Memories aren't a two faced mirror
As the grainy sand touched my feet I realized what I had done. I stepped to the shore, every step a breathed cry of agony.
As I watched I respired the smell the waves left after withdrawing from my toes.
The sea started blurring, thus his face appeared as the fuzzy sea turned into our house. His look locked at the wall in front of him, he whispered his decision. A whisper so strong and blunt, I couldn't stand it, not in any way, neither with my soul, nor with my body.
The words clung through the alley of trees outside, swaying in the wind. I lifted myself up looking at his blurred figure and turned away. It only needed a few steps for me to exit the room and never see him again. Never to touch, never to smell the cigarettes, never to hear his voice. Never – it echoed in my ears making my shaking legs heavy as bleach. Reaching for the handle I felt it cut open my palm like a knife, the blood dripping from my eyes clinging to the sound of the trees outside.
He tried to hold me back but even he wasn't strong enough. He pleaded to me. I think that was the first time I ever saw him cry. It would have broken my heart – if it had been whole at that time. He tried to persuade me it was out of a whim, a whim of what? A whim of desperateness, a two faced whim? If he can make decisions, I can too.
One more step, out of the room the hallway was flooded. One more step into the swirl of the flood.
I felt the water surrounding me mellow, drifting me off to another unknown blurry and even frightening part of this life. This miserable dark life.
And for this one moment, I felt as happy as I would have been if the word 'never' didn't exist.
'I always thought love was more pink and bright.'
'You're certainly mistaken. It is dark, dark Love.
Memories just aren't a two faced mirror, Usagi-san.