Hey guys, this is my new story Stitches. Please be forewarned it will be rough, this is not a fluff, happy story. There is a lot of pain, both mentally and physically. There is traumatic events. If you can't handle tough subject matter please don't read it.

I will most likely switch POV every other chapter from Bella to Edward, I will let you know if it deviates.

summary

Title: Stitches

Rating: M

Bella Swan runs away from Phoenix seeking refuge with her father in Forks. She is haunted by a traumatic event and the heartbreaking aftermath. Her scars are physical and emotional. Some scars never heal, or can they? Edward is lost in the daze of high school. He is popular, and to everybody that doesn't know him he seems to be a cold womanizer, who is only interested in his own needs. When he comes in contact with the new girl who is desperately trying to be invisible, will he come out of his haze in time to save her from the demons that haunt her? Even the demons that aren't in her head? Will Bella be able to allow herself to heal both on the inside and the outside? Or will her fear take over her life, or even end it? All human. There will be serious subject matter ( Rape, assault, physical and mental trauma that is very severe.) I promise it will be a good all around story, and I will try to update often so that the traumatic stuff doesn't consume the whole story.

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Bella POV

I laid on the cool tile floor, letting all of the feelings around me set in. I could feel the icy hard texture of the tile under my butt, and the warm breeze from the open window. I could hear the hum of the all too familiar air conditioning unit. All of this paled to what I was really feeling.

All I could feel was pain, searing unbearable pain. I looked across the room and could see the scars, the horribly painful scars. I quickly pulled my shirt down to hide them. The pain, it was too much, the physical pain from the wounds inflicted, and the mental pain. I closed my eyes and remembered the terror, and the panic. Then all that was left was pain. He was supposed to be there for me..always.

I couldn't take it any longer. His words were ringing in my ears, and the pain was too much. My skin began to tingle, and the ghost of their touch brought back the terror and the panic I needed it all to stop, I couldn't do it any longer. I knew their words were true. I was worthless, broken, and tainted, nobody would ever love me. NOBODY. Everybody would be better off without me, and my shame.

I felt the cold metal slip effortlessly through my skin, and then there was the warmth. The warmth as I felt the pain slip away. I closed my eyes and went willingly into the darkness. The dark was suffocating, but at least there was no pain. It was finally over, my pain, their hate, his anger, and the danger, it was all over.

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There was a faint glow in my mind. I heard soft rustling noises, and beeping. I took a deep breath, and tried to stretch. I couldn't move my arms, why can't I move my arms? Then I remembered. I wanted the pain to stop, and I stopped it. This must be the punishment for all my sins especially my final one.

I tried one last time in vain to move my arms. Then I heard a familiar voice, which confused me.

"Bella, Oh Bella!"

If I was dead, and if I was in hell why could I hear my mother sobbing my name? I forced my eyes open and looked around. The ceiling was all white with a plethora of florescent bulbs blinding me from above. The walls were green, an all to familiar green. I then knew that I wasn't dead, I was in the hospital. Somebody must have found me in time. That truly was my punishment, to keep living the life that haunted me.

I looked over to my side. "Mom?" I barely managed to croak out. She threw her head onto my chest and held me close sobbing incoherently.

"Oh Bella, I am so happy you are alright.....Why? Why Bella? Why would you do something so selfish?" She was screaming as tears streamed from her eyes, and snot choked off her words. Her eyes were puffy and red with dark circles around them.

I didn't know what to say. She was right though, it was selfish. I wasn't thinking of her, Phil, or Charlie. I was only thinking about them, and him of course. "I just wanted the pain to stop, I couldn't take it anymore." I whispered with shame thick in my voice. "I'm sorry mom I should have thought about the few people who do care, but the pain..it was too much."

She placed her elbows on the edge of the bed and placed her chin in her hands. "Why didn't you tell me? I knew you were still hurting, but I didn't know it was bad enough to make you...try..to..." She couldn't finish and a fresh wave of tears came.

I don't know why I didn't tell her or Phil about all of it. They knew about the physical pain, and some of the emotional pain, I never told them what he had said, and what others had said. Those words were the cause of my true pain. My parents had been working so hard on fixing what the could see, but I hid what they couldn't. It was really my own fault. I was just afraid if they knew they would think the same way...they would hate me too.

