Ship Happens
Red vs Blue Fan-fiction - Freelancer Chronicles
Episode 2
Union Stew
Carolina wakes to the familiar annoying beep of her alarm before smacking the snooze and sitting up. She scratches her nose and ties her hair into the familiar pony tail. As she does, the loud speaker crackles into life and the Director's voice reverberates through the ship.
"All agents report to the briefing room immediately, I don't care if you are dressed or not when you get here." The intercom shuts off and Carolina stands, pulling a robe on and strolling out of her quarters with a yawn. As she passes the others rooms she can hear shuffling as the other freelancers scramble out of bed to get to the meeting. As she approaches the meeting room she notices the lack of troopers dressed in white that are usually running around an saluting.
Carolina strolls in to see she is the only person there other than the Director and Counsellor.
"It is nice to see at least one of my troops is present on time." States the Director cruelly.
"Thank you sir" replies Carolina standing up straight with a smug look.
"Well, I must say I am disappointed to see you dressed." Say a soft voice from behind her. Carolina spins round to see York standing there with three cups of coffee, he hands her one. She tries to scowl as she takes it but ends up giving him a smirk.
"Agent York, is there something you do not understand about immediately?" Growls the Director.
"No, sir."
"Then how in the name of Burnie did you find time to make coffee?"
"Sorry sir." Says York and hands the Director the second cup of coffee. The Director scowls for a second before taking the coffee and a sip.
This time when he speaks his voice has lost it's venom.
"See that it doesn't happen again."
North, South, Wash and Wyoming stroll in a few minuets later.
"Where have you all been?" Barks the Director, glaring up at them. They all shrink back as the Director turns around and inserts a holo disk into the computer. A message plays out loud.
"Dear Director Leonard Church, I have been instructed to inform you of a multi-department wide strike that will be occurring three days from now, this effects the union that all of your crew excluding freelancers are currently a part of. This strike is expected to last approximately twenty four hours while we resolve these issues with the heads of union. You are reminded that during industrial action you have no control over the persons participating other than laws laid down by the UNSC. Thank you for our attention regarding this matter, yours sincerely Malcolm Hargrove, secretary to the chairman of the oversight sub committee." The Director turns around and looks at the freelancers.
"Because of this strike you will be split into teams of two and have to take over the responsibilities of these dissidents. Are there any questions?"
"Yeah." Begins York
"Do we get paid overtime for this?" North cuts in.
"Wait, you get paid overtime?"
"Yeah, time and a half over forty hours time and a half and a half over sixty."
"They told me I wasn't eligible for overtime!" The Director then cuts in sharply.
"Enough, yes you will be paid overtime if you are eligible. Now, Agents North and South Dakota you will be in charge of cleaning and maintenance." After a sigh from the twins the Director continues.
"Agents Carolina and Wyoming will be checking inventory, agents North and South Dakota will be on janitorial duties and agents York and Washington will be in the kitchens. I expect all of you to preform these tasks to he best of your ability. Is that understood?"
"Yes sir." Answer the freelancers.
Wyoming and Carolina walk into the armoury to find the floor littered with assault rifles, to the right of them an ammunition box splits sending shells all over the floor to join the guns. Carolina places her coffee on the table and picks up the paper work that unlike the rest of the room is stacked neatly.
"Evidently people are less inclined to do paperwork than fire a weapon." Comments Wyoming sarcastically before yawning loudly.
"Are you going to finish that coffee, Carolina?" Asks Wyoming.
"No, you can have it." She picks up the coffee cup and hands it to him. He takes It gratefully and drinks it.
"I must say, it's not a cup of tea, but you really do make a top notch coffee Carolina."
"Actually, York made me that."
"Ah I should have guessed, it must be nice to have somebody looking out for you. " Wyoming finishes the coffee. Rolling the last mouthful around before speaking.
"Mmm, if I'm not mistaken, rohypnol."
"What!"
"I'm just joking my dear, I'm getting, hazelnut, cream, touch of whiskey and... Something else."
"Whiskey! he gave a cup to the Director as well."
"Whiskey explains why York is always so, whimsical."
Carolina bends down to pick up an assault rifle. Wyoming puts a hand on his hip and looks at her ass.
"I see why York chases after you now."
"What do you mean "chases after" me? Oh and if you stare at my ass again I will have to break something of yours."
"Ha ha, don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"Noticed what."
"Wow, sometimes there is so much flirting going on between you two I can hear it from the other side of the ship." Carolina's face goes bright red with embarrassment so that it almost matches her hair.
