"WHAT A POWERFUL ERUPTION ATTACK FROM GOLD'S TYPHLOSION! HE COMPLETELY ENGULFED LANCE'S DRAGONITE WITH FIRE. AND THAT ROAR FROM THAT PLUCKY FIRE TYPE ONCE ITS FOE COLLAPSED WAS LOUDER THAN MY SECOND WIFE'S SCREAMS WHENEVER I DIDN'T TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE. NOW LANCE'S LAST POKEMON LOOKS TO BE DOWN FOR THE COUNT! BUT IF I WAS GOLD I WOULD HOPE IT DOESN'T BECAUSE HIS TRUSTY TYPHLOSION LOOKS COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED!"

"OH MY GOD RECOIL! THE REFEREE HAS ANNOUNCED THAT LANCE'S DRAGONITE IS UNCONSCIOUS! THE MATCH IS OVER! GOLD HAS WON! HE HAS DEFEATED LANCE BY THE SKIN OF HIS TEETH, AND WHAT A MATCH, RECOIL! OUR CHAMPION LANCE MAY HAVE BEEN BESTED, BUT HE SHOULDN'T BE DISAPPOINTED WITH HIS PERFORMANCE. IT COULD HAVE GONE EITHER WAY"

"WELL DOG'S BREAKFAST, AS YOU PUT IT YOURSELF, WHAT A MATCH! IT WAS A BACK AND FORTH, TOPSY TURVEY AND EXCITING AFFAIR, KINDA LIKE MY FIRST MARRIAGE."

"NOW NOW RECOIL, LET'S KEEP OUR PERSONAL LIFE OUT OF THIS AND ALLOW GOLD TO CELEBRATE, CELEBRATE WITH HIS TYPHLOSION AND ALL OF THE CHEERING ONLOOKERS AT THE STADIUM AND ALL AROUND THE WORLD... OH AND IT LOOKS LIKE LANCE HAS RETURNED HIS POKEMON AND HAS WALKED DOWN OVER TO GOLD. AND LOOK, THEY ARE GIVING EACH OTHER A HANDSHAKE, AND LANCE IS WHISPERING STUFF INTO HIS EAR, PROBABLY CONGRATULATIONS OF SOME SORT. IT TAKES A GREAT MAN, A MAN GREATER THAN MOST TO TALK TO THE OPPONENT WHO JUST BEAT YOU LIKE THAT, WHAT A DISPLAY OF SPORTSMANSHIP AND COURAGE"

"WELL IF LANCE IS ANYTHING LIKE MY FIFTH WIFE THEN IT PROBABLY ISN'T CONGRATULATIONS. BUT THAT'S WOMEN FOR YOU."

"THAT'S... KINDA SEXIST RECOIL. AND IF YOU HAVE HAD AT LEAST FIVE WIVES MAYBE YOU WERE THE PROBLEM." There was an awkward pause between the two television commentators, before Dog's Breakfast began talking again. "ANYWAY, WE ARE GOING TO CROSS TO A LIVE INTERVIEW WITH OUR NEW 'GOLD QUALITY' CHAMPION RIGHT HERE." Dog's Breakfast could be heard laughing to himself about his bad joke as the television crossed to an image of an attractive young lady holding a microphone into Gold's face, with a shit eating grin on it.

Before the interview could begin, Crystal turned the T.V. off and crossed her arms as she pouted. "Why? Why the hell did such a jerk have to be so... so good?" She was ranting to no one but herself, since her hotel room was empty apart from her. "Well screw it, if that jerk can become a champion, why the hell can't I?" Crystal didn't have any pretenses to being good at battling Pokemon, in fact she was quite bad at it and she knew it. But she was a firm believer that hard work could get you anything. And although she knew next to nothing about battling Pokemon despite how long she had been doing it, and only knew a few people who could teach her about them (and they were all jerks in her mind anyway), she did have a plan. She cracked her knuckles, and then as a result of it felt a sharp pain in her hands and cried out loudly before she put her fist in her mouth to try and alleviate the pain. She then decided that was never doing that again.

