If You Only Knew

Summary: Isabella Swan is a young woman who is just looking for her place in the world, more importantly in Forks, Washington. Edward Masen is a young solider about to deploy for active duty. The two meet, sparks fly, promises are made, and hearts are broken.

Chapter One

I can hear the screaming in the background. I can feel the fear take over my body, and I can hear the gunshots. I know it's a dream, yet I can force myself to wake up. The only reason I know that I'm dreaming is because I've yet to be deployed. It will be my second deployment, and I'm only nineteen years old. I fear that my young life might end before it truly has a chance to begin. Though I signed up for this life and I am a man of my word. I will not give up, not until I am unable to complete my work anymore. I am able to fend off the dreams a little better. More so, I am able to ignore the dreams much better. The days following my time at home I was unable to ignore them. My screaming woke my family, and I started to fear that I was losing my mind. I would see things that weren't there, and I would freak-out for no reason.

"Edward--it's just a dream. Please, honey wake up."

I can hear my adoptive mother beg me. Esme Cullen was a better mother to me than my real mom. Her sister, Elizabeth Masen was a drug addict, and eventually just left me on Esme and Carlisle's doorstep. I can't say that I regret her decision. If it wasn't for that, then I never would have known Esme, Carlisle, or my two adoptive siblings, Alice and Emmett.

I forced my eyes open, and forced a smile for Esme. I could see the worry lines forming above her eyes. It hurts me to see her aging so fast because of her worry for me and Emmett. Both of us are active members of the US Army. We're luckily in the same platoon, so we spend most of our downtime together. Which also means, we're both home for break. We're getting deployed in less than a month. My number one goal in that time is to find someone to spend my life with. It's all I really want from life. It's what the Army has taught me that I want.

"Baby, you worry me when you scream like that."

"I know mom. I'm sorry. It's just bad dreams."

"They must be worse than just bad dreams. You wouldn't holler like that for just a bad dream. Even Emmett is worried about you."

"I know mom. I know."

I wouldn't promise her I'd stop, or that it was all alright. Because frankly it wasn't. Emmett hadn't been in my group when I watched half of our platoon get blown up or shot to death. He didn't witness the scary amount of death that I had. He didn't share my fears of dying with me. He didn't share my fear of returning to the Middle East.

"Yo, bro. You're screwed up."

"Thanks Emmett."

I grabbed a bit of bacon with some scrabbled eggs and toast. I don't eat much these days. Just enough to keep me alive. It's a process you get into when your stuck out in a war zone. You eat when you can, and only when you can. So I eat enough to get me by and only that much.

"Charlie Swan stopped by. You remember him right?"

"Yeah, he's the Sheriff right?"

"Was. He retired from the job. Opened a restaurant just in town. He's got a job opening. You was looking for something to do until your deployment right?"

"Yeah, of course.--" I paused as I shoveled the rest of the food down my throat, and tossed down my orange juice. "Headed there now. Thanks dad."

"Yeah, no problem. Just one thing. His daughter works there too, he's real protective of her--"

"Yeah, yeah. I hear you."

I grabbed my jacket, and scowled at the drizzling rain. It was always cold out, never warmer than sixty degrees. Even in the summertime. Pulling my arms through, I mumbled my goodbyes and headed out into the misty rain.

"Iz! Order up!"

"For the last time James, it's Bella. You call me Iz one more time--"

"Stop threading the help. We've gone through three cooks this week."

"I can't help it dad. They can't get my name right."

This is my first time on an extended stay with my father. My mom is having a hard time right now, and I thought I'd help her out by coming out here to stay with my dad. I personally hate Forks. It is like my own personal hell on Earth, but I love my mom that much. I promised Charlie that I would help him out in his new restaurant, since this was my Senior year in high school. The bell ringing above the door catches my attention, and I look toward the offending noise. I stop dead in my tracks. The man, I can't say boy, no this is a man, is stomping the snow from his boots. His hair, a light bronze color, is short, almost in a crew cut, and as he slips his jacket off, I can see his finely toned muscles. I have to stop myself from drooling, as his eyes catch mine.

