(A/N): Hey everyone! This was my first Merthur fic, as well as my first fic for my OTP! I'm following the episode script(s), but since this is my first time writing Merthur fic, please forgive any OOCness! Enjoy!

A Flutter of Chances

Merlin's eyes fluttered open. He noticed the dull throb in his head while his blurred eyes attempted to distinguish his surroundings. As his surroundings cleared, he saw Gaius and Guinevere standing near him, holding each other while tears streamed down Gwen's face. Ugh, he thought. What in the blazes happened around here? he wondered.

"That's disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourself. You're old enough to be her grandfather," Merlin muttered as he looked up at the pair. Gaius' eyes widened.

"Merlin. You're alive," he said, still recovering from the shock. Merlin smirked at the expression on Gaius' and Gwen's faces.

"No. I'm the ghost come back to haunt you," he responded sarcastically, smirk still dancing on his lips. Before he could discern anything else, he saw Gwen swoop down and suddenly a pair of lips were upon his. Before he could register anything, he closed his eyes and saw a flash of golden blonde hair dance across his eyelids. Suddenly the lips were gone. He snapped his eyes open, slightly confused and very curious. Gwen was leaning over him, hands in front of her mouth.

"Sorry, I'm just...I thought you were dead," she mumbled an apology before straightening up. Merlin grinned. Whatever had flashed through behind his eyelids had given him a warm feeling in his stomach.

"It's fine. It's more than fine...erm...what happened? The last thing I remember is drinking the wine," Merlin changed the topic for Gwen's sake.

They explained to him how the chalice indeed was poisoned, and how Arthur had carried Merlin to his room. Something twisted in Merlin's stomach and he felt blood rush slightly to his cheeks. Gaius and Gwen didn't notice; or, if they did, they didn't say anything. They continued on telling him about how Gaius had discovered the nature of the poison and how Arthur had defied his father and gallantly ridden off to the caves where the flower could be found. Merlin's face flushed darker as he thought of Arthur riding away gallantly-for him, Merlin. He wondered why he was so flustered at this, and determined that it was probably one of the after-effects of the poison.

Apparently Arthur had met Nimueh there, and she had left him with his life in jeopardy. But then, they told him, Arthur had seen a light guide him out of the cave, spiders crawling behind him.

Merlin's face turned even more red at this. He had a dream in which very similar things had happened, and in his dream he had cast a spell meant to guide one from misfortune. He wondered if ended up actually conjuring it in real life as well. Then he wondered how Arthur could care about him enough to risk his life to save him while he was on his deathbed, but act like an arrogant prat and treat him like shit when they saw each other every day.

After they completed telling Merlin the tale, both Gwen and Gaius left Merlin on the patient's bed where he lay and quietly left the room. Feeling weak and tired, Merlin slowly drifted asleep.

When he awoke, he kept his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of daylight streaming down on his face. Wait. Daylight streaming on his face? The patient's bed is across the room from the window, he thought. Blinking his eyes open, he realized that he was in his room. Seriously doubting that Gaius could have lifted him and put him there, he turned his head.

Arthur was sitting there, reading one of Gaius' books. A Historie of Camelot. Merlin stared him for a moment, admiring his golden blonde hair lit up by the sunlight pouring through Merlin's open window. Arthur glanced up from his book and caught Merlin looking at him.

"You're awake, then?" he queried, a glimmer in his eye and a grin on his face.

"Er…erm, yeah," Merlin replied, still marveling at Arthur's face while questions bubbled up within him. Why did you save me? Why does your hair shine like that? How did I get to my room? Did you carry me? You like to read?

"Why…why are you here? I mean, I'm sure you have other things you could be doing, being the son of the king, and all…" Merlin trailed off while he sat up and looked at Arthur questioningly.

"I just came to see how you were… That was pretty brave of you, drinking the poison for me," Arthur closed the book and set it down on the floor beside him. Merlin only just noticed how casually Arthur was dressed today. A loose red shirt and trousers without a hint of his brown jacket or the royal crest anywhere. He looked...nice. Ordinary. If anyone ordinary could have that luscious golden blonde hair and those piercing blue eyes. Merlin shook his head and thought of something coherent to say.

"Well, you didn't do any less, riding into the forest against you father's will al all, finding the flower deep in a cave and facing Nimueh," Merlin replied casting his eyes away as he felt his face start to flush once more. Arthur glanced away slightly before looking back up at Merlin and opened his mouth to speak, but the young warlock cut him off.

"And, well, you are the heir and all. Can't really risk you dying," Merlin said, trying to mask whatever was clawing inside of him. "But you're definitely more important that that too, I mean, you're a good friend and all," he wanted to say, but couldn't bring himself to say it for some reason. He looked up at Arthur, who's previously grinning face had settled into a more humorless, somber one.