"That's, just him messing around." She stutters but the doubt in her voice spurs Wyoming on.
"But you like it, don't you." He states, playing with her like she is a ball of string. This last comment earns him an assault rifle to the head.
"Dear Freelancers or Scabs (I forget which the Director is using to cover) you are going to be in this kitchen for one day. Enclosed is the menu. Wear protective chefs uniforms at all times and if you break or leave anything dirty I will find you and pull your eyes out and ram them down your neck so when I kick your ass into the next episode you can watch me do it. Ps: have fun."
York looks to Wash who has just finished reading the note after him.
"What's for breakfast?" Asks York, rubbing his hands together before pulling on the white chefs armour.
"It says "industrial porridge", "bacon rolls" and "berry surprise!""
"We are not serving berry surprise, Carolina tried it once and I had to give her half of my breakfast because it was so revolting." Says York recoiling with memories of that, thing. "We are going to make pancakes." Decides York out loud.
"But I don't want to be dead by tomorrow." Argues Wash.
"The note clearly states to we should "have fun". Besides it only says not to break anything or leave anything dirty." Delta flashes into existence beside York.
"I must agree with York, it does not specifically say we are not to deviate from the recipe and it is highly unlikely that the kitchen staff would go through with their threat." York smiles at his AI. "Plus, I have been lead to believe that York makes "mean" pancakes." Wash looks suddenly optimistic.
"Right, we need to make batter, Delta, find us something that would mix a viscous liquid."
"I must remind you two that you must prepare lunch and dinner as well." York sighs.
"One thing at a time D." Delta moves across the room before settling next to a huge mixer. "This has the capabilities you are looking for agent Washington." Says Delta. York walks to the storage room and returns with a sack of flour.
"Wash, get some eggs and power up the mixer. "
"I've waited my whole life to hear you say that." Jokes Wash.
Wyoming places the last rife onto the gun rack with a smile. A job well done, no matter how remedial is still rewarding. But now he realises how bored he is. "This manual labour should be done by peasants. Not a highly trained soldier of the UNSC." He thinks to himself. "Time to cause some mischief." Wyoming glances over his shoulder at Carolina, who is reading serial numbers off magnums and checking them back in. He decides that, for no reason he is going to see if he can mess with Carolina's head, and he knows instantly how to do it.
"I heard that York is trying to get close to, Agent Texas." He says calmly, his lips curling into a smile as he hears Carolina tense up. He stays facing away from her thinking his expression would give the game away.
"Who told you that?" Asks Carolina in a seemingly calm voice while her blood boils.
"Isn't it obvious, Wash of course, and you can just see it in his eyes." Carolina's hands clench into fists. A full grin spreads across Wyoming's face. He suppresses it and turns around holding a weapon sign out sheet.
"By the way, would you be a dear and go to the kitchens, it looks like Agent York forgot to turn in his magnum." Carolina storms out of the room and Wyoming runs out of the armoury shortly after Carolina, to the camera control room to watch his plot unfold. He watches as Carolina marches down the corridor. She pushed the door of the kitchen open and is greeted by a cloud of flour and York and Wash standing on ether side of the mixer covered in flour.
"York, there is a reason why I instructed you not to turn the industrial mixer to maximum." Says the disgruntled Delta through the haze. Wash sighs in a way that says he had told York as well. Carolina clears her throat loudly not loosing any of her frustration. York looks up and quickly formulates something in his head.
"Well, what did you expect? You get me excited alright." He smirks suggestively giving her a broad grin. Carolina is about to give him one of her half smiles, half scowls, then remembers she is supposed to be angry. She remembers Wyoming's words and a scowl creeps across her face. The grin disappears from Yorks face and is replaced with a look of confusion and self pity. She steps forward aggressively and focuses her words on York.
"According to the weapons check out sheet you still have a pistol you haven't returned." York now looks worried at her cold tone but complies anyway.
"Okay, I'll just get it from my room." He says keeping his eyes locked with hers looking for a change in expression, her face stays cold. They walk in silence towards his room, York can't bear it so he breaks the silence with something he thinks she will relate to.
"You notice that Tex doesn't have to do this." Wyoming lets out a laugh from the camera control room. Carolina's expression doesn't change.
"I heard you two are getting closer." She says spitting the sentence out like it's poison.
