Drunk Inigo Montoya: You told me to go back to the beginning, so here I am!

Ed: What the hell? Why is he here?

AdventureAddict: Because Frodo refused to come back. Said he was tired of being insulted, or something like that.

Ed: What? And you actually let him out of it? -mutters- Why didn't I think of that...?

Drunk Inigo Montoya: This is the beginning, and this is where I'll stay!

Ed: -glares- Oh, shut up! I miss the short guy! ...Why are we here again?

AdventureAddict: Because I'm rewriting New Neighbors! And because I kinda missed these Author's Notes!

Ed: Joy. I didn't miss these notes.

AdventureAddict: But the story's better now! And it makes more sense! And, and-!

Ed: Joy.

AdventureAddict: You're no fun.

Drunk Inigo Montoya: My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father-!

Ed: -hits- SHUT UP!

Chapter One - Bottoms Up

"It's one of the most baffling cases we've had yet."

Ed sighed and examined his fingernails. Why was he there again? Oh, yeah, because he was using the military in order to have access to more resources so he could restore Al. And himself, of course. And using the military meant letting the military use you in return. Ed sighed and started picking at the dirt under his nails.

"The killer murders every subject in the exact same way—he always kills women, and they've always been stabbed through the chest and have had their hair dyed black and their eyes gouged out, and we assume he goes through at least one hour of torturing each victim, and—FULLMETAL, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Ed sighed without even glancing up from his nails. "Crazy psycho murderer guy. If he provides such a clear pattern, why are you guys having trouble catching him?"

"Well, if you would let me continue-"

"You interrupted yourself, Colonel Idiot."

Roy closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples for a half a minute before he took a deep breath and started speaking again. "As I was saying, he's not hard to track, since he has such a simple pattern, but some of his murders have been reported to occur at the exact same time. In opposite sides of the town."

Ed barely batted an eye. "Accomplice."

"We thought so too. But we had two different men headed towards each reported area, and each man reported seeing the suspect, chased him for a few minutes, and then apparently, the man vanished in front of their very eyes. The same man on two different sides of town vanished at the exact same time."

At that, Ed finally sat up properly and frowned, deep in thought. "That's why you're bringing me in, huh?"

"He might be using a Philosopher's Stone to create temporary dolls or something," Roy said, swinging his chair so that he was staring out the window instead of at Ed. Ed nodded and placed his hands on his knees before standing up with a grunt.

"He's using something alright. It's worth a shot."

Roy spun his chair back around. "I thought you might agree."

Ed made a face at Roy and crossed his arms across his chest. "Just tell me where, bastard."

"Rubeccula."

Ed held a straight face for half a minute before he broke out in a smirk. "Sounds like a deadly disease. I'll tell Al. We'll be on the next train."

Roy smirked back at Ed and nodded. "Good." Ed nodded back and headed for the door. "Er, Fullmetal-" Roy called, and Ed sighed and turned back around, his hand still gripping the doorknob. Silence passed between the two for a minute.

"Don't go dying on me. The paperwork would be murder."

Ed paused and then smirked. "Aw, you make me tempted to die just to see the hassle kill you. Too bad I'm not going to let an old fart outlive me, even if only by a few days."

And with that, Ed opened the door and left the room. Roy leaned back in his chair and smirked.

T-H-I-S—I-S—A—D-I-V-I-D-I-N-G—L-I-N-E

Ed sighed and stretched out his arms behind his head as he walked down the street. Al glanced over at him and shook his head.

"You're not going to find the murderer just by walking around the town in circles," Al said with a sigh. Ed smirked and looked up at Al.

"Oh, yeah, you wanna bet?"

"Brother…" Al groaned and looked away from Ed. "Do you know something you aren't telling me?" Ed's smirk widened, and he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Just a hunch," he muttered.

The two walked for another minute in silence before they reached a corner. Al continued walking, but Ed stopped at the corner and looked up at the street signs. Al paused and looked back at him.

"Brother…?"

"This is the corner we're supposed to be at," Ed said simply. Al took a couple steps back towards Ed.

"You do know something! And you haven't told me! What's going on?"

"Eh, it's ridiculous," Ed said with a shrug. "I don't even believe it, I'm just going along with it."

"You think that I wouldn't believe whatever you're hiding from me after all we've seen?" Al snorted and took another step towards Ed. "Coming from the mouth of my own brother, at that? I don't like you keeping secrets from me, Brother! If we can't trust one another, who can we trust?"

Ed sighed and looked down at his feet.

"Brother, please!"

"Fine, fine," Ed said with a sigh. "Someone told me that the killer was going to show up at seven o'clock tonight at this intersection looking for you and me."

"That's it?" Al cocked his head to one side, and Ed looked up with a sheepish grin. "Well… Who told you?"

"Well… you see… that's kinda the funny bit…" Ed stammered as he started scratching the back of his head. "The person who told me was… uh… me."

Al paused. "Huh?"

"I… uh… a me from the future came and told me that he would be here at this corner at seven."

"Time travel?"

Ed made a face, looked down at the ground and scratched his head harder. "Yeah. Time travel. That's how this murderer guy is getting away with all these murders."

"And something's going to happen tonight that makes it so you can time travel too?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Ed said with a shrug. Both boys went silent for a minute before Al spoke up again.

"You can do that?"

Ed shrugged. "Either it's possible or it was Envy."

"Did your future self say anything that gave a hint either way?"

"He said my middle name right off the bat."