Arthur felt irritated. Was that the reason he drank the poison? Because I'm the heir to the throne? he pondered. I mean, that is true and it was right of him to risk his life for me, the prince, but…is that it? his thoughts trailed off while his pleasant expression slid off of his face, and his teeth clenched inside his closed mouth. Why do I feel so irritated? he wondered. It's not like there should be any other reason, right? He is my slav- manservant and all. Arthur looked up at Merlin, whose eyes were wide as a doe's as he looked at Arthur in confusion. Artheur's gut wrenched at his expression. What the-what's going on with my stomach? Ah, I should probably go eat something. That's the only reason I'm feeling so squeamish...right?

Arhtur looked up into Merlin's blue eyes and let his gaze travel toward his defined cheekbones, and finally arrived at those soft-Arthur could only imagine...wait, imagine?- and pale pink lips that were usually pulled up in a grin, but were nearly quivering as of now. Arthur felt strange. He needed to get away from Merlin so he could think, figure out what was happening to him before it was too late. Too late for what? he wondered.

Feeling more confused than ever, Arthur forced a smile on his face. "Well, thanks anyways. Since you seem to be doing fine, I'll expect you in my chambers tomorrow morning at daybreak. Understood?" Arthur got up and swiftly strode to the door before pulling it open and walking out of the house, not waiting for a response or sparing a glance back at Merlin, who was sitting in his bed, looking up at Arthur, words on his lips and sunlight on his stricken face.

Merlin, feeling very confused and troubled about Arthur's reaction to their conversation, lay in bed the entire day worrying.

What does Arthur think of me?

As his manservant, of course, his mind answered itself.

Then why did he, you know, leave all of a sudden? Maybe he doesn't like me?

He must have remembered something he had to do. And of course he likes you; what's not to like? Besides, he wouldn't keep you as his manservant if he didn't like you.

Merlin attempted to resolve the raging conflict in his mind, but question after question raced through his brain, each leaving him more confused than before.

Finally, Gaius entered his room and checked his temperature before yanking off his covers and demanding that Merlin join him for dinner.

Merlin didn't feel like eating. He still had so many questions swirling around in his mind that he couldn't focus on eating. Noticing that he was distracted, Gaius looked up from his food and looked intently at Merlin. Despite this, Merlin didn't even notice. Finally, Gaius decided to ask.

"Merlin? You seem troubled," he stated gently. Merlin didn't even look up from his soup that he was repeatedly ladling but not drinking. Gaius tried again, a little louder.

"Merlin? Whatever bothers you, young man, that makes you like this?" Gaius inquired. Merlin finally looked up, his eyes a little dazed.

"Er, um, nothing much. Just…nothing. It's nothing," he seemed to be reassuring himself more than answering Gaius' question.

"Mmm," Gaius nodded and glanced down at his food before glancing back up at Merlin.

"…Now, do want to tell me what it really is, or do I have to force it out of you?" Gaius asked Merlin again, a twinkle in his eye and a kind smile on his face. Conflicted, Merlin ladled his soup a little more before he opened his mouth.

"Well, er, Arthur came earlier today, and, well, it didn't go so well…I think…" Merlin voiced his fear and confusion in hopes that his desperation would be understood by Gaius. Unfortunately, they weren't.

"Oh, you two just had a slight spat. It'll be over in in a few days, and you'll be fine," Gaius smiled good-naturedly and, shaking his head, continued drinking his soup. Feeling dejected, Merlin took a sip of his soup. Gross, he thought. It had gone cold.

He sat there for a moment more before heaving himself out of his chair and heading for his room.

Merlin lay in his bed contemplating leaving the room and heading out to find Arthur. He'd just think I'm weird, Merlin thought miserably. Then he wondered why he was feeling miserable at all. it wasn't like Arthur rejected him. It wasn't like Merlin liked him.

Merlin froze. He swallowed. He ran the thought through his mind again. It's not like I actually like Arthur. I can't like Arthur. He's…a guy. My friend. He's the heir to the throne. I have no chance. W-WAIT! It doesn't matter that I don't have a chance with Arthur because I can't like him. No- I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like Arthur. I don't like him.

Merlin repeated the phrase in his head over and over again like a mantra until he fell asleep. Not that it did anything. The only thing it accomplished was when Merlin woke up, he thought of the phrase once more, and he knew it was a lie.

(A/N): So, what'd you think? I'm a bit proud of myself, though I know it's not nearly as good as a lot of the rest of the stuff on fanfic...

R&R PLEASE! ^.^