Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Otherwise, I would have Rurouni Kenshin volume 28, I would have 50 million more dollars than I have now, and I would have continued the series with an arc on Megumi and Aoshi's love story. Oh, and I wouldn't have put Sayo in or drawn any of the episodes after 62 in the anime. And Jinchuu would have been drawn, and…
Once again inspired by Shimizu Hitomi and her fic, "Beneath Azure Skies". I think she's going to become my honorary muse. Based loosely on Sarah McLachlan's "Full of Grace." And when I say loosely, I mean loosely. :)
Lots of waffiness, written in an experimental style, blah blah blah. Hope you like it! ;)
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It is the same song that he had heard so very long ago.
Nothing has changed. The voice still soars with her spirit. The song still dives into the depths of his soul. The beauty and grace of the singer has not diminished.
If anything, it is more.
More free.
More intense.
More beautiful.
It was a rare night when Kanryuu was away. But he had been, that fateful day.
He had nothing to thank Kanryuu for. Nothing, except for that one night.
He remembers it like he remembers his own reflection in the mirror.
A dark night, spiked with stars.
A garden, blooming with flowers.
A woman, filled with grace.
And a song.
A song. He remembers that song well. Above the fragrance, above the stars, above the moonlight, and even above her eyes and her beauty. Above all, he remembers her song.
A song
Of pain
Of death
Of misery
Of grace
Of redemption
Of Hope.
It was not just a song. It was his theme, his overture. It was what he had looked for during those dark bloody days, during those dark restless nights. It was the fragment of his soul for which he had searched. It was his pain, it was his cure.
It was her soul.
It was a song that he would have carried to his death.
So that only he would hear it.
So that only he would feel such grace.
So that only he would see such light.
So that only he would have her.
That was the day an empty man found his soul and his heart.
It is easy for one to lose his heart.
It is easier still to lose his soul.
It is rare for such a one to find his heart.
It is rarer still for one to find his soul.
But to find both, together, in one night, is heavenly grace.
So he had fallen in love with her, with her song and her soul. So the once-heartless man had loved from a distance; the once-soulless man had been filled with her song. From a distance he had loved and learned; from up close he had given her the only thing that he could: his dagger.
With this dagger
he gave up his dark past.
With this dagger
he gave her a chance for freedom.
But men like him do not easily accept such miracles. And the past and past habits are not so easily forgotten. So he had turned from her—surely redemption could not be so easy—and as his men fell, so did his soul. And he had forgotten about the song.
He forgot his heart.
He forgot his soul.
He tried to forget about her…
Each act had torn him apart. Each betrayal had thrown him deeper into darkness. He could not feel the ground. Okina, Misao, Oniwabanshu, Soujirou, Shishio, Kenshin…meaningless words thrown around him like leaves in a storm.
In sleep he could not rest.
In consciousness he could not live.
Only in darkness could he feel at all.
He had seen her once, but the fog around him clouded his eyes and he could not recognize her. Her beauty had taunted him, her eyes had frightened him; shadows and reminders of something he wanted to have but could not remember. And so he had threatened to kill her.
And when he lay down that night, he had dreamed for the first time.
He dreamed
Of a garden
a fragrance
a fog
that hid his heart
and a cruelly laughing wind
that drowned out
the cry of his soul.
They say that Himura's words had brought back his reason, that Himura's sword had brought back his soul. But it was not true. For his reason and soul would not have returned if his words had not echoed her words, if his sword had not sung out her song as it swung through the air.
And as the sword delivered the final blow, the pain had brought back his memory, his reason, and his conscience.
It had whispered to him
Her words, her prayer.
And at last he could see,
At last he could rest.
So at the end, he had paid his debt to Himura. At the end, he brought him back to those who loved him.
She had been there.
He had seen her, and knew her, and remembered her. He had seen everything.
He had seen how her eyes ran so quickly to Himura. He had seen how her hands shook as they ran over Himura's fevered skin. And through the thin screen walls, he had heard her voice lift softly in song everyday as she tended his wounds.
He did not know why
His heart hurt so
So he hid it
But his soul could not rest
When his heart was denied.
He did not request anything of anyone. He did not request anything of her. Though she looked at him only through doctor eyes and did not speak, he had not cringed. For him, this was what he deserved. This was his punishment.
He bore it without complaint.
Only once did he break. The pain in his chest and in his mind had overwhelmed him, and against his will, he had heard his voice begging her to sing, to sing her song. Her doctor's mask had fallen, and she looked at him with eyes too searching, too confused.
She had sung.
She sang
With a heart perturbed
Of confusion
Of darkness
Of fear
But still she sang
As she had in the garden
Of light
Of redemption
Of grace
And of Hope.
He had not broken again. But he could not find pleasure in picking up his life where he had left off; not in folding paper cranes for Misao, not in overseeing the Aoiya, not in interrupting Okina's attempts to letch on women. His bloody past and his betrayal had changed him, and he could not resume his former life again.
