Teaser: What happens to Ken when everyone he knows seems to be saying his name aloud whenever he's not around? (Shounen-ai abounds. EveryonexKen. Final pairing is a surprise!)

What brought this on? A cute little scene in the manga Love Mode and excessive amount of manga and anime taken daily. Think of this as a parody of different types of anime all mixed together in a Weiss blender. Inspired by schu-chan's "Fighting for Ken" a fic so much better than this one.

Wai's Disclaimer: You honestly think a couple of college students can own any of these wonderful characters? I think not!

Sneeze

Ken scrunched up his face adorably, eyes squeezing shut, before he sneezed rather loudly. The loud sneeze stopped all chatters as all at once all of the fangirls attention focused on him.

"Are you alright Ken-kun?"

"You're not catching a cold are you, Ken-san?"

"Some orange juice might help you, Ken-sama!" [1]

He sneezed five more times. Of course, that didn't help his situation at all, turning rather pale at the sheer number of concerned fangirls, he muttered something about allergies and fled the shop.

Omi was the first to blink. For once he wasn't the one manhandled—fangirl handled? —and it was a rather nice feeling. But as soon as the backdoor closed and the girls sighed, they suddenly realized there were other guys in the room who required their undying attention.

"Do you think Ken-kun will be alright, Youji-kun?" One of the girls who were hanging on Youji's arm asked. The playboy raised his eyebrow. He was about to say that Ken should be fine, but an idea formed in his head and before you know it, the resident playboy flashed his most charming smile.

"I'm not sure. He does seem a little sick, doesn't he? I'll go check!" He exclaimed gallantly, striding towards the door. Only to find one Fujimiya Aya attached to it. Well, maybe not attached to it per se, but he sure didn't look like he was about to let go of the door handle or move away from the door any time soon.

"Aya? Are YOU concerned about our Kenken too?" Youji asked, feigning shock. In fact, all the girls looked frozen between shock and some sort of morbid fascination. The seemingly dazed looks were starting to unnerve the normally undeterred leader of Weiss. But hell, everyone has their fears, right?

Aya's just happen to involve two and a half dozen fan girls who looked like they were about to jump him, tie him up and sacrifice him to whatever bishounen Gods they had. That or his imagination's run off on him...again.

While Aya was contemplating, however, his grip on the door went slack and he realized it—too late—when Youji pushed past him to go get their missing comrade. He gritted his teeth, but didn't say anything. He had an image to maintain, you know!

Meanwhile, in another part of Tokyo, another group of assassin was having a slight dilemma.

There was a low and distinctive growl that was emitting from—not their resident psychopath—Schuldich. The German was currently in the midst of a staring match with Crawford, either of them refusing to back down. Defeat. was not. an option.

One Naoe Nagi stood in the sideline, torn between the urge to roll his eyes or have himself locked up in the nearest mental institute. Better yet, have both his teammates locked up. Farfarello looked all the more sane next to these two idiots.

"You dare call him yours?" Schuldich gritted out.

"I don't see why you think Ken is yours, Schuldich." Crawford bit back, ever the professional. Cue sneeze number one from an unsuspecting assassin, on the other side of Tokyo.

"You dare question me about my Ken?" He took a step towards Crawford. "My Ken?" And then another. "MY KEN???" [2] He shouted shrilly. Nagi winced. Farfarello was momentarily distracted from counting his knife collection while Crawford...

"You shouldn't claim ownership to something you don't own." Crawford's eyes were practically flashing with anger. And before they could kill each other, Nagi shouted.

"Would you please end this madness?" Two annoyed glares were directed at him. Annoyed due to the fact that they were being distracted from their current preoccupation, trying to murder the other.

"As much as I like Ken myself, I don't understand why you have to fight over him!" Exclaimed Nagi. "Can't you just wait and let Ken decide for himself?"

There was an exchange of looks, before the two older members of Schwarz shouted in unison, "NO!" Far away, on the other side of town, one florist sneezed five more times.

"My, someone sure is catching a cold." Drawled Youji as he plopped down next to Ken. The brunet scowled, but then sighed.

"I don't know what's wrong. I mean that sneeze came out of nowhere!" He paused, leaning his head back to rest on the couch. "Someone must have said my name, somewhere." He murmured.

"Six consecutive times?" Youji asked, raising an eyebrow. "They must really love you, Kenken." Ken sat up, glaring at his companion.

"Is it so unbelievable to you that someone might actually like me?" He demanded, but the defiant look quickly deflated as he realized that the blond had him conveniently pinned against the couch.

"Of course not!" Was the cheerful reply he received. "You know you're irresistible, bishounen!" Ken made a funny sound that seemed to be a cross between a croak and an eek, as Youji leaned over to give him a kiss.

Unfortunately for Youji—and fortunately (?) for Ken—Murphy's Law seemed to apply everywhere in Tokyo that day, particularly for one assassin. Before Youji's lips could even touch the frozen florist's, Ken promptly sneezed.

Twice.

And then clawed his way out of the trapped position Youji had him in. He leapt to his feet, clutching his chest, staring as Youji wiped his face and cleaned his sunglasses and then turned tail and ran for his life back to his room.

At the same time, in the flower shop, Omi was watching Aya with concern. The normally cold and unfeeling assassin was manhandling the flowers for the ikebana with such ferocity that the fangirls were starting to inch away from him. Seeing the fear in the fangirls' eyes, Omi sighed, before daring himself to go over to where the bloodthirsty assassin was working.

"Aya-kun?"

"Hn."

"Are you alright?" Apparently he had asked the wrong question, as he was rewarded with a death glare that seemed to have been stolen from one Heero Yuy.

"Fine." He managed with a monotone, obviously stolen from said Gundam pilot. The florist/assassin chose to ignore this fact, however and maintained his cheery nature.

"Are you sure? You seemed rather angry after Youji-kun went to get-"

"That no-good Kudo." Growled Aya. "Just wait, I'll make him pay." There was a vengeful glint in Aya's eyes when this was said. Omi laughed nervously, it was his turn to inch away from Aya, apparently.

"Maybe you should check what's happening back there?" Omi suggested. "I'll take care of things here." Aya paused, staring at Omi for a while. When it was starting to unnerve the youngest Weiss member, however, Aya finally nodded.

"I'll go check what that Kudo's doing." His voice suddenly dropped as he headed to the back. "If he so much as touches Ken...Ken's mine dammit!" Luckily no one heard him mutter and to the fangirls' excitement and to Omi's dismay, all attention was now focused on the young florist.

Ken was staring at the ceiling, trying to think of what brought on this sudden bout of sneezing. His face blushed slightly, remembering Youji.

Sorry Yotan, he thought with a cringe.

The playboy had left him alone after the brunet had sneezed on him. What a well timed sneeze too. Both of them. Ken brought a hand to scrub his face, then to slap his cheek.

"Am I going crazy?" He asked to no one in particular. But that question seemed to have been perfectly timed with a knock on his door. Could it have been fate, kismet? Destiny? Or none of them altogether, since all he did was repeat the same ideology using different terms anyway?

Or maybe it's due to the sheer amount of clichés floating around? Who knows?

NOTES:

[1] – Parody of "Ryoma-sama" which is what Tomo-chan calls Ryoma-kun; Prince of Tennis

[2] – Parody of Gravitation anime Eps. 8 when Shuichi confronted Aizawa Taki shouting, "Ore no Yuki? Ore no Yuki?! Ore no~~!" Wai's favorite episode.

We decided to end it here and see how it goes. Who knows, if enough people like it, we'll post the second part up. :D