She Hasn't Always Been This Way

She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen,
Walking definition of a beauty queen
Every man in town wants to take her away
But she hasn't always been this way

I stop. Hold my breath -- then gasp slightly. Wow. I see her, her hair long, shiny and begging to be fisted In my hands, I see her dark brown eyes and soft olive skin that looks good enough to nibble. Her legs are long, slim and defined, her torso taut and breasts firm and pert. Surely I could not have seen her before…and yet, here she is, at the Order's ten year celebration - ten years since we won…since we were victorious. Before Minerva can come grab me to reminisce about the good old days I slouch into a corner, grabbing the bottle of Firewhiskey as I go.

I sit in the dark of the room, no candles to illuminate my face, no flames to allow people to see that I am here; I don't want to talk to them, but I'll happily sit and watch the brunette beauty before laugh…who she laughing with Potter? And Weasley. Sickening. Good Salazar, get a hold of yourself Severus, they're fifteen years your junior, jealousy is not becoming. Though I do look good in green.

Suddenly it hits me; brown hair, tall, Potter, Weasley -- Granger. Hermione Jane Granger. My, my, those years in China really let her flourish. I watch her as she grabs Potter's hands and pulls him to the dance floor…he's blushing; Merlin, if that were I, I would - stop, right there. It's not me. Won't ever be…not that I'd want it to be. Moodily I slosh the amber alcohol into my mouth and sneer as it burns my throat -- or maybe I am sneering because Potter just began doing an absurd imitation of dancing with Ms Granger.

He wants her. I see the desire in his eyes, hell, I see it in all their eyes as they watch her dance hypnotically, laughing cheerfully. But, she hasn't always been like this…I remember her fuzzy haired and buck-toothed.

Shoulda seen that girl ten years ago
With a Kool-Aid moustache and freckled nose
Now she's breaking hearts and taking names
But she hasn't always been this way

She really did use to be some sort of tragedy; bushy curls, pale skin, big front teeth, freckles dotted all over the place, her eyes and nose too big for her face…terrible. Though now I look at her and, my, my has she changed - for the best, of course. Two people pass in front of me; Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown-Finnigan, if I'm not mistaken, both heavily pregnant and both staring avidly at Hermione -- er, Ms Granger.

"Well, apparently 'Mione has had a long string of boys since the war…you know all those scholars that went over to China with her to suss out that mystery thing." bitches Parvati.

Lavender laughs, "yeah? No surprise, I mean she must have been offered about I've Owl Addresses already and she's only been at the party for ten minutes…" they wonder off sipping their orange juices and I scowl at them. I scowl at her.

Of course she'd have many boys after her…she could use a man like me -- Damn it control yourself, Snape. I remember when she was all awkward around her first boyfriend, Victor Krum, she had been inexperienced, not known what to do with him and his attentions…then Ronald Weasley…that had been a train wreck, both nervous, gibbering buffoons unless they were locked at the lips; sickening. Seems she knows how to handle herself these days…still, she hadn't always been that way.


She didn't mean anything to me
I brushed her off so easily

She hasn't always been this way
I really can't believe how much that girl has changed

I suppose I could blame myself, I wasn't nicest to her when she was my pupil, but she was a Gryffindor and was -- probably still is -- a know-it-all. An insufferable one at that. And during the few war year I blanked her whenever an attempt at conversation was made, and still she defended me when Potter and the many Weasley's voiced their distrust. I never did thank her for that - my pride didn't, wouldn't, allow me. And I suppose she now thinks it best just to ignore me in turn. I think I'd prefer it if she hate me as do Potter and Weasley -- that'd be some sort of emotion directed to me from the beautiful young woman, but no…this ignorance and indifference is much worse.

I only had to smirk at her or hiss and she disappeared, tail between her legs -- you know, if I really had examined it all back then I'd probably have come to the conclusion Ms Granger had taken a liking to me…though, ten years ago I'd have avoided her at all costs after making that analysis, though it is obvious now she'd rather squish me underfoot, after all I see her out their schmoozing with Potter and everyone else at the party but have I even seen her lips forming my name? Have I hell.

Sweet Mother of Circe that girl --woman -- has changed, and I didn't even recognise the elements within her to be a stunner. I'm really quite in awe of her miracle makeover, if truths were being told.


She's out of my life, she's out of my reach
I'm out of her mind, she's out of my league
But she hasn't always been this way

I want to walk onto the dance floor where she's once again shimmying about with the-Boy-Who-Couldn't-Dance-to-Save-His-Arse. I have a good mind to go up there, tap Potter on the shoulder, barge him out of my way and show her how to really dance…we could tango up and down this floor like nobody's business…and how shocked they would all be when I swoop down to claim her lips -- what in the name of everything Slytherin am I waffling about? These are the thoughts that give my students nightmares.

She's nothing to do with me anymore…we don't even have reason to talk. She's nothing to do with my life and I, in turn, do not affect hers. In fact I doubt I even enter the crevices of her mind. I doubt I even enter the same league as her anymore…even though, if it weren't for me, the ridiculously attractive little bint would be six feet under and rolling about in her grave by now. I gave her an amulet to protect her, it had absorbed that Cruciatus curse that the Dark Lord had sent her way -- would have reduced the poor cow to a colossal wreck if I hadn't thrown the amulet in its path.

Still, I'm sure she's rather too busy with her many fancy men to even bother that I did that for her…though, years ago she'd have approached me blushing and stuttering, thanking me…Ms Granger likes us to think she's a confident, sassy woman but she hasn't always been this way.

She hasn't always been this way
I really can't believe how much that girl has changed
She's out of my life, she's out of my reach
I'm out of her mind, she's out of my league

I watch as Potter flings his arms around her and kisses her soundly on the lips -- so, they are an item are they? Whoopee. I lost Lily to James and any chance with Hermione to Harry. What is it with Potter men? Bastards.

She seems happy and in love as he twirls her about, people congratulating them on -- on their engagement? Bugger me. Well, don't really…but, whatever…Damn it! She gets beautiful and Potter gets the girl…all is right in fairytale land…I hope they're pissing happy together.

I stare, slugging down a good amount of Firewhiskey, as she leans forwards to hug Weasley and Lovegood's toddler, a long chain slips from beneath her robes, dangling off it a dark green talisman it…it looks oddly familia--the amulet? She kept it…dear me, Hermione Granger, Miss Good Girl. Third of the Golden trio. Brains of the Dream Team. Harry potter's fiancée and wearing my amulet…

She's supposedly in love with Potter but still, after all these years is wearing it. As she straitens up she begin to hurriedly arrange it so the amulet sips back down her top and before turning to face her precious Potter her chocolate eyes catch my dark charcoal ones and she mime a kiss, then taps the midriff where the pendant I gave to her is resting…oh yes, she most definitely has changed. Hermione Granger hasn't always been this way.


She hasn't always been this way…

Author's Note: As always, this Severus/Hermione is in dedication to Sian-um Faye...she is the loverly one: )

The song is by Doc Walker. I hope you like it...I just thought it something nice and I haven't written anything for HMS Potions and Prudence in forever and I felt like writing it...so HA. Blah.

Please review, I love your thoughts and I am a review-whore...-giggle-

Tasha x