Heaven was having a huge party. Everyone was there.
Joseph, God, and Mary were in the Jacuzzi, and Bob Marley was on sausage duty, cooking up a mean feed for everyone on the Barbie. Jesus was getting bored, watching Bob cook the sausages, and decided to go and join all three of his parents in the Jacuzzi.
"Bob, don't burn the saussies, ow." Jesus told him, and marched off to the Jacuzzi.
"Jesus, it's about time you joined your dads and me." Mary smiled. "We have a story to tell you. It's about your birth." Jesus wasn't ready to hear this story, but he sat there anyway. They explained how Jesus was created. God got Mary pregnant, and Joseph raised him. Pretty simple really. Of course, God liked to elaborate.
When Jesus got out of the pool, he heelied over to Bob.
"Oh! Bob ow, you burned the saussies, ow!" Jesus clapped his hand to his forehead.
"No, mon, they just crisp."
"Come on, Bob…" Suddenly, the phone rang.
"Yo, wazzup, Uncle Luce?" It was a call from downstairs. In hell. It was Jesus' uncle Lucifer calling, or the commonfolk call him: Satan.
"Yo, Jay-dog. I need your help. I've got this chick. She's a bit of a handful, she's all up in my grill after that D, you get what I'm sayin, yo? A lil bird told me you needa get laid."
"Awww, sweet deal, ow. I'll ask the dads if I can go to yo' crib this weekend."
"I'mma go onto earth for a while. Gotta go get me some fresh meat." By that, Jesus knew his uncle meant he had to go and capture some souls from planet earth. Everything was pretty relaxed at this point. Nobody really objected to anything. God and Satan got along, and they had reached a bit of a truce. Satan took some people, God took some people, and some people were left on the earth. It was kind of like a giant game of Sims.
"God, bro, can I go to Luce's this weekend, ow? He's gotta get to the humans this week. Needs someone to babysit his pad." He told his dad half the truth because God could tell if he was lying. So, he just omitted the part about getting laid.
"Bro, chill. Of course you can. Just be back on Sunday. You know how I feel about our Sunday morning piss-ups."
"Dad, we literally drink wine, and eat bread all day."
"Do you wanna go, or not son?" Jesus nodded his head, and packed a new robe in his cloud satchel.
"Laters, everyone. I'mma go to Luce's right now. Gotta take care of business."
"Don't forget Sunday, Jesus." Mary told him, calling from the Jacuzzi. He was going to have so much fun this week. What he got up to in hell was usually the highlight of his eternal existence, and this would be even better.
"I still can't believe you burned the saussies, Bob." God buried his face in his hands, and then decided he would deal to his Rasta-friend later on. Right now, they had to enjoy their Monday Barbie.
Jesus was so excited for his trip downstairs. He was going to be a bad guy for a week. This was the most exciting thing that happened to him in the last few years, since he was crucified. That was a terrible time, but looking back on it, it was all in good fun. Just like this weekend was going to be, and he couldn't wait until he descended in the form of a bright comet.