"If you do not know others and do not know yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle": Sun Tzu
The dropship's desk shuttered under his feet as Lieutenant Kyle Howard made his way to his commander's cabin. He hadn't taken the time to change, he still wore his sweet stained mechwarrior suit, cooling vest and all. Reaching Major Gibson's door, he reached up to knock and then hesitated.
The door slid open as Captain Max Rivers exited the cabin. Surprised to see Kyle he waited for the door to close before speaking.
"Are you ok?" Max asked genuinely concerned, the big tall Skyeman looked about ready to break into tears.
Kyle nodded. "Is the boss ok…. does he know?" he asked hesitantly.
"Yes." Max replied to both. "You don't need to do this in person, no one blames you."
"I need to." Kyle responded quietly.
Max nodded sadly and stepped out of Kyle's way. Kyle took a deep breath, hit the opening button and stepped through the hatch.
"Boss…Gibson…I…" Kyles choked as the words he's practiced since the hanger bay deserted him. Major Samuel Gibson had been propped up in his bunk, his right arm in a cast. Seeing his friends distress he swung his feet over the edge and on uncertain legs made his way over to him, then to the younger man's surprise, he embraced him.
"There is nothing to forgive." Gibson said, his voice tightly controlled as he fought back the waves of emotion threatening to overwhelm him. "I sent you because if you couldn't save her no one could." He held Kyle at arm's length so he could look him in the eye. "You didn't kill Cara, the Clanners did. You did not let me down, we were overwhelmed. Next time we will have our revenge."
Kyle nodded, determination starting to mask his other emotions. "I won't let you down Gibson."
"I know you won't. Go see to your lance, they need their leader." Gibson instructed as much as ordered. Kyle nodded again, not yet trusting his voice to respond he saluted instead and left leaving Gibson alone with his thoughts again. Ridderkerk has been a disaster, the 1st Lyran Regulars had collapsed in the face of Clan Wolf's assault and Gibson's attached mercenary regiment had not been spared the consequences. 6 mechs lost, more crippled, 56 KIA or MIA, most of the company wounded including himself. His wife was among the missing presumed dead, Cara had been evacuating the wounded from Canton Down's Hospital, typically of her she had insisted on being the last out and when the convoy was overrun her APC had burnt.
Grief threatened to overwhelm him as he replayed the events in his head, but he forced the memory down. He wanted to mourn, to lie down and cry his eyes out, but there would be time for that later, in the meantime he had work to do.