Kim Shepard opened her email with a sigh. The Illusive Man again. She didn't know why she was alive, had no idea what he wanted with her, and wouldn't trust him with a cactus let alone the lives of humankind.

Deal struck with Zaeed Massani, the email stated. Shepard snorted to herself. She was the one in charge of this ship, not the Illusive bastard. She would decide who came aboard and who would be her crew.

That said, she liked the sound of this Massani. She thought she had heard the name before, and an extranet search quickly told her why. A capable and tough mercenary, by all accounts, now mostly making a living through tracking down criminals and claiming the rewards. He had been around the block more than a few times, and that's just what Shepard needed right now. She was sick of dealing with Jacob and Miranda's Cerberus bullshit, and a straight talking soldier would be a breath of fresh air around the place.

It didn't take her long to track him down on Omega. The shouting would have been a giveaway, if not the smell. The batarian Zaeed was threatening had clearly lost control of his bowels, and lay cowering on the floor at the mercenary's feet. Shepard grinned at the fear on the batarian's face and held out her hand for Massani to shake.

"You must be Shepard, I take it," Zaeed said, his voice rough and husky.

"Got that right," Shepard said, taking the opportunity to look him up and down. She liked what she saw. Massani was considerably older than her, true, but he was hard-muscled and had clearly seen a few bitter fights as the scars on his face testified. He was expressionless and unruffled by her examination, and Shepard was pleased to find someone who wasn't intimidated by her or her reputation.

"You agree to my conditions then?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. She was not used to people laying down rules in order to be part of her squad. This would have to be squashed pretty fast if he was to be any use to her.

"You should be grateful to be considered good enough to work with me, Massani. I hardly think you're in a position to be dictating conditions," she said.

Zaeed laughed, low and harsh. "Knew the old bastard wouldn't tell you. Not asking for much, Shepard, just got a small mission needs done with before I can focus on being a big goddamn hero and helping you save the galaxy. I don't need you any more than you need me, but we would both do better working together. So what do you say?"

She wanted to tell him to stick it where the sun doesn't shine, that arrogance got you killed and that there was no place for cocky fools on her team. Problem was, the man was right. And when it came down to their mission, ultimately Shepard knew that she had to take what she could get. She gritted her teeth.

"Fine. We'll do your small mission. Ship's that way – report in. I'll brief you properly later."

"Aye aye, Ma'am."

Massani smirked at her, casually shot the batarian in the head and sauntered off towards the Normandy. Shepard watched him go with a frown. She didn't think much of the sarcasm and swagger the mercenary was displaying, but she was confident she could lick him into shape without too much trouble. She had worked with worse.

"Making yourself at home I see, Massani," Shepard said, leaning against the door of the starboard cargo hold and watching Zaeed taking apart and oiling his rifle.

"Don't have a home, Shepard, here's as good as anywhere to me," Zaeed said, not even looking up from his work.

Shepard walked in and crouched on the floor next to where he sat. "I like to get to know who I'm working with. Care to tell me a bit about yourself?"

"Not much to tell. I kill people for money. Your guys have paid me to be here, so I'll kill people for you. Isn't that all you need to know?"

Shepard sighed. This man would be a challenge. Still, never let it be said that she didn't enjoy a challenge.

"So what led you to this career? How does a person become a merc?"

"Lots of things, Shepard. None of which I particularly want to talk about. Sorry," said Zaeed, looking nothing of the sort.

Shepard knew when she was beaten.

"Okay, so at least tell me about this mission you want us to help with. I need to know more."

"Pretty simple stuff, really. The Blue Suns have taken over the refinery at Zorya. Need to drive them out and reclaim the facility. Like I said, a small mission." Zaeed shrugged, his expression inscrutable.

"Well then. I'll add it to my list of things to do," Shepard said, retreating to the door.

"Make sure of it," Zaeed called out, as she left the room.

She wasn't lying to the man, she had every intention of asking Joker to set a course for Zorya in due time. It just wasn't top of her list of priorities. Besides, she didn't yet trust Zaeed not to take her help with his contract and then disappear. She wanted to check him out first, see what he was made of.

There was one more mission she needed to take care of before undocking from Omega. She'd received a dossier from the Illusive Man with information that an infamous rogue sniper named Archangel was operating from the station and that he would make a good addition to the squad. From what she had read, Archangel was one of the most hated people on Omega and had managed to unite the three main mercenary groups against him, trying to take him down. So far, even with their combined might, they had not succeeded. Impressive, Shepard thought, I could use skills like that.

And so it was that they were in Afterlife, the music thumping painfully through Shepard's skull.

The arrogant asari, Aria, was able to give Shepard some more information about Archangel. He had apparently been taking out Omega's criminals at an eye-opening rate, ironically reducing the overall violent crime statistics on the station and pissing off some pretty nasty people along the way. There was a current push to finish him off once and for all, and he was believed to be cornered down past Kima District. The local merc groups were looking for people to make the advance. Cannon fodder, most likely.

