I wonder what it's like to die. Does it hurt? And what kind of life is there after you die? I will probably never know, because I'm forever stuck in this body. I never had a choice, nobody asked me if living forever was appealing to me. No, this choice was made for me.
When I first found out I was a vampire, my whole world collapsed, right in front of me. Everything I always believed in and everything that I was ever told, suddenly seemed to be a big lie. My brothers are all vampires, Level B's. Except for my sister Lena. She died. I investigated for a long time what it is I am. A vampire, the demon of the night, something that is linked with death and terror. Lots of people will sleep with this demon terrorizing there nights. The idea that countless people are afraid of me, scares me.
i don't know how many minutes, hours, days or weeks passed since I saw the sun for the last time. How long I've been in this room and for how long I'm on this bed. Time has lost it's meaning when your a vampire. I have tried so many times to kill myself, but in the end I could never do it. The idea that my beloved sister had fought so hard to live, makes me lose the strength to actually do it. Who am I to take my own life, if she fought so hard to keep hers?
Slowly I stand up and walk to the wall. I feel so tired and weak. I look at the covered mirror in the corner. I covered every mirror in this house, because I don't want to be confronted with the monster I am everyday. Slowly I pull one of the sheets of the mirror and look at my reflection. I lick my lips, just to see my reflection do the same. When I slowly tild my head up and look at my own reflection, I scare myself. Black empty eyes with huge black stripes under them look back at me. I tild my fist up and smack the mirror as hard as I can. I feel the glass digging into my flesh and I feel the pain forcing me to the ground. This pain is the only proof I'm still alive. Pain means your alive.