I still want you back.

I am clinging to my sheets, begging for the sweet release of your skin pressed against mine. I want to waste my time on you, hiding in the dark; bare and broken.

I roll over onto my back the silky white fabric caught between my thighs, remembering how you felt buried inside of me. The way you'd wrap your arms around my body and breathe deeply into my ear until we both collapse in sweat and tears.

What we had was lucky, what we had was real. Well.. at least it was real enough for people who can't feel. But... I'm on a road this time. It's leading me nowhere; my luck isn't changing.

I guess you could call this goodbye, or a hello. I'm putting these words down so I can pull these feelings out of the heavy air they hang it. I'm putting a stop to steaming lust between us, I will not feel things I am not allowed to, not able to, I just can't do this.

You're always gone, and I'm always here, waiting for you to call. I am that text at 2 am when you need a shoulder to lean on. I am that girl that begs you to take the knife off those pale wrists. I am the one that pets your crimson red hair while you cry into my chest. I am that person that wraps themselves around you when you moan through half lidded eyes in ecstasy.

But now you're gone. Just like the shells on the oceans reach, you've been swept away with all the miles between us.

Down this road I walk you are at the end, but will you come to see me? Are you going to spend one final night with me? Wrap those strong scarred arms around my dainty waist? Will you whisper drunken words to my memories?

I'd rather lay down on the ground, wrapped in those sheets and await for you to roll over and wrap around me, keeping me safe from monsters and dark things until exhausted you close your eye lids.

As I walk away from that place I'll miss that look on your face when you nuzzled me close and told me I smelled nice, that my skin was soft, and I was the most beautiful thing you laid your eyes on. But something was off in your kiss goodbye, when we said goodbye on that street corner in the shadows cast by the late evening sky. You pulled away and ran your fingers down my neck to my chest and I whispered Bye-bye. But you just turned away and I was on my way.

You just had to look me in the eyes when I turned back to look at you and I would've fallen apart, this little shell I kept up would've broken at the seams.

The girl folded up the letter quietly and walked out of the lavender room and through the hall ways down to where her almost lover lay. The noises emitting from the room could be heard from around the corner. The girl bit her lip and pushed her blonde hair behind her ears. This was the one night she could see him again, and she wouldn't lose it to anyone.

The closer she got the more she could smell the sex leaking out of the room. Heels clicked to a stop when she turned and faced the door. "I could stay away forever if I tried."

She told herself this as she wrapped her fingers around the doorknob. Slowly turning it with a deep breath she pushed it open.

Screams of anger and embarrassment yelped out. "It's called knocking!" "What are you doing?" "Who is she?" "What are you here!"

Tears welled up in those baby blues as she stared at the white silky sheets wrapped around a mystery girls body and around his hips as he tried to approach her. Shaking and stuttering the little blond girl stood with trembling lips trying to speak. "E-even if I sh-sh-shouldn't be here..."

The man simply stared at her; his green eyes narrowed down at here. "I c-c-can't he-lp-lp myself."

Just like a child he turned her around a scouted her out the room. With a click the door closed with the man on the same side as our protagonist. "Somethings gotten out of a dream I was having."

He whispered to her as he pulled her closer to his half exposed body, long fingers wrapped around the back of her neck. The eyes met, and the lips crashed, the sweet taste of alcohol met her tongue and she savored him as he picked her up and pressed her against the wall, cramming his hips between her small thighs. He told her things she already knew and coaxed his way into her little white panties, he pressed into places only he had ever been allowed near in that little girl world. Sloppy kisses and knotted hair was all the two knew. The girl still clung to the letter as he made her feel like a woman again in her life.

When he had finally let her slump down to the pearly white floor, he gave her a final kiss, and spoke; "If I'd found the right words for this-"

But she had already pushed the letter into his chest and sang as she walked away back to her room like the road she had finished traveling on. "I'm never gonna fall in love again."

And with that she flipped him off and strutted her way down that empty hallway.