South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen! Behold!" Dr. Weird said. "My new assistant, Dr. Hand! Mwahahahaha!" He said holding up his pale bare fist with eyes drawn on the side of his index finger and a pair of lips drawn on the outside of his thumb.

"Um…ok" Steve replied .

"Don't be shy Steve, come closer and greet him" Dr. Weird insisted.

"…Alright" he said after a lengthy pause. "Welcome Dr. Hand" Steve said extending his hand to Dr. Weird's fist. Dr. Weird's fist shot out and using his thumb and index finger ripped off Steve's nose, making Steve scream.

"He's also a cannibal! Mwahhahahaha!" Dr. Weird laughed as Dr. Hand "chewed" Steve's nose. Steve rolled on the floor in pain as blood gushed out of his nose cavity.

Somewhere In New Jersey

"Where are they?" Master Shake screamed chasing Meatwad around the house with a length of pipe torn out from under the sink.

"I don't know!" Meatwad screamed as he tried serpentining to avoid getting whacked by the pipe.

"You little ground beef liar!" Shake screamed as he made a solid hit on Meatwad's squishy head. "You will return them now! And if you got my good pipe all sticky and meat smelling, I'm going to dump barbeque sauce on you and throw you in the dog kennel at the city pound!" Shake threatened making Meatwad cry.

"What's going on here?" Frylock asked floating into the room.

"Go on, tell him!" Shake shouted at Meatwad pointing his pipe at him. "Confess your sins, infidel!"

"I told you I did not take them" Meatwad said.

"Took what?" Frylock asked. Shake threw down his pipe, making it explode.

"My limited edition porn-star action figurine set!" Shake screamed. "He put them somewhere and this house will thunder with my wrath until I get them back!"

"I didn't take your dolls, boy" Meatwad said.

"Action figures! They are action figures!" Shake insisted.

"Whatever, I'm sure Meatwad didn't take them, you must have misplaced them" Frylock said.

"No, No! I remember clearly where I left them!" Shake shouted. "I was in the park, I put my action figures at the edge of the forest as bait to lure the Blair Witch out of hiding so I could capture her and sell her to science."

"I went to buy a hotdog…" Shake continued. "From the dork at the hotdog stand…and when I came back they were gone" Shake said. He pulled a shotgun from behind his back and pointed it at Meatwad. "Tell me where they are you little thief! Tell me so I can blow your face off!" Frylock knocked the gun away from Meatwad's face and said,

"Meatwad has been here all day! There's no way he could have taken them."

"That's right! I was asleep until you came at me in my room with the pipe!" Meatwad said annoyed.

"Well…well…I am livid! And he was asking for it!" Shake screamed.

"By doing what? Lying down with my eyes closed?" Meatwad asked.

"Yes! You bring it on yourself, little man!" Shake shouted.

"Look Shake, let's just head down to the park and retrace your steps. You were at the edge of the woods, bought a hotdog, and…" Frylock said.

"The hotdog dork!" Shake said. "That *clown horn*! He took them! I was on the right trail but I accused the wrong meaty bastard! To the park! Aqua Teen Hunger Force assemble!"

"We're already here" Meatwad said.

"Shut up and follow me!" Shake commanded, exiting the house.

At the Park

The teenaged, minimum wage, pimply, hot dog cart attendant was minding his own business, turning hot dogs on the grill when Shake ran up to his cart screaming.

"Where are they you underpaid delinquent!" Shake screamed. "Tell me where you put them!" The teenager pushed Shake back and slugged him hard across the face. What Shake had failed to realize is that underpaid, lonely, food workers have nothing to lose; thus making them highly dangerous and violent. The teenager continued his assault by repeatedly kicking Shake in the face and sides.

"Hey" Frylock said calmly to the teen. "My friend misplaced his dolls-"

"Action…figures!" Shake wheezed spitting blood out of his mouth.

"Yeah…" Frylock continued. "Have you seen them anywhere?"

"Nope, I've been here for hours and I haven't seen anything" the teenager replied. "Sorry I couldn't help."

"That's alright, we appreciate your time" Meatwad said.

"No problem" the teen said. He turned back to Shake who still wheezed on the ground. "You guys mind if I continue with your buddy's ass whuppin?"

"Hell no, keep on going" Meatwad said smiling. The teen straddled Shake's cup body and continued punching Shake in the face. "Hey, flip him over" Meatwad said picking up a large bratwurst from the grill. "Let's see if he can digest this backwards."

Frylock floated away towards home, ignoring Shake screaming in the background, "NOOOOOOO!"

"I can't help but wonder what happened to those dolls…" Frylock said.

Carl's House

Carl Sat in his boxers in front of a candlelit dinner with the porn star dolls on the other end of the table.

"Ladies, I'm so glad youse could join me for dinna" Carl said to the eight inch dolls. "I entertain so many gals it was hard for me to fit youse in my schedule. A lot of da broads dat come over here play games, so I thought I'd have better luck wit gals who dressed like hoe-bags. You all won't play games wit me will ya?" Carl asked pushing the talking button on one of the dolls backs, activating the prerecorded realistic porn star catch phrases.

"I'm not *duck quacking* one more person till we re-negotiate my contract!" the doll said.

"No, No, no! None of dis is going on paper. That's how da cops catch ya, wit a paper trail. You hoes are takin cash" Carl argued with the inanimate object.

"You're paying me double or you're getting nothing!" the doll said when Carl pressed the button again.

"You ain't dat pretty, you bitch!" Carl said throwing the doll across the room. "Screw dis! I'm goin' to da video store and renting some skin flicks" he said stuffing some mozzarella sticks in his pocket for the road.

The End.

*Dancing is Forbidden! Theme*