He buried himself in meditation.
For his soul was still restless
his heart was not satisfied.
His peace was just out of his reach
But he did not know how to touch it.
He remembers those days. They were not painful, nor were they joyous. They had simply been days. When he could no longer quench his restlessness with tea and meditation, he had stood up. He had filled his hours with Aoiyan business, with managing Misao and Okina. He had filled his days with visits to Tokyo, with visits with Himura, with glimpses of her. Jinchuu passed by, the breaking up of the Kenshin-gumi and the Oniwabanshu passed by, as did the hours, the minutes, and days.
He was no closer to finding the answer.
And he had not understood
why he went to her first
why he conversed with her
why he left with her
and why he could feel his heart beat
whenever her deep eyes touched his.
He remembers when he finally understood. He had been thirty-two; she had been twenty-eight. The sakuras had been blooming. She had come to visit Misao. And that night, he had been meditating, and she had been in the garden.
The night, filled with stars.
The garden, full of fragrance.
She, graced with beauty.
And a song.
And once the melody floated to his ears, his eyes had snapped opened and so did his heart. He remembered all; he remembered the song. And it was the answer to his restless soul.
She sang
A song
Of pain
Of loneliness
But also
Of a reason to live
Of grace
Of redemption
Of Hope.
He realized that she was his song.
She melted his cold eyes.
She filled his empty heart.
She calmed his soul.
She was his reason for living.
She too had finally understood. And after years of pain, years of loneliness, years of uncertainty, and years of searching, they had finally found each other.
They were married that spring.
And through the shower of sakura petals
And the smiles of their friends
He bound her to him
And he kissed her
And he smiled.
That night, in their bedroom, in their tangled sheets and in the circle of her arms, he felt life for the first time in years. And against his chest, she smiled, and she sang to him. Only for him.
She sang
A song
Of wasted years
Of love
Of dawn
Of grace
Of redemption
Of Hope.
He slept in peace for the first time that night.
And he dreamed
Of a garden
Of her fragrance
Of her lips on his
Of her body against his
And of starlight that sang to his soul.
And he smiles as he remembers. Because her arms are now around him every night, and her lips are on his. Because she sings to him every night, and every night he dreams that dream. Because she is his life, his song, and his soul. Because after so long, he has finally found his happiness and his smile.
He walks over to the room and peers inside. He smiles.
She is beautiful, full of grace. She carries something in her arms. And she is singing.
She sings
A song
Of happiness
Of joy
Of love
Of grace
Of redemption
Of Hope.
He enters the room. Then his arms surround her as he presses his lips to her hair, feels her smile, and look at his son sleeping in her arms. Two pairs of mahoghany eyes meet his, and he feels the sunlight upon his face.
And he sings.
With all of your strength and all of your courage
You came and lifted me from that place…
You're full of grace
full of grace
my love
Owari
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Waffy enough for ya? I think it's a little too waffy, maybe bordering on the cheesy. Yikes. I can't believe I wrote that all in one sitting. Phew. I had an idea last night before I went to sleep, and I went and wrote it all out today. I'm okay with it. It could be better. I'll probably do some major revision someday. : /
I know the end might have been sort of strange. I mean, Aoshi singing? Can you imagine it? But I think since singing and Megumi's song is so important in reaching Aoshi (in my fic), he would sing. I imagine his singing voice to be a beautiful, rich tenor-bass, like Peter Cincotti's.
By the way, go listen to Peter Cincotti. He's like Frank Sinatra, except only nineteen. *sigh*
I partially wrote this because Cherie Dee was saying that she wanted to read some new A/Meg fics. So I hope this was up to your standards!
I hope it wasn't too similar to Shimizu Hitomi's fic. I didn't mean to copy or anything, I just really liked the style. Not that I actually even succeeded in coming anywhere near her fic or style. Feel free to flame me if it is. Any and all comments are appreciated and welcome. :)
The part that goes:
And he had not understood
why he went to her first
why he conversed with her
why he left with her
and why he could feel his heart beat
whenever her deep eyes touched his.
refers to Jinchuu. If you haven't read the manga, I don't want to ruin it for you. But when Aoshi first had suspicions about Kaoru's "death", he went to Megumi for information and advice. His conversations with her are amazingly long (for Ice-man) and very casual, as though they know each other very well. He goes to her alone. Throughout Jinchuu, Megumi and Aoshi are drawn very close to each other (maybe Watsuki-san was trying to hint at something?) Go to the Shrine of Ice and Fire for examples of such images. He also times the end of his visit to Tokyo with Megumi's departure to Aizu. So hopefully that helps.
Oh, and happy belated Valentine's Day!
Now back to working on my other fics.
'Til we meet again.
~Tru