Hamish groaned loudly as he heard a loud, continuous banging. In his tired, confused state it sounded like lightning was striking rapidly all around him. He jumped up panting, and looked around. He was in his bed. "That was anti-climactic." He muttered as he wiped some sweat off of his brow. He didn't know why he was sweating, nor why he was so scared of the banging on his door. He assumed it had something to do with his dream as he allowed his face to return to its classic, annoyed and sinister looking 'at rest' face.

"Come on, wakey wakey Hammy. It is time for you to eat breakfast so you can be big and strong for today." A very feminine voice cried out from the other side of the door.

"Yeah I'm awake." Hamish groaned as he stood up. He heard his mother's soft footsteps slowly began to walk away so he slowly moved to the edge of his bed and slid off of it, before he slowly made his way through his bedroom into his en-suite bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed loudly before he closed his bathroom's door and went to hop into the shower.

Hamish wrapped a towel around himself and looked at his reflection once more in the mirror. He was met with the image of a short, Caucasian teenager that was built like someone who was skinny cause they never ate anything fatty, not due to working out in the slightest. Describing him like that makes Hamish seem like a normal looking guy (albeit a 160 centimetre short guy) but he was far from normal looking, and he knew it. Firstly, there was his hair. It was one of those untidy looking hairstyles that never had much for a brush through it that gave him a bit of a fringe. What was abnormal about it was the fact that it was blonde with a tint of green to it. It wasn't a very rich green, it was the sort of tint of green you get when you have spent too long in an overly chlorinated pool and don't wash your hair, except this was his hair's natural colour. It was painfully noticeable, especially in the sunlight.

However, Hamish's second abnormal looking feature was his eyes. See people are supposed to have coloured irises, but Hamish... well he just didn't. His irises on each of his eyes were the exact same colour as pupils. Hamish suffered from a weird and rare genetic abnormality that had a weird and overly complex name that he didn't remember. Those eyes made him look like an anime character or like he was possessed by a demon depending on who you asked. In fact he could still remember when he was 5 and some old people in the shopping centre abducted him and tried to exercise 'the spirit' out of him. Police were involved and the issue kinda blew up. It was awkward, so awkward they had to move to a whole different area. The one thing he appreciated about his eyes was that it took attention away from his hair colour, which he understood was like saying 'Wow this fire really draws attention away from the ugly curtains in my house' but that is just how he felt.

Hamish slipped into his usual sort of outfit. He wore a short sleeved, light blue button up shirt under a long sleeved, black sweater. His pants were long and dark blue and he wore black shoes. He slipped a black bucket hat over his head to cover up his hair and grabbed a backpack, one with a large amount of empty space in it, which he assumed he would need. Hamish sighed as he slipped the bag over his back and headed out to the kitchen. Despite being 17, Hamish's knowledge on Pokemon was 'they exist'. However this was about to change since today, after his mother pulled some strings with a few contacts she had back from when she was with his dad, had managed to get Professor Elm into agreeing to hand him a Pokemon. "Good old nepotism." Hamish muttered as he poured out some generic, cornflakes rip-off cereal into a bowl. Hamish assumed that his mother just wanted him to do... something somewhat productive and leave the house. Hamish's problem though was that he really didn't know anything about Pokemon. Hamish spent the first 15 and a half years in the Orre Region, a place where there is no wild Pokemon to be found, therefore Pokemon are in limited supply. So unlike those Johto kids that have their own Pokemon by the time they are 10, Hamish literally knew the names of like... six Pokemon and that was only because his dad owned them. He felt like an old man around technology in these parts, those damn kids with their Pikachus and their Oricorios and whatever.