I sighed deeply and tried to sit up, but then I realized I was in restraints. I looked questioningly toward my mom. She sighed.

"It is just policy with attempted suicides, they will untie you once you talk to a psychiatrist, and they say it is ok. I will let them know you are awake." She wiped her eyes and walked out.

I knew what I had done was wrong, but I was afraid that I wouldn't have a choice if all of this continued the way it had the past four months. I just can't take the pain that was already there with the pain I would gain everyday seeing his eyes filled with hate and disgust, and hearing the words of everybody around me. That is what drove me to try and take my life in my small bathroom in Phoenix. I had to think of something, or I would end up back here, dead, or locked up somewhere.

"Hello Ms. Francis, how are you feeling?" I looked and saw a short bald man wearing a white coat, and bifocals.

"I am ok, and it is Swan, my last name is Swan." I said while I looked behind the arrogant looking doctor and saw my dad Charlie smile slightly when I said that. Renee had decided to make me use her maiden name of Francis after she left Charlie. She only did it to spite him. Once I was old enough to figure it out I started going by Swan even though I was registered in everything under Francis.

"Ok, Ms. Swan if I untie you will you attempt to harm yourself or others?" His tone of voice was starting to piss me off. Like he was so much better than me.

"I won't hurt anybody." I growled in a whisper. I hoped I didn't have to spend too much time with this quack of a head doctor.

They undid the restraints and I slowly sat up, I felt dizzy, and queasy. I righted myself, and a familiar sharp pain ripped through my body. I grabbed at my torso and gasped. My parents looked concerned but they all knew that this was not a new pain. I had it for the past four months, and it wasn't getting better

Dr. Dickweed left without saying anything else. I looked at the three people who truly loved me. I felt overwhelmed with guilt from the pain and terror I must have caused them. They had been through so much with me as it was.

"I am so sorry...I was hurting..I should have told you.." I cried as the three of them circled me and held me until the sobs stopped. "I need you to know, it wasn't just from what you know about...there is more." I slowly told them the details of my added pain, and how that traumatic event four months ago was used against me like a weapon everyday.

It hurt to see the pain in their eyes over what I had told them. I begged them to not make me go back to that horrible school. I wouldn't survive it even if he wasn't there reminding me of everything I had lost.

"Honey, I don't know what we can do. There isn't any schools close enough to the house for you to get to." Was Renee's answer to my plea. I love my mom, but sometimes I felt as though she was waiting for me to just wake up and be normal again. That was never going to happen. I wasn't normal, and never could be not after..never.

I started crying as I saw it in her eyes that she would force me to return to that hell, the place that was killing me slowly everyday. I looked around the room at Phil, and Charlie begging with sheer panic in my eyes.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, you...well you could come live with me...if you..want to." He said nervously. I hated Forks, Washington the sleepy little town where Charlie was the chief of police. But I hated being here where the memories, the terror, and the pain was around every corner more so. I looked hopefully at my mom and Phil. They exchanged worried glances, but I saw it in their faces. They needed the break as much as I did.

"Well, that's settled then. I will move in with Ch...Dad as soon as I am released from here." I said in a tone leaving nothing up for discussion.

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As I stared up at the small building that would now be my school I shivered. It was October and it felt more like December, but then again I was used to Phoenix weather. HOT HOT HOT. The dreary gray building looked drab in the surrounding grey of the misty weather.

I looked at the rain as a source of my cleansing. I know some people would consider my coming here a form of running away, but it was a clean start for me. I still felt the pain, but it didn't follow me around in this unfamilar place. It was dulled just like everything else here was dulled by the rain.

I finally got to be Bella Swan. I didn't have to pretend to be somebody else, and all I wanted was to finish the next two years of school invisibly. I wanted to hide, I didn't want to make friends, be social, be normal. I wanted to finish school, and start my life fresh. Small towns are a good place to hide, and that is all I wanted.

If I was truly honest with myself I wanted to hide because I was afraid that if I got to know people or they got to know me, that all of my misery would come back full strength. It was already going to be hard enough to avoid the one thing I feared most...being touched.

Every time somebody that wasn't one of my parents touched me I would come undone, that night would replay itself, and the consequences were disastrous. I knew that all I had to do was be unfriendly, and then I would be left alone quickly.

