The Piece that Chipped Off

"Conceal a flaw, and the world would imagine the worst." Marcus Valerius Martial

"I hereby declare the expulsion of the state of Singapore from the Federation of Malaysia." Malaysia announced in a voice of cold indifference.

Singapore slowly exhaled. She wondered belatedly why she had been holding her breath in the first place. The outcome of the vote had never been in her favour, that she knew almost three days ago when under-the-table negotiations of the separation began. Nobody on his side wanted her to remain in the merger. The hushed silence that seems to be muffling the mouths of the occupants in the room thinned just a little at her fidget. Everyone turned to stare in her direction.

She silently shifted her chair backwards and stood. There were no papers, no notes to collect. It was merely a vote by all the states of Malaysia. A unanimous one; twelve to zero hands rose in opposition of her continued statehood. The collective whole that made up Malaysia just threw her onto the streets.

Singapore did not flush and squirm with fear and shame; that was already done days ago. All her begging and offers of negotiations fell on unhearing ears; in truth, she was out of the Federation when the words were first uttered from Malaysia's mouth. Today's meeting was unnecessary, if only to make her humiliation more thorough and complete.

"I'll have my belongings packed and ready to go in half an hour." She said, calmly, almost too calmly. Singapore bowed slightly at the seated congregation, before turning on her heels to pace herself out of the conference room. It was hard to believe that just a few years prior, she was the kind of person who would wear her heart on her sleeve. But that's stupid, Singapore thought now, that was practically going to the battlefield nude. The years after her recovery from her incarceration under Japan taught her enough. In a meeting room full of states (and one nation), openly displaying the nauseous fear she felt infused in her very bones was foolish.

Foolish, and stupid, and idiotic, and irritating, and childish…

The logic and self-degrading words were the only things keeping her from falling to her knees and bawling for them to take her back.

Urgh, wasn't this what I've been after all along? Then why, why, why? Why was she so close to launching herself at her elder siblings' feet to grovel for their forgiveness? No, no… She did not do anything wrong that required for her to prostrate herself at them. They were being unfair; they did not like who she mixed up with; they thought she was the same as Russia and China, a filthy commie that deserved to die; they were constantly judging her; they did not…

…even consider her family.

Singapore's grip on the insides of her pocket tightened and shook.

It was true, not once in her memory did she remember being treated like the younger sister that she really was. They were only ever after the quick money her trading port generated under colonization. As far as she can remember in her existing memory, that is.

Not for the first time, Singapore wished to know what her life was like before her colonization. Strictly speaking, her memory extended to just two centuries before she first caught sight of the Great British Empire, but those memories were more of her flitting from to and fro the villages that was her and the forest. Singapore knew, from her brief interactions with Malaysia, the then Sultanate of Johor (and many other names he had gone by), that while he innately knew that it was the body of his little sister standing before him, she was not his sister.

Singapore might have been young and naïve, she was not oblivious.

There were times where Johore would cast her longing glances, as if just waiting for the sister he had lost to suddenly come back and do whatever…sisterly-brotherly…things with him (what do brothers and sisters do, anyway?). It used to be a prick in her side when she thought he was only visiting her because Singapura (then-Singapore) looked like Temasek and previous-Singapura. Then when she saw one of his ships occasionally patrol her seas to ward her against the conflicts of the peninsular wars and that was when it became a silent, festering want and need to be acknowledged by her brother aside from his obvious love for his lost sister. Even if she had to use the previous Singapura's looks to do so. Guessing how Singapura would have once behaved must have been a mistake because Johore slowly began distancing himself from her. That led to another lull in her history.

So no, even the closest kin she could claim to be related to never truly saw her as a sister. His sister was dead, gone with the flames set by his then-mortal enemy, Portugal.

Singapore scratched at the bandages around her collar through her clothes. The wound that refused to heal shut since the racial riots more than a year ago was finally showing signs of scabbing. With scabs came the itch, and the almost constant need to tug at the bandages. It had taken all her willpower to resist doing anything at all during the short meeting.

There was no one in the hallways as the ex-state strode in the direction of her room. The manor had been cleaned and maintained by daytime servants, and otherwise by its thirteen, now twelve residents. The servants had been ordered to take a leave today for the inevitable and ugly split in the household.

Ha, what an ideal time to finally decide to do some forward thinking, Singapore mentally scoffed, well aware of the many times Malaysia underestimated a deadline and ended up pulling an all-nighter to finish whatever documents his boss has sent him.

…like their talk with regards to his boss' decision. His Prime Minster had come to the conclusion that the riots and conflicts socially and politically were not worth her economical value as a prized trading port. That was weeks ago. Malaysia had procrastinated in informing her until just last Saturday, when their bosses met for the same declaration by the Malaysia's Prime Minister. And she was already out of the Federation today, three days after. Malaysia really could have given her a better warning than to drop the (atomic sized) bomb on her with his boss.

…irresponsible asshole…

There had not been enough time given to them to react, no time to make amendments to their stand, nothing could have been done to save the merger when they were only given three freaking days to realize that Malaysia seriously intend to disown her. Or divorce her. Or whatever the hell the merger was to them.