Twenty minutes later, Hamish was walking the streets of New Bark Town. To his left he could see a few fifteen year olds playing around with a purple rat and purple snake Pokemon. They were in their school uniforms and everything. He even knew the school itself, it was one down the road from his house. He looked at his watch, and it was 8:53, meaning school started 23 minutes ago. He shrugged his shoulders and approached them. "You know if you are going to skip school to play... rat fights or whatever you could at least not be in your uniform. Anyway piss off and get to school already."

Once he spoke the kids looked up at him. "You know, you got a lot of nerve bossin us around with our Pokemon out. Just cause you look creepy and stuff, doesn't mean you can boss us round okay?"

Hamish presumed the person who replied with the 'boss' of the group. After years of being insulted about his appearance, Hamish had learnt to just ignore them these days. He smiled and giggled a little "Oh no, you have Renny the diseased rat and Sammy the spooky snake. Save me Seymour." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Hamish had half a mind to walk away, but he was in a somewhat busy street. If these idiots were dumb enough to get their Pokemon to attack him here they deserved to face the penalty and be locked up away from society and Hamish was willing to get some scratches for that. So he started bluffing. "Do you really think I would be brave enough to show up here without Pokemon? You kids really must push this 'children are all morons' stereotype. Now we have two ways of this playing out, you guys go to school and do this tomorrow not in your uniforms, or you battle me, I win and then you are in serious trouble. Your choice guys."

The group of boys looked at each other, and they all seemed to come to the same conclusion, like they were part of a singular collective conscious. "Whatever dick." The leader spat out before the two Pokemon were returned and the group began marching away in union.

"Stay in school kids." Hamish taunted before turning back around, putting his hands in his pockets and started whistling. That was even more fun than he thought it would be. Messing with children is always a great way to pass the time, children are all morons.

Hamish was walking some more, he would normally complain about how far away Professor Elm's lab was but if he was going to be taking this whole 'Pokemon Trainer' thing seriously he would have to do a lot more walking in the near future and he was just going to have to get used to it. He was adjusting the bucket hat on his head when he felt a thud behind him, and the cries of a small, high pitched boy's voice. Hamish turned around and saw a crying child, one who had recently fallen over and had a scratched and bleeding knee. "Are you okay?' Hamish asked as he knelt down next to the kid.

"I miss my mummy!" The child bawled. "I was just in the park... a-and then I l-looked away and she.. she was g-gone. Can..." The child suddenly stopped talking when he looked at Hamish's, and had a scared look on his face.

"What is it?" Hamish asked.

"A...are you a demon?"

Hamish glared at the kid, it was back to the whole 'eye' thing again. Hamish put a look on his face, one that was colder than the hearts of all of your exes combined. He stood up and said "Yeah I am, now piss off before I eat you like I did to your dumb mummy." Hamish smiled as the kid ran away bawling, in his mind the brat deserved it.

Hamish walked off, and the sound of the kid crying about a demon coming to eat him could still be heard when Hamish heard someone say "Well, Hamish look at you breaking hearts again." The voice was lathered with sarcasm, so he knew whose voice it was before he even looked at them.

"Hello Lyra." He muttered softly as he spun around to see his neighbour standing there with a smug looking smile on her face. Lyra was one of those incredibly generically toned Caucasian women, you know those ones with only a slight tan but not much of one. She had brown hair that was in two separate ponytails, that was mostly covered by a huge white hat with a red ribbon on it. She was quite thin, being one of those psychopaths that perfectly measured their calorie intake every day. She was wearing a red shirt and was in denim overalls, which was the outfit Hamish assumed was her favourite due to the amount of times he had seen her in it. "You're late you know. That's why I left without waiting for you."

"Yeah I am, but I don't care."

"You know, the only reason you are getting a Pokemon is because my mum organized Elm to give me a Pokemon and he decided to be nice to you and let you have one of the spares. So maybe you could be like... you know not be so rude to me for once?" Hamish muttered as the two began to walk side by side, going down the road towards Professor Elm's place. It was obvious for anyone that could see them that Lyra was much taller than Hamish especially with Lyra's huge hat, a fact that she loved.