Shepard had no hesitation in signing up. This was the quickest and best way to get to Archangel and, especially with Zaeed by her side, nobody doubted her credentials as a capable mercenary.

She stood at the end of the bridge which led to Archangel's hideout. She had seen several other groups pass that way, and they had all scattered under the hail of bullets being fired from the balcony overhead.

"Shield up," she commanded to Zaeed and Miranda who hovered at her shoulder. "Let's go get him."

She may have been surprised at the lack of shots fired at them as they crossed the bridge, a single bullet bouncing off her shields. She was more surprised when she reached Archangel and discovered who he really was.

"Garrus!"

She couldn't keep the delight out of her voice. Here at last was someone who really knew her and who she knew she could trust with her life in battle.

Someone who was very nearly taken away from her again by the roar of the gunship's cannons mere minutes later. She raced with him back to the Normandy, hoping against hope that Dr Chakwas' skill and the supplies in the medbay were enough to save his life. She was covered in blood, both blue and red, mixing together in a cruel parody of a child's innocent paint splattered artwork. Chakwas met her at the door, prising her hand from Garrus' limp talons and closing the door firmly in her face.

"She needs room to work, Shepard," Miranda said, touching her shoulder. "Give her some space."

"Oh, piss off, Lawson," Shepard shot back. "What would you understand about human emotions, you genetically engineered bitch?"

Miranda visibly recoiled and disappeared into her office. Shepard heard a chuckle from behind her.

"Harsh, Shepard," Zaeed appeared at her left shoulder. "Never knew you had such a temper on you."

"Look, Zaeed, one of my only friends in the world is in that room half-dead, I'm covered in his blood and just when I thought that I had found some sanity in this fucked-up world I have to stand by and watch as some batarian bastard tries to take him away from me. You think that was temper, just keep talking and you'll find out what temper really is."

Zaeed held up his hands and took a step back. "Whoa, sweetheart, just sayin'. What's the deal between you two, anyway? Thought turians and humans were mortal enemies."

Shepard twisted her body and in a split second she had the mercenary pinned up against the wall, leaning her full weight against him and with one knee raised to keep him there. "Number one, you will not call me sweetheart. Number two, Garrus is my friend, not that that is any of your business, and you will not speculate on my private life while you are on my ship. Are we clear?"

They remained frozen in position, her eyes flashing with anger and her lip trembling with the effort of holding back tears. Zaeed regarded her with a calm expression, though she could feel he was breathing faster. The air between them was tense and loaded with… what, she did not know.

Finally she backed off, spinning on her heel and stalking into the elevator, pressing the button for her cabin before Zaeed could join her.

"Clear," he said softly, to the closed door of the elevator.

Suspicious as Shepard was of the man, she couldn't fault Zaeed's commitment to his contract with her. He was a loyal, committed fighter, despite his regular insubordination and his refusal to acknowledge her as his superior. Even Garrus – thankfully recovered from his terrible injuries and proudly bearing the scars – seemed to have respect for him. That counted for a lot, in Shepard's book.

It also helped that he was patiently assisting her with missions without asking about his own. She knew that it must be on his mind, but he seemed to trust her to keep to her side of the bargain. She thought she would do just that, and was about to ask Joker to head to Zorya when a call came through from the Illusive Man.

What she heard rocked her back on her heels. Intel had come through that the Collectors were targeting a human colony on Horizon, a small planet which had recently received defensive capabilities provided by the Alliance. Alliance officers were still present calibrating these turrets, led by one Kaidan Alenko. Shepard's blood ran cold when the Illusive Man said his name, almost gleefully.

Kaidan. Shepard struggled for breath. She remembered the last time she had seen him like it was yesterday. For her, it wasn't long ago. For him, it would be over two years. She remembered sending him away, ordering him to the escape pods in a haze of smoke and terror. She remembered the times before that, limbs entwined and soft kisses, murmurs of adoration. His honey-coloured eyes, brimming with emotion. She had never been worshipped like that before.

It had been too painful to think of him since she had died. Nobody would tell her where he was and she had no way to contact him, so she had pushed the memories of the all too few nights they had spent together to the back of her mind, and concentrated on reinventing herself, on defeating her enemies as she always had.

But now… now, Kaidan was in danger and it was down to her to get there in time to warn him.

"Joker!" she called out over the comm system. "We need to get to Horizon ASAP."

"Roger that, Commander," Joker said, and she felt the familiar but subtle shift of the ship beneath her feet. She messaged Zaeed and Garrus to suit up and meet her on the command deck and began to prepare for what could be the worst mission of her life.

