Eggsy's at the end of his rope, he really is.
Harry is caught off guard when Eggsy asks to teach him dancing for an upcoming mission. Shouldn't he have been taught that during his training? "Yeah, well," Eggsy mutters and rubs his neck embarrassedly, "I may have been a bit preoccupied to really remember what was said in class."
The older man remembers then that he was in hospital due to the unfortunate incident withthe bomb in the university. He does not feel a glow at that, no he doesn't. It's just a bit warm in the corridor.
Eggsy really should have paid more attention in class, Harry scolds. Even so, he agrees to teach the boy. Wouldn't do to let a mission go wrong just to prove a point, after all. It hasn't anything to do with the prospect of Eggsy's heat in his arms, his face oh so close, his body right there- NO.
"Tonight, my house", Harry says. Eggsy just looks at him, eyebrows rising up, mouth falling slighty open- no, he isn't looking at the boy's lips, what do you think? "My living room has enough floorspace for it", he quickly justifies, "and I have all the necessary records." Eggsy smirks at him, and the older man feels the urge to lean in, so Harry quickly turns around and stalks away.
"Don't be late!", he says over his shoulder.
"How can I not be late when you haven't told me an hour", Eggsy asks Harry's retreating backside. Harry doesn't turn around or respond.
When he receives a text from an unknown number that says "Dinner as well. Seven o'clock", well, Eggsy may have allowed himself a victory dance. A really tiny one. It definitely isn't long and ridiculous enough for Roxy to record on her phone and snapchat it to Merlin. No, it isn't.
Harry can't deny it anymore, however much he wants to.
Eggsy is the most rubbish dancer he's ever seen and he's seen Merlin drunk on Raspberry Cosmo's. He's slipping and tripping all over the place, he's stood on Harry's foot at least ten times in the last half hour and he's accidentally landed on top of Harry when he falls three times.
Harry's trying to not notice how interested certain parts of his body are. It's only a natural reaction to the accidentally intimate contact, he's sure.
That sort of works right up until Eggsy finally gets the hang of it. Harry has no choice but compliment him. Eggsy smiles all puppy-like and blushes proudly at Harry's praise. His eyes twinkle when he looks up at Harry from his feet through his eye-lashes and the man's well maintained denial just gives up.
Harry's so bloody gone, he stares at Eggsy until his mind reboots and starts going "OH FUCK OH FUCK THIS ISN'T A CRUSH NO OH NO I'M IN LOVE OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK I'M SO FUCKED". He may have been standing frozen for a couple minutes. Maybe.
"I'm terribly sorry," Harry eventually says at Eggsy's prodding, "I suddenly realized I have an important call coming in soon. It requires you to leave. I'll be in my office, I trust you can show yourself out?"
Moving into his office and breaking open a new bottle of Scotch is not a retreat. It's a tactical- Oh bloody hell, fine, it's a retreat.
Eggsy call Roxanne to pick him up with her car. When he sits down in the passenger seat and shakes his head, her eyes scream despair and utter disbelief. Eggsy tells her they need cocktails and ice cream. She doesn't say a thing, just does what they always do after a hard day.
When they arrive at Rox's place, Eggsy gets Amelia on the phone and Roxy takes the necessary food and booze out of the fridge. Amelia arrives suspiciously soon afterwards bearing the gift to mankind that is The Devil Wears Prada. She must have been expecting it.
This is why they're best friends, Eggsy tells them as the three of them sink down on the couch. Perfect understanding.
After a solid week of pining, Eggsy's only just returned from his mission and Harry still has no idea what to do.
When Harry walks into his office to ask for advice, Merlin just hands him a cup of tea with a dash of whisky. He listens patiently as Harry rambles on about his predicament.
Then, he shows Harry a recording of Eggsy dancing expertly with Roxy during their training to be a Kingsman months and months ago. "If Eggsy could dance all along,' Harry asks confused, "then why did he fail so badly when I taught him?"
Merlin calmly sips coffee from his mug. It takes him a moment.
"THAT LITTLE SHIT", Harry shouts "HE PLAYED ME FOR HOURS?!".
He jumps up from his chair - "I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!" - and storms out of the room - "AND IT WORKED?!"
When Harry suddenly stops at the end of the hallway and wails despairingly "HE'S BEEN SEDUCING ME FOR MONTHS, HOW DID I NOT NOTICE?!", Merlin loses it completely.
Eggsy walks in the next morning wearing the happiest smug face Merlin has ever seen, followed by a dazed Harry with stars in his eyes, the same (but slightly rumpled) suit he wore yesterday and love bites down his neck. Merlin may have choked on his coffee from laughter.
Just a little bit.