I hear them.

All the time, I hear them.

Even when I know there's no possible way that they can be anywhere near, I hear them. I wonder if I'm going insane. I wonder if she wonders if I am. I think maybe I'm getting paranoid. And why not? Don't I have a right to be? I know, more than most people, what they're capable of... What I'm capable of.

I hear them getting closer.

And that's what it comes down to, in the end. I know that the most dangerous threat to her, and our unborn child, is sleeping in the bed next to her every night. I know that if I am not careful, if something was to go wrong, I would be to blame for killing my wife and child.

They would be gone, and it would be my fault.

I hear them getting closer; their howls are sending chills down my spine.

It is my worst nightmare.

Is it any wonder that every second of every day, I am plagued by the constant fear of werewolves?

Is it normal, to be afraid of yourself? I am afraid of what I am, what I could do. I see the scratches and bites on myself when I don't have any Wolfsbane. I bite myself because I lock myself away where I cannot harm anyone else. If that's what I do to myself, I shudder to think...

So why did I marry her?

That is a question that has plagued me for a while. Why did I think that it would be okay to subject someone to me, day in and day out? Least of all, someone I loved. And I love her, with my whole heart... Although how can someone that is half untameable beast love someone with their whole heart?

How am I supposed to tell her that I hear the call of the wild? I hear the howling, coming closer and closer. It scratches at the doors, at the windows. It's calling to the beast within me. It wants me to embrace it. But I won't. I could never do that.

I thought about it once. I came close at times when Sirius was in Azkaban and Lily and James were dead. But then I would think of Harry. I was determined that one day, I would see him. I wanted to see what kind of man he would grow up to be. I knew he would make us all proud. And now, I have my own child to live for.

And Dora.

My wonderful, wonderful Dora.

I know that I am nothing. I am not worth anything in this world. But when she looks at me, belly swollen with my child, eyes swimming with unfathomable pride, I forget that. She makes me want to be worth something.

She makes me want to be worthy of her love.