Disclaimer:: I don't own Glee... yet. and it's illegal and wrong to own people so I don't own Katie Perry... Uh yet ;D
5 Things Kurt is good at but hates to do and 1 thing he's bad at but loves to do.
1. Sports
"I hate baseball." Kurt complained as he lay on Mercede's mickey mouse sheets she had spread out in the grass.
"Then why did you come?" Quinn asked sitting down beside him.
"Blaine loves baseball." Kurt explained. Finn and Puck had decided that since it was the first day of fall warm enough to play baseball that they'd do just that. They had every boy in glee club (except Kurt), Blaine, Wes, David, Tina, Lauren, Santanna, Brittany, and Santanna's idiot borfriend Dave Karofsky.
"Aw you're so sweet," Mercedes smiled, "risking immense boredom for your boyfriend."
"Uhhng!" Kurt mumbled, "I hate sports period! I only played football because of Britt. It was just a coincidence that I was awesome."
"You have such a big head." Mercedes rolled her eyes.
"Hey," Rachel said dreamily as she plopped down by Quinn who shoved her off the blanket, "Hey!"
Kurt chuckled, earning a glare from Rachel, "Sorry..." He was still smiling though.
"Ow!" Kurt look towards the baseball diamond and saw Finn sitting down holding one side of his face. Sam was holding the bat looking apologetic.
"Oh my god Finn I'm so sorry!" Sam rushed over to him and some other teammates swarmed him.
"I'm gonna sit out for a while guys." Finn said, "Kurt, could you sit in for me?" Kurt began to shake his head but Finn did that kicked puppy dog look thing.
Kurt sighed, "Fine, but I'm not sliding! These jeans costed more than your whole wardrobe!"
Kurt stood in the outfield and didn't do anything when Sam hit the ball and it landed near him. Honestly he didn't know what to do. Puck ran and grabbed the ball and threw it to the second baseman and Sam was out.
"You're supposed to get him out, Kurt!" Puck scolded, "Here, you bat first."
His team was up to bat and Kurt had completely no idea as to what makes a foul ball different from a non... foul ball, or even the proper name for a non-foul ball.
Puck handed him a bat, "Just hit the ball and run."
Lauren found this the appropiate time to yell, "Move in!" A few people laughed but Kurt didn't get it.
Mike waved at him before pitching. Kurt made a funny noise and tried to dodge the baseball. Puck looked a little mad and Kurt smiled apologetically. Mike pitched again, this time underhanded, Kurt resisted the urge to move out of the way and swung the bat at it. Crack!
"Run man!" Kurt noticed that he was closing his eyes. His teammates were trying to get him to run. The ball had gone pretty far. In fact, he hit farther than Finn and Puck. He felt quite proud and began to run, which he would have complained about but he was too busy running. Karofsky tried to throw the ball at him but it missed and Puck yelled, "No pegging!" Kurt made it back to home and ran right into Blaine who fell on the ground, getting the breath knocked out of him.
"Sorry!" Kurt said quickly.
"No worries." Blaine smiled then tripped Kurt.
"You-!" Kurt yelled angrily.
"Payback, Kurt, payback." Blaine laughed.
2. Fixing cars at the garage
Ever since he was ten, Kurt helped Burt at the garage. Burt said he might as well learn how to fix a car just in case of an emergency. Kurt never particularly liked helping him out in the garage. He had to wear and awful jumpsuit and some of Burt's new employees could be mean. Burt normally fired the really mean ones of course but usually they called him something pretty vulgar before they got fired. Truthfully, Kurt loved fixing cars but not in the garage. Well one day wasn't all that bad.
It was Katie flipping Perry! Kurt couldn't believe it, Katie Perry was in Lima and her car was having problems and Kurt was RIGHT THERE!
"Dad, let me do this and I will love you forever!" Kurt pleaded.
"Oh," Burt said, looking at Kurt strangely, "Sure, why are you suddenly so-"
Kurt ran off before he could finish and stopped in front of Katie, wishing that he was wearing something nicer. He decided that he would totally marry her if he was straight, "I'll take that for you ma'am." He wished he could text Mercedes and tell her that he'd stall while she came to meet Katie but his jumpsuit didn't have pockets."
"Thank you..." She squinted at his nametag, "Kurt. The car wont start, I got it towed here."
Kurt smiled and opened up the hood, "Let me just see whats wrong." Kurt found himself not even caring about jerk employees and his awful outfit, Katie Perry knew his name! He was soooo Facebooking this when he got home! "This wont take too long, you can wait in one of the chairs over there if you'd like." Kurt was surprisingly calm around one of his many idols. Then again, he had experience hiding his feelings."
"There!" Kurt stepped back and closed the hood, then went around to the driver side and started the car. Oh em gee! He started Katie Perry's car! "Fixed." He said proudly.
"Thanks..." She paused awkwardy, "So... is it weird having a boy name?"
If Kurt had been drinking something that would have turned into a spit-take, "I am a boy!" He insisted.
"Oooh." Katie blushed, "I'm sorry."
"I'll just get my dad to bill you," Kurt changed the subject, "I don't know how much this costs."
Katie Perry just stood there thinking, oh god I just insulted the owner's son. He totally sounded like a girl! I thought he just liked to have short hair or something!... I wonder what he puts in his hair...