"Excuse me, maybe you can help me. I'm here to see Charlie Swan."

"Oh, that's my dad. I'll go get him. What's your name?"

"Edward Masen Cullen, and yours?"

His hand is outreached toward me, and I find that the hot young man is also a gentleman.

"Isabella Swan--but you can call me Bella."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Bella."

"Nice to meet you too--Edward."

"Can you get your father now--please?"

"Oh--of course. Sorry."

If I didn't feel like a moron before I definitely felt like one now. I blushed deeply, before backing away from the handsome stranger. I wanted to run in the opposite direction, but instead I turned and tried my hand at sauntering--it did not go well considering I nearly fell on my face. So I just took what was left of my dignity and disappeared into the kitchen area.

"Oh--hello--Bella."

"Hi James."

My cheeks were still blazing red, and I tried to bury my head into my hands.

"You fall down again?"

I really hated James right now. He's only worked here for a little over two weeks and yet he seemed to know me and my father so well. Then again, this is Forks, and everyone knows everyone.

"No--I just committed social suicide is all." I bit back at him.

"I am growing mighty tired of your crazy little mood swings."

"I'm not crazy James. So fuck you."

"Oh, that is the last straw."

James stormed out of the kitchen, if he could steam would be pouring out of his ears. I slid down the wall and let the tears fall from my eyes.

Sitting at the counter awaiting the beautiful Bella Swans return. While I was excited for a chance to work, to keep my mind off my deployment, I just really wanted to get to know Bella Swan. Her beauty forever burned into my mind. Her long beautiful chestnut hair, and big chocolate eyes. Her luscious, most kissable red lips. Her pale complexion, long slender yet shapely body. I tried to keep the smile from my face as I remembered her.

"Edward?"

Her most wonderful voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up at her. She looked almost sad, and her cheeks were still slightly flushed from her near fall. In which I had jumped forward to right her, but she had already righted herself.

"Yes."

"Please follow me."

I noticed the look on her face as one of complete and utter sadness. Something horrible has happened to this young woman, and I just had to know what it was. I just had to know how I could fix it--fix her.

"Yes."

That was all I could say. So I stood up, straightened my clothes and followed Bella to the back, as memories of my own viewings of horrible memories flowed through my mind. I too, wanted to just cry. So much death, so many dead people, so many dead friends.

"Ah! Edward. Your father is a friend of mine. I can honestly say that I am so very grateful for what you and your brother are doing for our country. How long you home for?"

"We deploy again in about three and a half weeks. Any chance the war will be over by then?"

"I doubt it son. I guess you've seen some pretty bad stuff."

"More than I'd ever want to see in my entire life."

"How old are you son?"

"Nineteen sir."

"How long you been in for?"

"Almost a year. Emmett was in for a whole year before I joined."

"How lucky that you two boys are in the same platoon."

"Yes sir."

I could still feel Bella's presence behind me. In fact I could feel her eyes on me. I wanted to look at her. I wanted to tell her how horrible it was over there, but I didn't want her to have my nightmares.

"Well, because of my lovely, and so cooperative daughter, we have a cook spot open. You up for it?"

"Yes sir."

"Please, call me Charlie."

"Yes Charlie."

"Well, here's your apron. You start now."

I smiled at Charlie Swan, before turning toward the door, the smile still plastered on my lips. My eyes gazing into Bella's. I could fall for this girl. I could love her forever if this was a different time. Unfortunately it's not, lets just hope that she'll still be free when I get back. I thank god everyday, that I only signed up for a two year commitment. This would be my last deployment, then I'd be free to do whatever I wanted. Right now what I wanted was to be with Bella Swan. I would do whatever I needed so that I could be with her forever.