Hey guys! This is upon request, John screws up again- no shocker, but this time he can't fix it. He tends to screw with an ectomachine and switch bodies with Karkat. Thats enough said.
On another note, Im doing another story that is also requested, A GamTav one. That story is going to be put around tomorrow, and to note; it is human not a troll one. :P I looked over some 4chords, and thought maybe I should make a human homestuck story for once. The ideas!- also if you would like to give ideas or just I dont know, chat about stuff let me know! That part is towards the end of the chapter.
*See end of Chapter for updating notes.
Rated: T- Language and mention of mild sexual themes.
Chapter 1- Friendly Leading
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"IF IM AN ASSHOLE THEN STRIDER IS EVERY SHITSTAINED PATHETIC MIX OF A WRIGGLER THAT IS KNOWN. HE IS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE HUMAN RACE WITH A LAME ASS OBESSION OVER 'COOL' TWISTED IN HIS FEBLE HALF BRAINED MIND- CORRECTION DEAD IS MORE LIKE IT. HE CAN NOT PROCESS SUCH KNOWLEDGE THAT SPILLS FROM MY WORDHOLE. I PLATIONCALLY HATE HIM MORE THAN MYSELF. THAT IS REALLY FUCKING SAD."
Karkat slammed his fist down on his keyboard, growling with a few clicks escaping his throat. The human on the other side of the computer screen let out a giggle. He tended to make 'those sounds' whenever he would rage quit or just rage.
"Sorry Karkat, jeez you don't have to be all mean towards Dave. He's cool! He-…"
"LET ME FUCKING STOP YOU THERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING MAKE ME CLAW OUT MY THINKPAN AND POSSIBLY CAUSE MY EARDOCKS TO BLEED OUT, RESULTING IN THE WORST CULLING I COULD EVER FACE IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN. ONE, STRIDER IS A FUCKING DOUCHE. TWO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE 'FRIENDS' WITH A NOOKSUCKER? ARE YOU THAT PITIFUL? AND I DO NOT MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY GOGDAMNIT."
Karkat looked at the screen, his eyes locking with the human's on the other side of the chat. John gave a sheepish grin before looking down at seemed to be his keyboard.
"Uh… I... can we not talk about this? I kinda feel… - uh- Hey! Did you know we are coming over?"
He could have put himself out of his misery that moment, the keyboard looked so inviting for his head to be bashed upon, but thought it over as that fucking smile of Strider's flashed through his mind. FUCK NO, he wouldn't cull himself just to have that shit mock him. Recently he and that moron had gotten into strife- no more like almost killing each other- fuck, no words could describe it. He fucking hated that human to the point he wanted to shove those plastic shades up his-
"HEY! Are you listening?"
Karkat glared.
"Yes John, I was fucking listening."
"Then what did I say?"
"You fucking said that I was right and your were fucking wrong, end of fucking story. And something about you coming over to torment me."
John giggled at the last part.
"No silly, we are coming to stay for a few weeks! Dave kinda screwed the machine up...and it sort of … uhm... so we have nowhere to stay. Isn't this going to be fun, we all could have one big sleepover! OH, we could watch Con-Air!"
Karkat couldn't resist smashing his head on his grubtop. He would have said 'fuck you' or simply rejected everything and just flipped the table, but he wasn't in charge of it. One thing he could possibly have control over, he didn't.
That made his anger rise, not only he wasn't in charge of this fucking event, but it was Vriska who insisted it. How the fuck did she do it? He didn't want to fucking know. All he cared for is that fuckass was to be as far away from him as possible. He didn't mind locking himself in his room for an entire span of days. As long as he had his rom-coms, he was set.
"Hey Karkat? Where are we going to sleep?"
Shit, he forgot about that.
"Uh… you wrigglers can share rooms. Dave can fucking sleep in a cardboard box. I guess your friends can pair up with some of us."
John let out a small hum; he bit his bottom lip in thought.
"Dave can sleep in Terezi's room! He said something about taking the couch but he should be fine there. Rose can be with Kanaya since they are really close it seems…." John let a small blush dust his cheeks, before shaking his head to clear that thought.
This didn't go unnoticed by the troll. In fact he found himself smirking.
"Karkat why are y-you smirking?"
The said troll looked up, the grin growing in mischief.
"The fuck are you stuttering for Egbert? That I don't know already."
"No reason! I asked you a question first Karkat!"
This might be fun; Karkat leaned against his chair, continuing to troll the human.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUCK! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!"
This wasn't such a good idea after all.
Karkat slammed the bucket down once he had gotten if off his head. He snarled looking for the culprit, John was screwed.
~Flash Back~
Karkat thrummed his fingers on his grubtop; some idiot started pestering him about how to fix shit that was broken, AGAIN. Seriously couldn't these people do a single thing without fucking it up?
A knock sounded against the door, causing him to furiously type a 'fuck you' and close the chat. Once up, he treaded towards the door, opening it slightly. He peeked outside to see no one, but just to hear a low giggle.