"Whatever Mr. 'You're a skanky bitch with a stupid hat'. You don't get to lecture me about not being rude."

Hamish shook his head "Hey I didn't swear. Also to be fair, that was after we just met and your first words to me were 'Oh god I hope my neighbour would be cute, not the world's shortest demon.' " Hamish said, trying his best to mimic Lyra's voice.

Lyra shook her head and said "That isn't how I remembered it."

"How did you remember it?"

"I said you were an anime midget that was possessed by a demon."

"Oh that's much better." Hamish muttered sarcastically.

Lyra looked like she was going to say something else but stopped when she noticed the large, shed-looking laboratory that was Professor Elm's laboratory. "Here we are then."

"Yeah." Hamish muttered as the two walked towards the door.

"Ummmm hello you two. So today is when you finally get Pokemon. Are you happy about that?"

Hamish and Lyra looked at each other before they turned back to Elm. He was looking at them like a scared deer looking at a car. It was like he was afraid the two were going to rob him or something. Hamish blamed it on his eyes. "Yeah yeah, just give us our Pokemon already." Lyra said, sounding obviously impatient.

Elm nodded with a nervous look on his face and said "Y... yeah sure." He pulled a suitcase off of the ground and plopped it onto the table, opening it and showing the contents to the two. Inside was three Pokeballs, with each one having a different little symbol above the lid. One had a water drop, one had a leaf and the last one had a small flame on them. However apart from this there was no way of telling the balls apart.

"Ummm, can we like see the Pokemon then please?" Hamish asked.

Elm nodded and said "Oh yeah... sorry yeah okay." apologizing like he was speaking to someone he just spilled boiling hot coffee on or something. He quickly grabbed the three Pokeballs and walked in front of his desk. He dropped the balls, releasing three Pokemon which from right to left were a small blue crocodile which was jumping around on the spot like it was full of energy, an anteater that occasionally shot fire from its back and a plant monster with a leaf on the top of its head that is was waving around slowly.

"You pick first Hamish."

"Why should I pick first?"

"You were the one who was just talking about how your mum was the only reason I get to pick a Pokemon, therefore you should pick first."

Hamish shrugged his shoulders "Okay then." He walked over towards the three Pokemon and crouched in front of the crocodile. "This thing looks dumb, and hyperactive. I think it has learning disabilities, I will give it a pass I don't feel like raising a Pokemon with down syndrome." Hamish moved over from the now angry looking crocodile to look at the anteater. "Why is this thing's eyes closed. It looks like it is timid and scared. And that fire looks like a safety hazard. No thanks." Hamish moved away from the now also annoyed looking anteater and over to the leaf head monster thing. He looked at it for a few second before saying "Yeah I will take this one."

"That's a Chikorita. It is a Grass Type Pokemon. Are you sure?" Elm asked.

Hamish picked up the Chikorita that seemed to blush as he held it. "Yeah I am. I want it."

Elm nodded "Okay. Now I guess it is your turn Lyra... Lyra?"

Elm hadn't even finished speaking as Lyra grabbed the Pokeball with the small flame symbol on it and had pressed the button on it, which engulfed that anteater Pokemon in a bright light and sucked it inside the small ball. "Yeah thanks Professor, I am picking this one. Now I would hate to stay and chat, so I am leaving. Bye."

"Wait Lyra..." Elm moved his hands as he saw Lyra run off, and she didn't stop, ignoring the weak plea from the timid professor. "Great, this is just what I needed. One of you running off without a Pokedex." He whimpered weakly before turning back to Hamish. "You know she picked the Pokemon with a type advantage over yours right?"

Hamish looked at him with a puzzled stare on his face, which just looked sinister with his creepy eyes. "What is a type advantage? And what does it do?" Professor Elm didn't respond to that, he just sighed and shook his head.