the fact that he was in the man's office right now meant that it was something pretty bad, since it hadn't been left up to the teacher to handle.
The Principal told him he was a very clever boy. Nick shrugged and said that when nobody talks to you, you learn to pay more attention to what they don't say than what they do.
When aunt Marie came to pick him up, she looked scary, and nobody would look at her. But the Principal gave him a piece of candy and told him that being clever would help him a lot, and Nick thanked him because he seemed like he didn't hate Nick at all. When he went home, he drew a picture of the symbol.
He asked during dinner. It seemed like the best time to do it, because that meant none of the adults could just walk out on him. He waited until everyone was served and just starting to eat, and when Lottie's mom asked him how school had been, he asked her what the symbol meant.
Everyone at dinner had stopped eating except for Lottie. When her mom finally found her voice again, she sounded kind of scared when she asked where Nick had seen that. Lottie told everyone that someone had snuck into the class before it started and drawn it on Nick's desk, and everyone freaked out and Nick got the day off.
When Aunt Marie reached over and took away his picture, Nick was still confused. But when she tore it up, Nick's heart was in his throat.
Everyone was lying to him and they wouldn't even tell him what was wrong and his aunt had torn up his picture she had torn up his picture she had torn it up-
He wanted to take all of her precious photos and tear them up and smash all their glass. He wanted to take every page out of her precious books and burn them.
Nick was so angry it scared him.
He didn't even ask to be excused. He slipped out of his chair and ran out the door.
He didn't know where he was running to. Out. Away. Somewhere else. Not there.
He had to get away. He was still so angry at her, he didn't want to look at her.
He kept running until he was lost, and cold, and he remembered that he wasn't wearing any shoes because his feet hurt and they had all sorts of little pebbles and twigs that had tried to stab him. They were muddy and sore, and he remembered that he hadn't eaten anything, and he was completely and totally lost. There were tears in his eyes, even though he wasn't sad- it was like he'd been crying because he was so angry.
When he tried to trace his path back- thinking that maybe he could at least find Raleigh's house- he couldn't even figure out which direction he had come from. Finally, when he turned a corner, there were lots of lights and people down one of the streets, so he wandered down it, thinking maybe it would wind up looking familiar.
A lot of people stared at him as he walked past. Nick hated feeling self-conscious, but he knew he must have looked pathetic, with his bare feet and his muddy pants and the tear trails down his cheeks.
A man finally stopped him. He had lots of thick black fur and big black eyes, and he was wearing a policeman's uniform. When he asked Nick if he was okay, and where his parents were, Nick could barely find his voice. But finally, he told the man that he was lost, and the policeman picked him up and carried him piggy-back so that his feet would get a break, and took him back to the police station.
There were lots of people there, all busy and bustling around, and when the man gave him a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate and told Nick that his name was Mr. Silberman, Nick managed to smile. Mr. Silberman asked why he was outside alone so late, and Nick admitted that he ran away, and when he asked why he'd done that, Nick said that his aunt was being mean to him, and he just ran out the door, but when he finally decided to come back, he already didn't know where he was.
Mr. Silberman was nice, and he showed Nick around the station and introduced him to the rest of his team. And one of the guys had pizza, and gave Nick a slice, and they washed up his feet and bandaged them.
His aunt showed up an hour later. He had loads of fun coloring until then, but when she walked through the door, he hid the pictures. What if she tried to rip them up again?
She knelt down in front of him and apologised for scaring him. And Nick mumbled that it was okay, and he shouldn't have run out. And she told him that he was right, he shouldn't have, but it was all okay now, and if he didn't do it again, then she would know he'd learned his lesson.
He said goodbye to all the nice police and when his aunt was talking to someone, he slipped back and gave the pictures he'd done to Mr. Silberman, because he didn't think he would rip them up. And Mr. Silberman gave him a hug, and Nick finally went home.
When he got back, he practically passed out on the couch, but he woke up when he heard Raleigh's parents come over. And when he heard Raleigh's mom crying, he managed to get up and stumble into the room to ask her where it hurt, because he could try and kiss it better if she wanted, and she just gathered him up into her fur and hugged him. And she rocked him there for long enough that he fell asleep in her arms.
x
When Nick was ten, he first heard the word Grimm.
It was in class. They were doing a research project in the library.
When he came across a mention of Woging, he was going to ask the teacher what it meant, but he had the resource at his fingertips. Why not just look it up?
When he did, he was kind of confused. According to the book he'd found it in, it seemed like people had one face and then another one when they got angry or scared. And their normal face looked just like his, but their other one was the one he was used to seeing. Did that mean all the people he saw were angry and scared all the time?
He asked Lottie about it, and in her usual imperious way, she told him all about it, how it worked, and everything. He listened, and when she was done, he told both of his friends that he saw them Woged all the time.
Raleigh tried to tell him that was impossible. Nick just shrugged it off, and asked why it was so impossible. And Raleigh got really quiet, and his eyes got really wide. And when Nick started to get worried, Raleigh asked if he'd ever Woged, himself.
Nick didn't even have to consider it. He shook his head. He hadn't even known what it was until just that moment.
Raleigh told him, right then and there. That the ones who couldn't Woge when they were little usually developed it later on in life, and they were only the strongest and rarest of all the races out there. That the older you were when your beast woke up, the more powerful you were. And that he'd only ever heard of one kind of rare and powerful person who saw everyone's secret faces all the time.
A Grimm.