John. Fucking. Egbert.
He thought he had gotten rid of the human, for he threatened to destroy that poster he so obsessively kept in the back of his closet. Karkat had stumbled upon it once, by looking for his missing shirt.
"JOHN GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY RESIDING BLOCK NOW!"
Another giggle.
Growling, Karkat slammed the door open, just to have a cold- no FUCKING FREEZING bucket of water fall on his head. That wasn't the worst part; the worst part was the BUCKET. Of all things he could have done it HAD TO BE A FUCKING BUCKET?!
Karkat turned his gaze at the human that stepped from behind an adjacent doorway.
Shit is about to hit the whirling device.
~End of Flash Back~
Karkat now held his sickle in his hand while running through the hallways. John was ahead of him, using the windy thing to set obstacles in front of Karkat. He went a little too far, but it was too late, for Karkat was seething.
John quickly turned into a lab before running into Sollux and Rose.
"AUGH! Watch where your goiing!"
"John are you alright? May I ask why you are running through a heavily machined area? It is quite dangerous."
John looked up and took Rose's hand that she offered before dusting himself off, and explaining.
"So… that how this thing started… hehe sorry." Sollux stifled a laugh before looking over the door way.
"You're lucky KK diidn't kiill you from the thtart."
"Speaking of, where is he?"
Just in time, Karkat slammed the door to the lab open. His sickle gripped tightly in his hand.
"FUCKASS!" He lunged at John, but was caught by Sollux.
"KK calm the fuck down."
After a few minutes Karkat had calmed down, and stored away his weapon.
He sat across from John, his face still a bit red from the incident. Sollux teased Karkat about how they would nicely fill a quadrant, earning a questioning look from John and growl from the troll. John giggled as he watched Karkat argue with his troll friend, a blush visible on his face.
If only he knew what the quadrant ordeal meant. John decided he would ask whenever he and Karkat were alone.
John glanced over the buttons on the machine. Sollux and Rose went over on how to alchemize things, but he forgot already. This was way different from any machine he worked with during the game. The game was long over, but sometimes they would try to alchemize things to avoid any money shortage.
"Uh….. Karkat?"
"Don't fucking tell me you didn't listen on how to work this shit."
John looked down before shaking his head.
"Well then we are fucked. I don't know how to work this either. You're going to have to scrape some knowledge from your think pan and figure this shit out."
He didn't know how to work the buttons; he also didn't know which machine was the food making one.
"I uh… kinda don't know which machine is… the one we need to make food…"
Karkat facepalmed.
"Haven't seen one of those in a while! Hehe, two facepalm combo!"
The troll growled and pushed John to the side.
"Look nookwif, let's just fucking figure this out before Rose human goes on about one of her annoying scolding on how we lack in some proper shit, on how to work fucking together like fucking wrigglers that you so happen to be. – And if that asshole of a friend of yours blames me for screwing shit up for some damned reason so help him."
John nervously looked over the machine again.
"Uh Karkat…"
"FUCKING PUSH THE DAMN BUTTONS!"
John winced and pressed both hands down onto the machine, a loud humming signaling the machine coming to life. John smiled, thinking he actually figured it out, even if it was a guess.
A screen popped up, indicating its purpose. It was an ectomachine. The one they didn't want to screw around with in a place like this.
"John what the fuck did you push."
John gave Karkat a nervous glance as images flashed across the screen, and buttons lighting up.
"Uh… I think this an ectomachine…."
"A WHAT?! THE FUCK DID YOU SAY EGBERT!"
John opened he mouth, but closed it as the machine displayed a message in green lettering.
"Is... that some weird language?"
Karkat didn't respond, but only stared at John, teeth bearing.
"You're such a dumbass."
Karkat didn't get to push them away, as they were both engulfed in a white light.
READ:
So a few ideas come from cosplay and RPS...Also if you guys would like to be a part of some of my activities I do with friends let me know! I would like to get to know my readers~!
Next update is: 7 Days from this update
GamTav Update: The day after this update
Preview:
"Oh gog Ebgert, I know your an alien but...the fuck is going on down there?!"
John failed his arms, or in other words Karkat's, and tackled him to the floor.
"Thats not cool! Bro's don't put bro's hands down their pants!"
Karkat growled, but it instead of scaring the idiot, he made him laugh.
Fuck this shit.
A soft click of the lab's sliding door sounded throughout the room, causing both boys to turn their heads towards it. Dave stood at the door way, hand hovering over the button still.
"D-Dave! Its not what it looks like!"
Karkat stood up and ascended towards the human.
"IM JOHN EGBERT AND I FONDLE MY SHAME GLOBES!"
John gasped and quickly joined Karkat.
"DAVE DONT LISTEN TO HIM. IM JOHN AND HES KARKAT, WE MESSED AROUND WITH THE ECTOMACHINE! AND HES LYING I DO NOT DO THAT!"
Dave stood there, poker faced.
Dave absconded.
"Egbert way to fucking go."
"Shut up."