Note: I sincerely tried. I'm spanish, don't expect an unexpected good english, please. Expect grammar errors and probable ninja ortography fails.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor its characters. It's all Masashi Kishimoto's work and property.
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Arms fell to his sides, hands fisted tightly in his shirt's sleeves on what seemed to be the worst of his nightmares come true.
He'd never had any hope from the start.
What for?
He knew too well -too damn well-that his best mate was straight -fucking straight (no pun intended).
Stories where same-sex love came to be mutual? That shit full of drama with a happy ending? He wanted to throw them outta the fucking window and burn them and all the goddamned writers and writers, sick bastards them all, playing a joke at him.
Like fuck that was true!
They were crazy -and sweet,oh so sweet- tales wrote by delusional fangirls and mentally damaged fools.
So, here he was, brightly smiling -he wanted to wipe his stupid smile from his face- looking at his reflection in a bathroom mirror, taking a goddamned break from that joke of a party.
His friend -he wished for so much more- making out with a bunch of girls -bitches, them all- wasn't pleasing at all.
The thought alone made that silly grin falter a little, tears drowning his eyes, but left unshed.
He couldn't afford it.
Not now, not ever.
That friendship, that...thing he had was more than enough, so much more.
But he wanted even more.
No, he couldn't afford to cry for a stupid love, for a stupid feeling he wasn't going to act upon if he could help to, for a feeling that was there, but... maybe wouldn't be there next week, next month, destined to disappear sooner or later.
He hoped, at least.
Dread filled his insides, forcing himself to stop his train of though, too scared, too frightened to even imagine what the answer to his confession would be, what he would do if that feeling happened to last forever.
In fact, that was the material of his worst nightmares -in dreamland, of course. In the real world he had more than enough with his mate's antics.
Releasing the hold of his shirt, he took a couple of calming breaths, eyes fixed in the expression that his reflected self showed in the mirror, looking as it came back, slowly, to a goofy smile that faltered immediately after it appeared.
He gripped the sides of his shirt, now wrinkled and in urgent need of an ironing, and decided that he had had enough for a night, for a week, for a fucking whole life.
Not only was being around the fucker was hurting him, he was hurting himself when he willingly watched his friend having fun, fucking around with women and disappearing to, the next day, go to his bar -where he worked part-time as a waiter- with tales of his amazing sex life.
Oh, how he hated the emo bastard when he did that, seriously.
Washing his face, he deemed it acceptable enough to say his farewell to the bastard and run for his money, so he came out of the bathroom and, passing through the dancing figures -the aching people rubbed themselves like jailed animals- he saw his friend -he wished he was so much more- moving his body sensually with the beat of the music, two women around him, moving their bodies in a way that nearly made him gag, plastering themselves to the dark haired teen in a way that made him grateful for being gay.
"Sasuke" he called, above the noise that those people called music.
And the dark haired GOD, turned around to meet his eyes, black charcoal fixed on his own electric blue ones.
He prayed for that fake smile of his to be already on his face, or at least making its way.
He received a grunt and a smirk, the two women separating a little to let him be able to greet the blonde.
"Naruto. Leaving already?" he asked, hand falling on his shoulder in a -fucking- friendly way.
"Yeah. Gotta work tomorrow" the blonde's smile got even wider, even faker, but Sasuke didn't seem to notice -or he ignored it.
The hand on his shoulder fell, chill still shaking his spine in that oh-so-nice-way, blaming that damn heat, the heat that the dark haired one emitted in spite of his cold demeanor, contradicting all the laws of common sense that guided his mind.
The smile seemed to fall a little, 'cause the dark haired one raised and exceptic eyebrow.
"You sure? Because you seem somewhat... strange. You feeling sick or something, idiot?"
Naruto took a step back, afraid of that outstretching hand, afraid of feeling that sweet heat rushing through his body and taking him down, down, down to drown on his feelings.
"Nothing's bad. Don't worry, you bastard!" he reassured, his voice never wavering, used already to much, so much worse that that -or so he thought.
"Want me to go with you? I can take you home or something..." the looks the harpies shoot at him made Sasuke end that phrase. Terrifying looks they were "...and come back later, of course"
They gave a somewhat angry nod, but the blonde shook his spiky head, hands in the air in a patient and defensive way.
"No need to. Have fun"
And he ran. He ran like every fucking day in his life. Ran from the music, from the alcohol, from him. Ran like his life was on the line. Because it was.
He stopped, out of breath, letting his back hit the wall of the alley, slowly sliding to the floor, outstretched legs coming against his chest, arms hugging his trembling body, face hiding in the darkness provided by the shell of his own body.
He'd had enough.
More than enough.
But he didn't think he would be able to stop.
To stop hurting when he saw Sasuke with girls, when they went out drinking our out to the movies.
Having fun or not, he always felt pain, and he was reaching the breaking point.
He stood, once again, now walking slowly -no rush- to the main street, to his cheap, little apartment that he couldn't nearly pay for.
Tomorrow he would stay there. Yeah. He would do that. He'd call Tsunade and tell her he was sick -though that never had happened before. One of his qualities was his health- and he would sleep.
Sleep and maybe forget.
But he knew.
The only thing that awaited in those dreams was pain, nightmares, because he would never be able to forget, and he knew.
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Thanks for taking the time to read and special thanks to those who comment.
Depending on the response I may continue it or just kill it. It all depends in the review button.
And yes, it's short, but it continues.
HikaruWinter.