Naraku stared at the hot pieces of human, half-demon, and mini demon from the confines of a nearby bush, and nearly lost his balance, getting lost in some of his fantasies (Don't worry, we won't be touching on that, even with the Tetsuiga.). Suddenly, he felt an urge. A strong urge. He didn't know what was controlling him, but it forced him to…
"Hit that note inna di middle, play with it a little." He sang, leaping from the bushes to his prey. Standing in front of Shippo, he gave him a wink and, what he thought, was a suggestive shimmy before sauntering over to Miroku and tugging on his monk robes to pull him closer and then proceeded to drop it like it was hot.
"Oh God," Miroku whimpered, "Why me?"
"Kagome, help me PLEASE!" Shippo cried from the fetal position on the ground.
Naraku ignored them, and appeared behind Inuyasha. He then began to lewdly thrust his hips to the beat only he could hear.
"Whoop, Whoop, when you run come along, Cuz you know you're the talk of the town yeah!"
Inuyasha's eyes started to twitch rhythmically as he slowly removed the Tetsuiga from its sheath.
"IRON REAPER SOUL STEALER!"
As the dust settled, they were all disappointed to see that there was no beaten, bloody, or mangled body for them to dance upon.
"Dammit! I'm scarred for life!" Inuyasha growled angrily, eyes still twitching.
"You? Poor Shippo's eyes are still glazed over and he won't move." Kagome said, trying to shake Shippo out of his daze. "I don't any of us are going to want to keep moving tonight, let's make camp here."
Nobody disagreed with her, Inuyasha too caught up in murderous thoughts, and Sango was comforting a distraught Miroku who kept muttering, "He already has my hands, now he wants my body! When will it end?"
Kagome put a blanket over the catatonic demon, set up her sleeping bag and, after all of the perverted excitement, fell fast asleep.
DREAM
Miroku stood at the door to the bar, waiting to be let in by the bouncer, when three old, smelly men came up and were let in without comment. He sighed heavily, and walked away dejected.
"I'm through with standing in line
To bars I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be"
"Tell me what you want." Kaede sang lowly from a darkened bench with a newspaper covering her face.
Miroku looked around himself, and not finding the person who had just cut in continued to walk and sing.
"I want a brand new shack
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can kill demons in
And a king's hot spring big enough
For twenty plus me
"Yeah, so what you need." Kaede sang again from a nearby tree branch.
By now, Miroku knew that someone was following him, and began to run home. Kaede sighed, and tried to find someone else to stalk…
Kagome and Sango walked around the village, looking at all the beautiful clothing that they couldn't afford. After about an hour of this depression, they grabbed their donkey and headed home. Kagome sighed, and subconsciously started singing.
"I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet"
"Been there, done that." Kaede said passing by, dreamily walking by reminiscing and not noticing the disgusted looks she got.
"I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Ayumi and X-Japan
Is fine for me"
"So how you gonna do it?" Kaede asked. She didn't want her best donkey to be part of any kind of criminal activity that these two might get up to. Sango cut in, saving Kagome from the old lady's suspicion.
"I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name"
Just as she was about to continue, Kouga jumped down from a nearby branch and cut in, earning himself a dirty glare from Sango.
"Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
And live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the shards come cheap
We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good grave diggers gonna wind up there
Every Shinto priestess with her jet-black hair
And well,
Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star
Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star"
They had finally reached their house, and once Inuyasha saw Kouga leering at Kagome once again, it set off an epic battle. Seeing that Inuyasha was distracted, Shippo began to sing his true feelings, glaring at Inuyasha the whole while.
"I wanna be great like Sesshy without the tassels
Hire eight bodyguards who love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free
I'll have a cheesy ramen haha!"
Unfortunately for Shippo, Inuyasha got rid of Kouga quickly and had heard him singing and pounced on him as soon as he finished singing.
Overhead, Sesshoumaru and Jaken were flying on Uhn and Ahn when Jaken caught the same bug that seemed to be infecting the rest of the village.
"I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to Kikyo's mansion
Gonna date a demon who loves to blow Master's money for me"
Sesshoumaru sighed heavily before nonchalantly throwing Jaken off, leaving him to fall to his death, and flying away.
Meanwhile, Sango saw her opportunity to finally get her big chance to prove she was a star and once again began to sing.
"I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name"
However, Miroku had just arrived in time to cut in on Sango and sang the chorus not knowing the danger hew was in.
"Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
Live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the shards come cheap
We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good grave diggers gonna wind up there
Every Shinto priestess with her jet-black hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and Today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a weapons maker on speed dial
Well, hey, hey I wanna be a rock star"
Sango let out a fierce battle cry and began to beat the poor monk within an inch of his life. Finally, she stopped, took a rest and began again.
"I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the peasants
Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser
Get washed up singers writing all my songs
Lip synch 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong"
Inuyasha knew that his favorite part was coming up again and this was his last chance to sing it.
" Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars
Live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the shards come cheap
We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good grave diggers gonna wind up there
Every Shinto priestess with her jet-black hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and Today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a weapons maker on speed dial"
Kagome got annoyed at Inuyasha singing about Kikyo and gave him a "SIT BOY!" Sango took this opportunity to beat Inuyasha until he was unconscious too, then both she and Kagome sang the end.
"Well, hey, hey I wanna be a rock star
Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star!"