Disclaimer-like-thing: I don't own it, and neither do you. For better reading, you should all be under the influence of V & C.
It has no title ... again.
"Well helloooo mister cockroach," said Storm to Beast.
"Ororo ... I'm not a cockroach."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm not. I may be a giant furry blue man, but I am not a cockroach."
"Oh..." Storm disappeared and then Beast fell down a small abyss on the stair of the mansion.
Nobody cared, not even you. So, then Storm died for a little while, but not to worry folks, in the next episode or, on the next page of the comic she'll be having pizza with Bobby Drake.
Who is also dead.
For once, Jean Grey is alive and well, without any demented thingies in her brain that is contantly obsessed by mentioning that it is PHOENIX then that it is DARK PHOENIX.
Like I said, Jean is so healthy that it makes both you, me and her sick. So now, she's dead.
Hasn't this been a most fabulous beginning.
Do you believe it took me nine whole minutes to write that?
Ten, now.
So, so far Storm, Jean and Bobby are dead as proverbial dead door nails, and Beast has fallen down an abyss.
So that this isn't just like one of the comic books, I thought I'd write something unusual in...
Uuuuummm ...
Ah, now you, me, Scott Summers and Professor Xavier are all dead.
I would write more, but I am dead.
You would read more, but you are dead.
By this point the other two are alive and also having pizza with Storm and Bobby Drake.
So ... how are you?
Bet you thought it was over. Nah, I was just kiddin'. Everybody! DO THE hUSSLE!! with a small h.
"Oh no, I seem to have fallen through an abyss on the stairs of the mansion, and into someother dimension where I am a lesbian woman with five children and cancer!!!" howled Beast.
Sorry ... I do love the X-Men,but I love making fun of it more...If you don't like it then you're far too serious to be alive. You're dead ... again. I'm an author, I'm omnipotent (not impotent but omnipotent) and I can do what I want!!!
"How can this be? I am a lesbian woman with five children and cancer, Wolverine is a goldfish!! With small adamantium fins and a furry ass, Jean Grey is ... thankfully not in existence here! Scott Summers is gay and having a relationship wiht non other that professor Xavier who is one of my children, Storm has pink hair, brown eyes and syphilis, Rogue can speak like a normal human being and Gambit ... is a necrophiliac!!! Gambit, Leave the reader's dead body alone, that's disgusting!
Never fear, batman is here! At least, he would be, but he belongs to DC and I'm not allowed to use him.
So, like this is totally bad.
Oh dear lord!!! Psylocke likes to suck her own left big toe while peeling banana's by the light of the moon.
Kinda weird, but, hey, who am I to pass judgement?
"Gambit has something to tell his fans!"
Oh, brother.
"No, I don't tink I am your brother ... Anyways, Gambit would like to confess something to his fans - I have six nipples and I'm a pot bellied pig."
"Didn't Ah tell y'all he was weird?" yelled Rogue, before she was eaten by one thousand vegetarian maggots.
After that confession, Gambit, you have no fans.
"Oh. Never mind, I still got Rogue, after all, she's not going to get anyone else willing to stay faithful even without a good bang every so often,"
Charmin', ain't I?
"Remy, you pot bellied pig Swamp Rat!!" yelled Scott, then he realised that he wasn't Rogue, no matter how much he wore her underwear.
Suddenly, Remy realised Rogue had been eaten by one thousand vegetarian maggots, and that she was never coming back, and that Cyclops was the closest thing to her, after all, he WAS wearing her panties.
So, Scott and Remy went to Hell. I mean the closet, where they made out for ever, I mean for half an hour.
Ya know, I love galaxy quest. That's one cool film.
Best thing I ever Saw Sigourney Weaver in.
Sorry, I'm straying ... but, like when your watching the Alien films you're like "Hey, sigourney, I'm just gonna get some coffee or somethin' while you blow that aliens ... guts ... everywhere ... know what? I'm not going anywhere."
ANYWAY - back to ...this ...
"OH NO!!!" yelled Storm who had finsihed the pizza by now "IT'S AN INNOCENT CIVILIAN!!! What'll we do?"
"Kill it!!!" yelled Logan from the fish bowl "Hey, Sabretooth? What are ya doin' with that there bleach?" I actually lost three goldfish to bleach...but that's another story completely. It's called the way laura lost three goldfish to bleach.
And then you do the magic radiator dance, which involves one witch doctor, a teeny-bopper band such as Steps or the Spice Girls and five hundred bananas. I wonder why it's called the magic radiator dance. Do you know?
Aw, I can feel myself sobering up here, dudes!
I'll be right back, for now, here is a dot to entertain you
.
I'm back, and I have another V & C ... and some biscuits and a sheep.
Guess which I'll eat first?
By the way, I'm also known as L ... of L&Mell ... if you were wondering which you weren't but who cares anyway?
"Guys? That innocent civilian turned out to be none other that *da da dan!* Someone who's not innocent at all but quite guilty!!!"
"Guilty of what?" I'll let you imagine who's talking.
"Guilty of ... Getting the Magic Radiator Dance all wrong!!!"
What the flying hippo was that all about? Never mind, let's continue -
I'm not drunk ... but I am getting there.
It is now 3:05am ... on friday the 28th of April ... I need to find a stone jar...
"Oh no, guys, pigs are flying!!!" yelped Jubilee "That means the fans might be able to understand the Uncanny X-Men Comics Story lines!!!"
"Quick ... uh ... kill off .... Logan again!!!" yelled Jean who has been put in to say that.
"That." said Jean, before she disappeared.
99.2 % of you don't get that the first time. The other 0.8% don't get it at all. Hiya Mell, I'll explain next time I see you.
Mell's dead too.
Submit this to the Fan Fic Network? Are you insane man?
Ah, I see...sorry about that I didn't know you were insane. Love me. What? I'm reading out a personalized letter from Steps member H (what a dumb name, I mean, duh! Only on letter? ... oh, wait ... my name is L ... never mind. Well, you spell it Ell, okay?!)
Then The X-Men appeared in the story.
"Earth"
"Fire"
"Wind"
"Water"
"Heart"
"For the Honour of Grey Skull! I am She-Ra!!!"
"By the Power of Grey Skull! I have the power! I am He-Man!!!"
By process of elimination, the X-Men are below...
"By the goddess, Jean Grey is DEAD!!!"
"By the what? I'm not dead I'm phoenix."
"Chill out, man"
"Don't get a moon burn"
I mean, talk about of all the cheesy catch phrases, Rogue says that one!!!
"Cyclops! Get down!"
"I'm just a kid!!!"
"Run girl, run!!!"
Oh, no!!! They've turned Jubilee into a frog-like being!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never fear, this harpoon is here! And now Jubilee is dead!
*GASP* Shock, Shock, horror, horror, blood, blood, guts, guts and a big mess!!! Logan killed Sabretooth by forcing him to eat fish food by hypnosis.
Why am I not surprised?
I think this can end now.
As you can see I don't really write proper fan fiction just ... type and sometimes words are there...
I don't think this one's as unstable as the last one, or is it more so? ;)
Until the next time, unpleasant dreams!!! This catch phrase is officially copyrighted to Elvira Mistress of The Dark.