Al went silent for a minute considering what Ed had told him. "Only me and mom know that."

"And dad," Ed added with a nod. "Well, and me, of course. Winry doesn't even know."

"So… do you think it really was a future you?"

Ed shrugged. "I'm still not sure. I thought I'd do what he… I… said and see if it actually came true."

"And that means being at this corner at seven o'clock."

"Yep."

"Oh."

The two went silent for a minute before Al turned and hit Ed on the back of the head. "You still should have told me! You or your future self!"

"Ow! Come on, Al, if you think about it, I've told you now, so technically my future self had told you! Ow! Al!"

"He told future Al, not me!"

"They're the same person! You're getting too confusing!"

"Edward Elric."

Ed and Al paused in their bickering to look and see who else had entered the conversation. On the opposite side of the street stood a man with short cropped hair, a mustache, and was wearing a white suit. Ed stared at the man for a minute before glancing upwards at the town clock, and then back down.

"Well, whadda ya know, it actually happened like he said," Ed said with a smirk toward the man. "Okay, bastard, what do you want with me?"

"You're close to Roy Mustang, right?" the man asked as he crossed the street to stand closer to Ed. Ed frowned and looked the man over.

"Well, I wouldn't say we're best buddies, but yeah, I know the guy."

"And he was the one who sent you on a mission to capture me, correct?"

"Wait, how do you—"

"So answer me this question, Edward Elric," the man continued, leaning forward and licking his lips. "If this mission is so important to Mr. Flame Alchemist, why did he send a child out instead of going out to catch the murderer himself?"

"I dunno, he's a busy guy," Ed said with a slight growl as his frown deepened while he stared at the man.

"I'll tell you why. I've already seen you in the future, Edward Elric. I have not seen Roy Mustang. The card of the future have already been played. No matter ow much I want Mustang, it's you I'll end up with."

Ed frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, looked up at Al for a second, and then looked back at the man.

"What's your game?" Ed growled.

"My game is this," the man replied with a smirk as he pulled a small vial out of his pocket. "I've been following you, Edward Elric. And I collected a sample of your biological code. And this vial will make it so you'll be able to jump through time and space. Imagine if you could go back in time and change all the mistakes you've done."

Ed's breath paused for a slight second as he flicked his eyes up towards Al, and then he flicked his eyes back downward. He stared at the man in the white suit for a minute before he took the vial away from his outstretched hand. The man smirked.

"But what if I choose to believe in time being rigid so that if I were to go back in time, I wouldn't change anything?" Ed said as he stared at the vial of liquid. "Maybe I go back in time to change some horrible choice, and then find out that I was the driving force that made me choose the choice I did in the first place?"

The man in the white suit hesitated. Ed hid a smirk. He had thought that the man had been talking like that was the case, and then he had tried to sell Ed into time traveling with the idea that he could change the past? What a joke.

Ed hesitated. Sure, it seemed ridiculous, but if that was the way time really was, then sooner or later, he would end up drinking the liquid in the vial, either by force or choice. Because sooner or later, he ended up time traveling. So what would convince him to drink the vial?

"It won't only make you able to travel through time, it will make you able to travel through dimensions. Imagine if you could simply hop over to a world where Philosopher's Stones were abundant, grab one for yourself, and then hop back to your own world to fix your brother?"

Ed's fingers twitched on the vial. He wasn't sure how the man knew about Al, but he wasn't surprised either. The man was a time traveler himself, after all. Ed glanced up at Al, and then back down again.

And then he froze. Something had been wrong, very wrong. He looked back up again, and felt his breath hitch in his chest.

Al's eye sockets had stopped glowing. Ed placed a hand on Al, but as he did so, the suit of armor fell to the ground. Ed jumped back with a cry, and then turned and glared at the man.

"Don't worry, he's not gone forever," the man said with a smirk. "I knew this would work out in my favor, but I never had any idea just how well it would work out!"

"What's going on?!" Ed snapped as he lunged for the man, the vial clenched tightly in his fist.

"Your brother's soul has been doubly tied. There's a suit of armor in another world with a blood seal that's calling to him. The two blood seals share some connection or something, I don't know, I don't study alchemy."

"Two worlds? Ed blinked, and then stared down at the vial in his hand.

Of course. Maybe the future really was already laid out. If anything would make him chug some chemical that could make him time travel and hop between dimensions, it would be the worry of Al not being safe.

"So this… potion thing… will make me able to go find him?" Ed said slowly and looked up at the man.

"Yes."

Ed stared at the vial for another minute before he sighed, closed his eyes, and shook his head.

"I'm insane," he muttered. He then looked up at the man and uncorked the vial. "Bottoms up."

And with that, he chugged the liquid in the vial.

Ed: -glances around- Hey, where's that other annoying girl, anyway?

AdventureAddict: Kairi? Well, we don't have a social studies period during which to torment you anymore, so I've got to fly solo now.

Ed: Really? YES! -dances-

-bolt of lightning strikes Ed-

Ed: -falls over-

AdventureAddict: Don't forget, I'm still the author.

Ed: -coughs- Says you! It's my life!

AdventureAddict: Oh, that reminds me, I didn't do the disclaimer at the beginning.

Ed: She doesn't own me. Much. There.

-lightning strikes Ed again-

Ed: -coughs- The hell was that for?!

AdventureAddict: -grins- Because it's funny.

Ed: Where's that Inigo guy? Torture HIM!

AdventureAddict: You knocked him out.

Ed: ...Damn.