Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. Duh.

A/N: Okay, here is my attempt at humor. I'm pretty sure that my humor is a little warped, and maybe a little out-dated, but here goes.

Chapter 1: Kurama's POV

I woke up, my mind filled with the remains of a dream I would never remember. Basically I did the same things any other fifteen year old did to get ready for school. I brushed my teeth. I put my clothes on. Same old uniform. At high school we had to wear this puke-moss green spawn of a toad. It was just pants and a long-sleeved shirt. It clashed with my hair something awful. I grabbed my books and flew out the door. Mother was already at work. The school loomed ahead of me like a brick tomb.

Another fun day! I was screaming bloody murder inside at the thought of sitting through Social Studies. Not if we stole Mr. Piebald's belt. I killed the thought that Youko sent me, though it amused me. As I reached my locker, another fear hit me. It was a week before Valentine's Day! Last year at this time, my locker had been filled with the dreaded love notes. Against my will, apparently the girls had organized a fan club. It had to be my hair. My hair is the most beautiful red thing on the earth. If the fan club would vanish if I changed my hair, I still wouldn't do it. My hair was just too perfect.

Cautiously, I opened my locker. I looked into…a solid wall of notes. I looked, then looked again. My entire locker's contents refused to budge even though it was open. The notes were that packed in there. A scream caught in my throat. Every girl in the entire school must have asked me out!

Several jealous guys watched my locker from a distance. They would never be able to compete with my hair. Aren't you a little obsessed with your hair? I completely ignored Youko. Now the daunting task of cleaning my locker out so that I could put some books in there.

I considered finding Hiei, he could just torch every last cursed note. Finally, I realized that class would start in ten minutes. I had to clean my locker out. Carefully I touched an innocent note. The whole thing collapsed on top of me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw girls start fighting about me. My hair.

To be polite, I read approximately one note. It said:

Suuichi, I lov u! I am your most loyal fan. I am # 777 of the official Suuichi fan club. Please be my valentine!

My stomach lurched. Member 777! That was bad. "It's not that bad, at least 777 people are worshipping my glamorous hair," I said. Mentally I felt a brief suicidal thought from Youko.

"Are you planning to pick the hallway up, Mr. Minamori?" a voice asked from behind me. I turned and saw…Mrs. Sanda. The evil head janitor, she had white hair and a pinched face. She never did any work. She simply made the students do it.

I spent the next four hours picking up every single note in the hallway. At least it got me out of Mr. Piebald's class. Then the bell rang. God. Now the real torture would begin. Today was Tuesday. I had gym on Tuesday. So did about fifty other people. Most were girls.

I went to the boy's locker room. I ignored Youko's comments such as: Go in the girls! You might see one naked! They wouldn't care… I hated Youko's slightly perverted disposition. I always assumed that it was because after 450 years, the notorious thief Youko was still a virgin! He hated me knowing that. I had even gotten him to confess that he had never seen a girl naked either.

I put the loathed gym suit on. We also had an evil dress code for gym. Some really perverted person had invented the gym clothes we had to wear. It was a body suit. A spandex body suit. A really revealing spandex body suit. A puke-moss green really revealing spandex body suit.

I stepped into the gym. It was a plain gym with a big stag beetle painted in the center of the floor. I hated the school mascot, which was the stag beetle. How the hell was that a mascot? Naturally, the flock of evil beings I call girls floated towards me. Soon, they would practically consume me; I would have to fight for air. All because of my heavenly hair. I love gym. Youko reminded me for the thousandth time. The girls also had to wear a puke-moss green really revealing spandex bodysuit.

The girls were closing in on me. My heart raced, I was prepared to fight for my life. But I was saved by Mr. Meckless the gym teacher. He had a retarded look on his face. It looked like he had just had the worst constipation of his life and he was proud of living through it. That was how Youko had described him the first time he saw Mr. Meckless.

Mr. Meckless made us do eight laps around the gym. The girls tried to follow me, but I did my best to stay ahead of them without revealing my power. Then he had us play tag. Tag. That must be the stupidest game I had ever heard of in my whole life. Finally, the torture ended and the bell rang. Youko suggested going into the girl's locker room again. I paid no attention.

Lunch consisted of: Unknown, possibly toxic substances. I could eat a squirrel with rabies and live longer than if I ate this crap. I thought that Youko was wise on this particular subject. I ate nothing.

The following classes were the same old usual boring things. When the last period mercifully ended, I opened my locker to get my stuff. An avalanche followed. Surprisingly, paper hurts. I had once again filled the hallway with notes. "Holy Crap! How can the girls write so many freaking notes!" I demanded angrily. But I endued all pain for my hair. It was more precious than a ruby.

A finger tapped my shoulder. It was Mrs. Sanda. She glared at a random note as if to vaporize it, then left me there. I wasted another four hours of my life picking up love notes. With hatred I noticed that most of the notes came from someone called Yami Suigen.

Finally I was able to go home. Thank God. As I walked home, Youko babbled on and on. He never shuts up. This time, Youko told me a story about him being the best thief in the world by stealing an amulet. Boring. He had told me this story before. When I got to my house, Mother's car was in the driveway. At first I thought she was early. I was late. It was already seven. When I opened the door, Mother practically charged at me.

"Suuichi! Where were you!" Mother crushed me in a hug.

"Valentine notes," I wheezed out. Mother got the idea and stopped hugging me. Her brown eyes were sympathetic. This had happened last year too. Tomorrow I would have to face another locker full.

"At least you're so popular with the girls," Mother said. "Most guys don't get half as much attention in a life time. So, who is going to be your valentine this year?" I froze. I had completely forgotten! The school always had a contest to find the cutest valentine couple. Last year I had gotten only second place. No! This year I would win! The prize was 1oo dollars! That's enough to buy even more hair products to make my hair even perfecter!

"I don't know Mother, not yet." She winked at me. Then, just as she turned away, I glimpsed an evil look in her eye. I was scared. Mother hardly ever looked evil unless she was going to be evil. Great.

A/N: Weird, no? I hope you at least thought about laughing at some of it. Please review. I accept all kinds, just so long as they are reviews.