Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
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Blind
Are you blind?!
Can't you see she's in love with you?!
Of course you wouldn't. She hides it too well…
You don't realize how much it hurts her
to see you fall in love with others.
And the sad thing is, you will never know
what she is hiding…
Never see that she is the person standing beside you,
with her head held high and the kindest heart kept secret from the world.
You are blind.
You will never figure out who 'she' is,
Never experience her love.
Never see her warmth.
You are too busy looking in the other direction.
If only you realized, that if you turned around, 'she' was right beside you all along.
So, please, turn around.
Please...
Realize that 'she' is me...
I sigh, spying Jacob tagging after Bella like the lost little puppy he is. Why can't he see that she's not good for him? She's in love with a blood sucker for crying out loud! All she ever does is attract trouble! And we all know that the reservation doesn't need anymore! We have our own problems to worry about!
I laugh sadly, bitterly. Oh who am I kidding. He's never gonna notice me like that. Never going to know how much it hurts me when he talks about her like she's perfection incarnate. I'm the "best friend" with absolutely no chance of being out of the "friend-zone". Hell, by now I'm probably in the "family-zone." All he has eyes for is "beautiful, perfect Bella." Why can't he just love me? I look close enough to her! Black hair, chocolate brown eyes, a little on the short side, but with dimples to die for. Plus, I could love him more than she ever could! She already has the vamp, so why can't she just leave him to me!?
I sigh for what feels like the millionth time and try to keep the tears from falling down. I am so hopeless. Why can't I just get over him? There are plenty of other guys out there, and I know a few who would trip over themselves to be able to call themselves "my boyfriend". I let out a mix between a sob and a laugh. I know why. Just like he worships the ground she walks on, I worship the ground he walks on. Like he adores how she lights up whenever she's happy, I adore how he lights up whenever he's happy. Like how he hurts whenever she's sad or pining away for the blood sucker, I hurt so so so much whenever he's sad or pining away for her. He is my "Bella," the one I desire the most but can never ever have. Aren't we quite the pair?
Oh. Looks like Jacob finally noticed me. He waves at me; I wave back, trying to smile softly. I knew the smile didn't reach my eyes but it must have come off more sad than I wanted it to since he looks concerned. He's walking up to me now, but I don't want him to. I try to smile again to tell him I'm fine. He hesitates, but continues to walk towards me. I try to wave him off again, communicating with my eyes that I really truly am fine and that he has nothing to worry about. I don't want him to worry about me or pity me. He looks unsure but decides that I am fine, at least for now. He smiles softly at me, then walks back to her. I feel a pang in my chest, and my face scrunches up with pain. I make sure he doesn't see. I can't take this anymore. I turn on my heel and walk back inside the house, tears silently falling down my cheeks with every step. He is never going to know. He is never going to care. And worst of all, he is never going to be mine...