Disclaimer – Obviously not mine.
Author's Note – This came to me during a study break. My last undergraduate final is tomorrow. Yay! Anyway, I love Addison. She's like my favorite. I love Meredith, too. Honestly, not a huge Dr. McDreamy fan right now, though.
Addison looks down at her Buttered Rum, stirring it around. She doesn't know how to respond to Derek's declaration. Her eyes flicker over to her left hand, tightly holding the handle of her mug. The rings she was once so proud of glisten in the light of the bar. Suddenly, she knows what she had to say.
"I always knew you had fallen in love with her," she says, quietly. Derek looks up sharply at this remark. She continues on a little louder, "I guess its different hearing it aloud. If you didn't say it, then I could go on believing it wasn't true. I could go on believing you chose me because you loved me, and she was a fling or revenge."
She takes a breath before looking him in the eye. "I don't want you to be with me because you feel some obligation to our vows. You always hear people say, 'If you love someone enough, you'll let them go and hope they find their way home.' I hope that home's with me." Addison stands up and sticks her magazines in her bag. She turns her back to Derek and slips off the rings that symbolize everything sacred to her – her true love for Derek.
"Fly away, Derek, and find your way home. If it's not me, I'll be okay," she says before kissing him lightly on the lips. She knows its goodbye. She slips the rings into his hand and closes the fist, before walking out of Joe's with her head held him. Addison doesn't cry. She knows what she has to do next.
Meanwhile, Derek sits at the table wondering what the hell just happened. Addison's rings are still in his hand. He has what he wanted. He didn't have to make the choice. Addison did it for him. So, why did he feel so broken? Derek slips the rings into his bag. He knows, deep in his heart, what he has to do next.
Addison stops at a drug store and buys a Christmas card. She takes it back to her car and debates for the longest time what she wants to say. When she finally gets it written, she drives to the one place that will end it once and for all.
Meredith, George, and Izzie all hear the doorbell, but its Meredith who answers it. She is surprised to see Addison at the door. "What is it, Dr. Shepherd? Do you need to see Izzie?"
Meredith's statement gets both George and Izzie up to see why Addison would be at their house.
"Merry Christmas, Dr. Grey," Addison says, handing over the card. Again, Addison walks to her car with her head high; she knows what's going to happen next.
Meredith opens the card which reads:
I made the decision this time. He loves you. Take care of him. Merry Christmas, Meredith.
"What was that about?" George asks, after Meredith finishes the card.
"I'm not sure," she replies, honestly. She doesn't know what's going to happen next.
Derek pulls up in front of Meredith's house, knowing this is what he needs to do. He walks up to the door, so immersed in his thoughts that he doesn't see a familiar car parked just down the street. He knocks on the door, not knowing what's going to happen next.
Addison knew she was being a masochist, but she knew she needed to see it. She sees Meredith open the door, and Derek stand there looking scared. They exchange but a few words before Meredith put her arms around Derek. Derek, in turn, kisses her on the forehead. Meredith laughs at something before pulling a laughing Derek inside, also.
And Addison? For the first time in many months, Addison doesn't hold her head high. She lays it down on the steering wheel and cries.
Please review. This just hit me, and I really like it. I wrote it in 15 minutes, and I didn't bother to proof it.