I knew that my being that way would start the talk, small towns are notorious for that, but I could handle that kind of talk, it was the other kind that would kill me. I dressed drab and wore my hair down so that I could withdraw into it.

I went to the office and checked in. The ladies in the office were warm and friendly and I pulled off the fake nice but quiet routine. They gave me a map, and explained where each of my classes were, and where the cafeteria was. I trudged off in the rain towards my first class, Junior English.

My first three classes went by with little incidence. The teachers were kind and didn't introduce me, and I found seats in the back off all the rooms to avoid the stares I knew would come my way. A few people tried to talk to me. I kept my answers short, and made sure my tone was not open and friendly. By lunch time I had managed to discourage most of the admirers.

I went through the lunch line keeping my gaze to the floor so people wouldn't be tempted to talk to me. I retrieved my lunch, and went and sat at an empty table in a corner near the exit. I sat where I could see everything that was going on. People were interesting to watch.

I walked to the trash can to throw away the remainder of my lunch, and that was when it happened. I hit something hard, and was knocked backwards falling on my ass, and before I could protest I was pulled up by strong arms. The panic started rising as those horrible memories started to flood my mind, that was all it took the touch of another. Then I looked up and saw him, the one who knocked me over and pulled me up, his green eyes were like nothing I had seen before. The shock of his eyes pushed the memories away.

"Sorry, are you ok?" He said in an embarrassed whisper.

"Yeah fine." I said while I ducked into my hair, and walked quickly from the room.

I hid in the girls bathroom until the bell ending lunch rang. All I could think about was those eyes. I could still feel the tingle where he touched me, and the memories were on the verge, but I fought them off. I knew once I was alone tonight the terror would take me. I just prayed it wouldn't be as bad as the last time.

I washed my face and went to my next class. I walked in and handed my paper to the teacher. Mr. Mason then told me to take the empty seat next to Edward. I turned, and there he was, the boy with the green eyes next to the only empty seat in the class. I sighed and went and sat down. I did everything I could to not look at the person sitting next to me, and as luck would have it he was too wrapped up in the two girls in front of us to bother me.

During the lecture I would peek at him through the veil of my hair. He was good looking, ok extremely good looking. He seemed to be cocky, the typical hot guy. When the class ended the two girls in front of us grabbed both of his hands and walked out with him. Even thought he looked perfect he was flawed, and seriously what kind of girls share a guy like that?

I walked behind them on my way to the gym, they stopped and he kissed the strawberry blonde girl on the lips, and she broke free of him to walk into the gym. Then him and the blonde girl snuggled closer and walked off toward the main buildings. That just made me shiver in disgust. Gross.

I didn't have to dress out in gym thank God. I needed to figure out how to do that so that nobody would see my hideous scars. I knew if those were seen then people would get curious and I didn't want them to know, that was why I came here to run from my past.

I left school, and got to Charlie's well my house, and did my homework, and finished unpacking. About an hour before Charlie was supposed to get home I started making dinner. I made my specialty chicken alfredo with sundried tomatoes. Just as I was finishing the garlic bread I heard the door bang shut.

"Bells, honey you home?" Charlie called as he took off his boots and gunbelt.

"Yeah, dad I am in here. Dinner is almost ready." I called out.

We ate dinner in silence, occasionally he would ask how my day was. I told him it was fine. He always looked so worried. He studied my face to make sure that I wasn't hiding my pain from him. I decided to tell him about my run in with Edward and how it almost brought on a panic attack. He seemed relieved that I didn't actually break down, and now that I thought about it, it was the first time somebody that wasn't family touched me and I didn't lose it.

After dinner, I showered. The scars were the constant reminder and I tried to ignore them and shower quickly. I went and laid in my bed, and it came just like I knew it would. The memories of the most awful night of my life, and they were followed by his words. "I don't want you anymore, who would want you after that, your used, get away from me." The pain washed over me like waves in the ocean, and I cried. I let the sobs take me over until they led to an exhausted sleep.

It had been one day, and I only lost it when I went to bed, this was a major improvement, and I was slightly hopeful that running from my pain would actually work. That maybe my soul could be repaired. One day at a time, one stitch at a time.