"Yeah, well I think I would be dead without her." Wyoming's jaw hits the floor, poor choice of words mate. Carolina has completely tensed up and is now fully glaring at the back of Yorks head as he enters his quarters and retrieves the pistol before handing it to Carolina.
"I'll see you later." He says with a grin, attempting to get a response. She remains cold as she speaks.
"You shouldn't smile like that, it makes you look like a retard." The grin vanishes from Yorks face and he looks genuinely hurt. Carolina turns and marches down the corridor with the pistol in her hand, leaving York looking like she just kicked him in the stomach. Wyoming frowns at the monitors. This wasn't as funny as he thought it would be, he was expecting to see York get his ass handed to him by Carolina and them to make up as they usually do. He walks back to the armoury to formulate a plan. Carolina comes into the room still fuming. Wyoming prepares to deliver his punch line.
"Yes, I think it's excellent that York and Texas are good friends but I..."
"More than good friends." She says bitterly, anger echoing through her words. Wyoming prepares to say the cheesiest thing he has ever said. He inhales deeply and tries to make it convincing.
"I highly doubt that, its obvious (stay strong Wyoming) he only has eyes for you."
Carolina is now the one that looks as though she has been punched in the stomach. She pictures Yorks face when she insulted his smile. Carolina takes a shaky intake of breath. She would have taken the rohypnol over these feelings.
Carolina wakes to the familiar buzzing of her alarm. She glares at he clock before bringing her arm over her head and smashing the alarm clock in half, watching the two peaces fall to the floor with a clatter. Carolina roles onto her back and rubs her flat stomach, after her outburst at York, she hadn't eaten that day and woke up starving. She specifically set her alarm clock earlier than normal to avoid York, and doesn't have a training session with him until tomorrow. Climbing out of bed, she slips out of her clothes and into the skintight under-armour suit before carefully putting her armour on tightening it more than usual in her frustration. Knowing York as well as she did, she half expected him to be outside her door when she slowly pulls it open and looks down the corridor towards his quarters. When she is confident that he isn't there she turns around and walks into Wash.
"What are you doing here?" She snarls, glaring at Wash, she is not really angry at him but with all of the things that are happening to her now, she can't help it.
"Watching you avoid York." He replies with a hint of nervousness in his voice but tries to be authoritative.
"I don't think it is any of your business who I avoid Agent Washington." She says in the same cold tone. She is aware that if she continues to push him away she will have no friends by lunchtime. To Wash's credit he doesn't back down even in the wake of the scariest female freelancer, who could easily kick his ass without breaking a sweat. Carolina pushes past him and starts to walk to the food hall, to her dismay Wash follows her. When they arrive she chooses something that looks mildly appealing and sits, Wash does the same and sits opposite. He swallows a mouthful of porridge before speaking in a disheartened tone.
"What are you doing Carolina?" He asks cryptically. She scowls at him and waits for him to continue.
"You know he would forgive you in an instant if you just talked to him." Deciding that he won't leave her alone unless she talks to him, she takes a slow intake of breath and responds.
"I don't think so, you didn't see his face when I..." Wash cuts in.
"In any other case I would agree with you but even though York is a good field agent, don't tell him I said that, he is kind of an idiot sometimes. He spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what he had done wrong." Wash's eyes suddenly dart to the entrance of the room. York has just walked in dressed in full body armour but without a helmet. He walks to the food counter to pick up his meal.
"Don't kill me." Says Wash as he gets up and runs from the room. Carolina looks confused for a second before realising that Wash has chained her leg to the table and run of with the keys.
"God damn it Wash!" She mutters causing York to turn around and look at her. She gives him a sheepish look as he walks towards her and sets his tray down on the table. He looks tired and his usual grin has been replaced with a permanently defeated look.
"Wash chained me to the table." She says in the same sheepish way. He bends down and examines the lock before pulling out a bobby pin and carefully inserting it into the lock, he starts to manipulates the mechanisms inside. Carolina bites her lip as she watches him work. Wyoming sits at he back of the food hall next to Maine. The are sharing a tub of popcorn and resting there feet on the table.
"Ah, sexual tension, my favourite kind of tension." Chimes Wyoming. Maine grunts in agreement. Carolina decides now is the time to do something.
"I don't really think your grin is stupid." She says apologetically, willing him to reply. The lock pops off the table but York quickly grabs it and attaches it to his own leg.
"Now, you are going to tell me what yesterday was all about." He says with a grin.
"And don't try running away." He points to the chain that holds them both together.
"Or we may have to get into some more intensive bondage."
THE END