After Katie handed Burt the money and left Kurt sighed. Katie Perry thinks I'm a GIRL!
3. Video games
It was freaking the brand new Call of Duty! Finn had to buy it! He immediately texted Sam, Puck, and Mike, telling them to come over to play it.
"Let's do this!" Puck shouted, stealing the potato chips from the pantry. They ran past Kurt who was talking to Blaine on the phone and almost fell over.
"Hey!" He shouted after them then quickly added, "Oh, not you Blaine!"
They all ran to the living room and Finn quickly put the game in his gaming system. They started to get really loud, yelling every time the "poned" someone and yelling smack talk at the other boys.
"What is that?" Blaine asked.
"Just Finn and his friends playing their stupid game." Kurt said marching into the living room to complain. He paused then said, "No I'm not going to ask what game they're playing!"
"The new Call of Duty!" Finn yelled.
"Ohmygosh!" Blaine sounded excited, "Invite me over Kurt! Please?"
"Yes," Kurt said sarcastically, "Just what I need, my step brother conversing with my boyfriend, good-bye Blaine."
"Kuuuuurty!" Blaine whined. Kurt hung up.
"Jeeze," Kurt sat down on the couch by Finn, "Boys and their video games!"
"They're fun!" Mike said without taking his eyes from the screen, "Take my controller, I have to pee!"
"Just pause it!" Kurt insisted.
"It's online, we can't." Sam said helpfully.
Kurt sighed and crossed the room to take Mike's place as he shot towards the bathroom, "How do you shoot?"
"That button." Sam said pointing to a button on the top of the controller.
They were quiet for a little then Puck yelled, "Holy crap Kurt are you sure your gay? You just killed, like, ten people."
"I'm offended." Kurt said simply and dropped the remote, "I'm going to the mall."
"Yup," Puck said, "He's totally gay."
4. Attracting the opposite gender
"Holy crap dude," Puck gaped at Kurt, "You totally just touched her boob and she didn't care!"
Kurt looked at the cheerio who was going back to her lunch table, she had asked him to fix her shirt so that it looked 'fabulous as his'. Kurt was a sucker for suck ups and actually didn't notice the fact that she had been flirting and meant for him to touch her boob, "So?" Kurt replied.
"Why do hot chicks alway flirt with you?" Puck wondered.
"I don't know, but if my competition is a guy who calls them 'chicks' then there's not that much complication. Besides, they're not hitting on me, I happen to be the least perverted boy in the school." Kurt shrugged then paused, "Why are you even sitting by me?"
"I... don't know." Puck looked a little confused then went to join Finn at another lunch table.
"Hey Kurty," A cheerio named Ginny stopped in front of him, "could you fix my bra?"
Kurt sighed, a man's work was never done.
5. Fighting
Kurt and Rachel didn't normally hang out but Rachel really wanted to rebel against her dads and see the Black Swan, "Kurt, your the only one who would take me!" She begged over the phone.
"Fine," He sighed, "But you're paying!"
They had just gotten done seeing it and Rachel was babbling on about it, Kurt was just about to make a snappy comment when he heard Rachel let out a small scream. Kurt spun around and saw a guy holding Rachel by the waist and dragging her towards a car. No one else was around and Kurt realized that he would have to do something.
"Hey!" He chased after the guy and pulled his hands away from Rachel's waist and she escaped his grip.
"You brat!" The man jumped at Kurt but he dodged it and elbowed the guy in the back of the head. The man turned around and punched at Kurt but he blocked it and grabbed his wrist. The man gasped in pain as Kurt twisted his hand into a surprisingly good wristlock. The man bent over a little and Kurt kneed him in the face then let him fall to the ground, his hands covering his face.
Rachel gave him a kick to the side, "Jerk!"
Kurt pulled her away and they walked quickly back to his Navigator.
"How did you do that?" Rachel asked.
"I'm just that fabulous." Kurt smiled back.
1. Kissing Blaine
Wes had to leave his room in the middle of Avitar when Kurt and Blaine began to make out. Avitar wasn't even that romantic!
"What are you doing Kurt?" Blaine pulled his head back.
"Kissing?" Kurt said adorably.
"Uh... are you sure? I think your supposed to open your mouth." Blaine felt a little weird saying that.
"Ew!"
"Didn't you make out with that Brittany girl?" Blaine asked.
"I pretty much blocked that whole week out Blaine. You do not want to see what I looked like!" Kurt said.
"And Karofsky kissed you." Blaine said.
"I thought he was just being gross!" Kurt argued, shuddering at the memory.
"Well," Blaine said, "just do that now." They started kissing again, "Ow!" Blaine pulled his head back again, "You bit my tounge!"
"Sorry, it was kinda funny tasting." Kurt sighed.
"How about we just watch a movie?" Blaine suggested, "You know, as soon as Wes gives me tounge stitches!"
A/N: Poor Kurt he can't seem to kiss right. Blaine might have to give him a lesson *eyebrow wiggle* I'm going to write a fic about Katie Perry apologizing to Kurt and one about where Kurt got his awesome ninja skills. It's gonna be SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot! Sorry I LOVE that word! Reviews are the equivelent of five whole entire long minutes on happiness, you know, until Ryan Murphy makes Kurt sad again.
A/N: The authors note may appear in the wrong place sorry bout that.