Nick didn't even know the term. When he asked what it was, Lottie was watching him closely, and she told Raleigh that Grimms were myths, they were silly stories cooked up so parents could scare their kids into behaving. But then Raleigh pointed out how tentative both of their families were about Nick's parents, and Lottie finally admitted that it seemed like there had been a big fuss when she was little about his aunt and her uncle getting together, one that didn't make much sense to her at the time.
Nick managed to find a storybook on Grimms. And then another. And another.
The Grimms, the Grimms, who come in the night to slay the unwary. The Mad Grimms, to whom even the highest predator is nothing but prey. The black-hearted Grimms, who torture and kill without a second thought. The Grimms without empathy, or decency, or kindness. The Grimms who scorched and burned the land, who cut off heads and stuck them on spikes, who made homes for themselves among the ashes. The monstrous Grimms, the horrifying Grimms, the terrible, awful, insane Grimms.
Nick didn't hear when the teacher called everyone to pack up so they could head out to lunch. He stayed in the library, reading.
He didn't think it could possibly mean him- until he stumbled across the symbol he'd seen. It was a scythe, and it was the sign for The Reapers of the Grimms. People whose entire lives revolved around killing Grimms to try and save everyone from them.
Because Grimms were evil.
He felt the book he was reading fall out of his nerveless fingers- almost distantly, like he was miles away from his own hands.
Was he evil?
He didn't think he was. He didn't feel evil.
Were his parents evil? Was his aunt?
But- but they didn't seem bad, they were just... his family. They were just his family.
Sure, his aunt was kind of mean, and his parents could be kind of- intimidating- but that didn't mean they were evil. Right?
When he went home that night, he stayed up late, waiting for his parents to get home. He sat on their bed, waiting for them.
When his father walked through the door, Nick looked up at him, really looked. And when his mother followed in, asking Nick what was wrong, he turned to her and did the same.
For the first time, he was actually paying attention. And he saw the scars on his mom's face, and his dad's hands. He saw the way they walked, the way he'd seen predator parents stand together. How they never wore anything but all black, and when he looked into their eyes-
How had he missed it, all that time?
His parents... he could see it so easily, now that he knew what he was looking for. He'd watched so many cartoons and read so many comic books, and always gotten fed up with the heroes when they didn't recognize the bad guys in their too-obvious disguises.
But how own parents were the bad guys. And they barely even disguised themselves at all, and yet he hadn't seen it.
He was the son of the villains.
And even though they were the bad guys- that didn't mean they didn't love him, right? They were still his parents. He was still their son.
They were evil, but they still loved him.
Nick didn't tell them he knew.
He'd stood up and hugged them both and told them he'd just had a bad dream, that was all. And his dad sat with him as his mom got him some hot chocolate, and they all sat together and read a book, and Nick's heart hurt in his chest all day and all night.
When he got back to school, he finally knew what he needed to look up in order to learn more about himself. About his family.
He didn't check out any of the books- his parents had access to the records of what he took from the library at the end of the year, after all. He would just spend his lunch hour in the library, reading in the corner.
Reading made it easier to pretend that Lottie wasn't avoiding him. That she hadn't refused to meet his eyes since they'd first found out.
There were a lot of children's storybooks and novels and things that had Grimms as the bad guys, but there wasn't much actual information on them. They just all had these ominous, silent, dark-clad, towering figures who loomed in the background and terrified everyone else in the story.
It wasn't until he started reading history books that he started to get a better idea of what was real.
Throughout history, the Grimms had been behind some of the worst things to ever happen. The amount of blood on his ancestors hands was enough to drown him, and everyone else in the school, and everyone else in the whole city.
From what little factual information he could gather, apparently Grimms could see through the veil, which let them see everyone's true faces. But that seeing too much drove them insane, and while it wasn't inevitable for a Grimm to turn into a serial killer, those who didn't tended to wind up dead or in a mental asylum.
He wanted so badly to say that he wasn't evil. That it was just his family, just his parents, not him. He wasn't going to wind up that way at all.
But then he thought back, and remembered.
He remembered how mean he had wanted to be to all the children who had been tormenting Raleigh.
He remembered how angry he had gotten with aunt Marie when she had torn up his picture.
He remembered how cruel he had been, inside his head.
Those weren't the sorts of things a good person wanted to do.
When Raleigh cornered him in the library, he managed to keep it together just long enough to get himself to the gym changing room before breaking down crying.
His friend came in and sat against the wall beside him.
There on the cold tile floor, Nick told his friend that he didn't want to be evil. He didn't want to be a Grimm. He was scared, so scared, because one day he was going to go insane and want to kill his friends, and he never ever wanted anything bad to happen to them. He hadn't even told his parents because he'd been too afraid of how they would react. They were the villains. What if they were only pretending to be good so that he wouldn't know they weren't? What if when he confronted them, they no longer had any reason to go on pretending, and they would start asking him to kill people too?
He hated crying. He was ten- and he was a Grimm. He was supposed to be some kind of terrifying thing, but here he was on the floor crying.
Raleigh told him, right then and there, that when Nick had first met him- when he'd first gotten hurt to try and help Raleigh- he'd known right then and there that it didn't matter what Nick was. Because no matter what, there was no way he wasn't a good guy.
Even if he was a Grimm. Even if he might be evil later, that didn't mean he wasn't good now.
Raleigh refused to leave his side the rest of the day.
And the next day, when the two of them saw Lottie making friends with a cat-faced girl at another table at lunch, Raleigh pulled him away so they could sit under a tree outside and enjoy the sun instead of having to watch her abandoning them.