Disclaimer: I don't own HP, nor do I own any other famous thing in this fic… oh, well…
One day, Hermione was bored, so she decided to be random the whole day. She first went down to the Gryffindor common room. She then saw Ron and Harry arguing over who had the better chance of getting married to Jessica Alba.
"Hi, guys!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Hey, Hermione…" Ron and Harry said in unison.
"I'm going to be really random today." Hermione said.
"Okay then." Harry said.
Hermione started jumping on the couches like Tom Cruise did when he was on the Oprah show. And then she started screaming, "I'm a blueberry muffin! Shoot me with a walrus and mount me on your wall!" She stopped 30 seconds later and went down to the dungeons for potions. When she arrived, Snape was writing the properties of flobberworm heads on the board. Hermione sat down in her desk and started picking her nose with another student's finger.
"You're late, Miss Granger." Snape said. "Five thousand points from Gryffindor for being late… and 120 more for picking your nose with another student's finger."
Hermione then randomly pulled a VCR out of her book bag and threw it at Snape. It hit him on the head and knocked him into a coma. The students then ran up to the unconscious professor and started randomly hitting him with baseball bats. Snape randomly exploded and candy went flying out of him.
Hermione skipped to the kitchens and stole all of the ice cream sandwiches and fed them to the hobos that lived in her mini-fridge. She then went to the common room.
Harry and Ron were still arguing and then Hermione randomly pulled out her tuba from her robe and started blasting the song "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. Harry and Ron's ear drums exploded and they had to go to the hospital to repair their ears.
Hermione then decided to visit her grandma Prudence who was a crazy old cat lady. Grandma Prudence was a very skinny lady who kept 5,000,000,000… (A billion zeros later…) …000 cats that were extremely obese. (345,000 pounds overweight to be exact.) The cats often scared Hermione because they were often dressed in scary outfits and they often bit her so bad, that she often had to get treated for rabies. Today, Hermione decided to shove them down a well and seal the well. When Grandma Prudence found out about this, she was not happy about it. She confronted Hermione. Hermione simply did this: She took a felt-tip pen and scribbled nerdy glasses and an extremely curly mustache onto the poor woman's face. Grandma Prudence tried to wash it off, but it wouldn't work. Grandma Prudence was so distraught that she hid in the basement.
Seeing that her work was done, Hermione walked back to Hogwarts and went to bed.
The End.