At some point, the gut clenching fear of the thing called 'total independence' had turned into a calm, boiling-under-the-surface anger; a slight loathing of the racist idiots trying to make her look like the one at fault. The pansy side of her would quietly counter that she might have been too forward with her discontent with Malaysia's rules. Her world-weary side ignored that voice.

…but maybe if you conceded a little, they might take you ba-

And brutally punched that crybaby. In slight denial.

Singapore knew her pathetic, groveling side was justified in its fear; Indonesia is warring against Malaysia for the territory he claimed, Malaysia only expelled her because her people and boss were too headstrong… A newly independent nation in the middle of raging titans meant possible attacks from both sides. She was vulnerable with the pitifully small military force she had (most of which are commandeered by British officers who were leaving with their government). Malaysia could force himself on her thereby destroying any sliver of trust she had in him but he decided to let her go instead. It was debatable if either option were favourable at all. Defense was the first thing Singapore needed to establish once she got back home. She only hoped that the Middle-Eastern nation she wanted to contact would willingly help her even when she had nothing tangible to offer in return.

Just the thought of ever standing up against her armed brothers make her quaver and hesitate in her steps.

As she reached the door to her bedroom, Singapore briefly considered that perhaps half an hour was too much time for her to move out. The more logical, practical (and perhaps slightly cynical) side of her brain had won enough quarrels with her wimpy-crying side to have the bulk of her belongings sent back home over the course of the weekend, with just the bare necessities to last her through the last days.

Her remaining suitcase had been packed the night before, sitting at the foot of her bed where she had left it that morning. Finding no reason to delay the inevitable, Singapore hefted the bulk from its side, lifting it by its handle with her left arm and turned towards the door…to find it blocked by a figure.

It was Malaysia standing in the hall, leaning inwards. His gaze was cast downwards at the plush carpet. The past few years after his growth from separate states to a single solid entity had given him a growth spurt. He looked more like a young adult than the gangly young teenager armed with a too-big rifle in the war. The man's furrowed brows made him appear even further aged.

"Hmm?" she prompted, setting down the weight of her luggage. She would be lying if she said some of her resentment did not seep into that non-verbal sound.

"I…" he began, then paused. The man left his thought hanging for a long moment before continuing. "I didn't want it to end like this."

My humiliating expulsion, or our broken supposed-sibling ties?

The wimpy-side gave a squeal of delight. He'll take me ba-

Goddammit, shut up!

The voice disappeared with a squish under a ton of weight.

"We both knew it was going to end this way, one way or the other." she casually shrugged, carrying her suitcase to approach the open door again. It just wasn't supposed to be like this. Her elder brother stood aside to give her space. Remembering her manners, she inclined her head, muttering a polite, "Good day, Malaysia."

She straightened to continue her way, but Malaysia stopped her yet again with a call. "Brother." He insisted, steel in his voice. "Call me brother."

Now a little more than aggravated by the man's actions, Singapore nodded over her shoulder and responded curtly, distastefully, "Brother."

The asshole was still waiting for his Singapura to surface.

Not once did she look back as she left the manor.

Had she done so, she would have caught the pained, close to tears expression Malaysia had made upon her unfelt address.

A/N: Yay! Procrastinating from school work yet again! ( Yikes.) I've been working on this one on and off along with another two plot-bunnies for a while now, and seeing as I've not devoted much time to writing as much as I should have. I'm glad to say that at least something productive was done this morning (Yes! Morning! I woke before ten today! I should get a medal haha). This was half its length before today, by the way. Goes to show exactly how slowly I work :P

Historical notes~ Because the morning just ended, I'm going to take the easy way out and show you one of the sources I was referencing from regarding the Merger and the Separation (ahaha, sorry) [ourstory . asia1 . com . sg / merger / merger . html] I hate the formatting of that website.

The whole thing was basically about how "shit hit the fan" when the Federation of Malaysia was first formed and how Singapore seemed to be one of the causes of it all (along with the very existence of the nations in the region). Indonesia was being a bit of a bully trying to make Malaysia acknowledge that he has full rights over everyone else, with an argument about as strong as "'cause he's the eldest". Yes, kind of like China :C .

Everything else was from other parts of Singapore's history which I'm hoping I can garner enough self-motivation to actually write about. Singapura, well no, the whole peninsular and straits in the Middle Ages was actually surprisingly interesting to read about. Oh the love/hate (platonic) relationship between all the siblings~

My version of Malaysia does love his dear little Singapura. She was destroyed by the Portugese some time in 1613 in midst of armed conflicts between Portugese colonizers and the natives of the peninsular (she was a 'trading port of certain significance' and was probably targeted because of that). The Singapura that survived the burning of her trading settlement never returned to being a port of under the Sultanate of Johor thereafter, until the Great British Empire found her almost two centuries later and she became Singapore. Malaysia's personal feelings towards Singapore at this point in time is rather conflicted and irrational due to his er, boss, and Indonesia (and his boss). Eh, more of his and Indonesia's relationship with Singapura (hopefully) in one of my future fics.

Oooh! I do love bashing imaginary voices!

Hope you enjoyed that! Do take the time to read and review! I'll love you so much for it!~