Too late. They were too late. Shepard's heart was beating in her throat as she surveyed the wreckage of the colony, only a few of its residents remaining. Those who were left behind were paralysed in some form of stasis, posed like grisly statues depicting the terror of the attack. She swallowed hard to quell the rising panic in her chest and tried to stop herself running from body to body searching for the one man she wanted to see more than anyone else.

Press on, Shep. Be professional. She focused on her inner voice, and kept going through the horrors surrounding her. Kept on taking down the husks, the scions, the bone-shuddering Collectors. If it took her mind off what might have happened to the man she had once shared her bed with, she would kill anything that was put in front of her without a moment's hesitation. She just hoped she was still saving Kaidan, not avenging him.

Shepard was exhausted by the time the three of them took down the Praetorian, a mobile Reaper-controlled unit fortified with particle beams. It was one of the toughest fights she had experienced, and she knew they had only managed it by working as a perfectly harmonious team. She turned to thank Zaeed and Garrus, and was brought up short by the old mechanic they had encountered earlier, the only conscious colonist they had seen.

"Get after that ship!" he was shouting, hysterical, pointing towards where the Collector ship had been docked. It had disengaged from the planet and disappeared shortly after they had killed the Praetorian. "Half our colony is on that ship! Get them back!"

"I'm sorry. I did what I could," she told him, knowing that it was too late for those on board.

"You did more than most would, Shepard," said Garrus, his voice melodic and gentle in her ear, his hand resting on her shoulder. She was grateful for his steady presence, always there to fortify her when things were tough.

"Not nearly enough!" The mechanic was screaming now, his hands curled into fists. She watched him with some trepidation and saw the exact moment the penny dropped after Garrus' words.

"Wait," he said, eyes widening. "Shepard. I know that name. Some kind of big Alliance hero, aren't you? So where were you when..."

"Commander Shepard. Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Saviour of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

Shepard felt as if she was going to faint. There, standing in front of her, was Kaidan Alenko, just as she remembered him. Dark hair swept back from his forehead, chestnut eyes more serious than perhaps they used to be. Olive skin, the scars around his lips which were so much more obvious when he smiled. He wasn't smiling now.

"Shepard," he said, pain in his voice, in his eyes. In three strides he was in front of her and she was in his arms, curling against him as if she was a plant seeking the sun. He felt the same, she thought, he smelled the same. Her Kaidan. She sighed and felt as if she breathed out all the toxicity of her life since the fateful day that the SR-1 fell.

"Kaidan," she said into his chest. "It's been too long. I missed you."

Suddenly she was staggering back as he pushed away from her, her body feeling cold in the absence of his arms.

"You missed me, Shepard? How do you suppose I felt? How can you just show up here and act like nothing's happened? I thought you were dead. All this time, I thought you were dead. Why didn't you try to contact me, let me know you were alive?"

Shepard cringed. She had never heard this tone in Kaidan's voice before, never thought he would be capable of such bitterness.

"I was dead, Kaidan. For two years. It took Cerberus that long to rebuild my body. I'm sorry, I wanted to see you but nobody would tell me where you were. I -" she broke off at the flinty look in her former lover's eyes.

"I see. Cerberus, is it? Damn you, Shepard, you know what they are. It wouldn't surprise me if they were behind all these attacks, and now they have you in their pocket," Kaidan said, his voice rising.

"Kaidan, please," she tried, stepping towards him.

He turned his face to one side. "I thought we had something, Shepard. Something real. I… I loved you. But now… you've turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me."

Shepard looked broken, her arms hanging loose by her sides, blinking hard. "But you know me, Kaidan. You know I would only do this for the right reasons."

She hated the wheedling tone she could hear in her voice, the pain and desperation she felt spilling out of her like acid.

"I want to believe you, Shepard," Kaidan said, all anger leaving him now. Now he just sounded sad. "But you've changed. I'm still an Alliance soldier and I always will be. I know where my priorities lie. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to file this report. Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful."

With those parting words, Kaidan left her standing in the middle of the battlefield, feeling as if she had never been more alone. She had to swallow hard to stop tears from springing to her eyes. Of all the things she had expected from Kaidan, this coldness had not been on the list.

At least I know where I stand now. She breathed in hard and straightened her shoulders before turning to face Garrus and Zaeed, who were standing silently and watching her with still expressions.

"We're done here, let's head back to the Normandy," she said brusquely.

"You okay, Shepard?" Garrus said, obvious concern in his flanged voice.

"Never better, thanks Garrus. Come on, I've had enough of this godforsaken colony. I'll radio Joker," she said, lifting her omnitool.

They stood quietly, waiting for their shuttle to pick them up, when Zaeed sidled over to her and spoke in her ear, barely loud enough for her to hear him.

"If you ask me, Shepard, that man's a fool."

Her eyes went wide and she was struggling to formulate a response when the shuttle landed and Zaeed vaulted aboard.