Life at Buckingham House wasn't nearly as easy as Victoria was hoping it would be, not to mention the fact that Conroy was still hanging around, pressing her mother and giving advice even though it was never requested.
It was getting so frustrating: all eyes watching her every move, everybody always analyzing her decisions. God forgive her, she spent a lot of time wondering how much better her life could be if that burden, which was her family, hadn't been completely on her shoulders. Also, wouldn't her life be easier without that crown? She couldn't answer, Victoria simply loved the power it gave her, it was the only way to have people actually listening to her and respecting her.

To be honest, this wasn't completely true, she had to admit to herself. Lord M was interested in what she had to say, her opinions were always the thing that mattered the most. She was pretty sure she was falling in love with him, slowly and deeply and painfully. Not a day went by without hearing someone whispering about it.
Could love be wrong? This was another queston she couldn't answer. Scandal was waiting for Victoria right behind the corner, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to face it.

"Her Majesty, the Prime Minister is here."
"Oh, let him in please."
Lord M was entering the room, shiny eyes and bright smile. It was impossible not to love him.
"Victoria... Her Majesty... God knows how impatient I was. I had to see you. I was craving you."
"Lord M, please, anyone could hear us here." She gently shushed him with a soft kiss on his lips, blushing as a schoolgirl.
"You're right. I was hoping that maybe Her Royal Highness would like to go for a walk?"
Victoria took her gloves.

There wasn't anyone else in the whole Palace she'd feel comfortable with, without having to say a word, and it felt nice. The gardens were so quiet and stunning it was almost heartbreaking. The air was satured with the sweet perfume of flowers, a couple of bees were lazily flying around, it was like watching a painting: frozen in time, a perfect moment that no one could ever ruin. Her hand was lightly pulling at his sleeve, not really sure how to behave. Oh, how inappropriate it was for the two of them to be there without anyone else around, and how liberating.

"Lord M, you surely know that everyone wants me to get married. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with an idiot. My respect for you has kept on growing during these past months, and the only advice I need, is yours. Please, make a happy woman out of me, beacuse there isn't anyone else I'd spend my life with."
Shaking hands and watering eyes, Victoria was hoping like she had never done before.
"I love you, Victoria. I love you so much it's hurting me. But I can't marry you. I've been married before. You need a young man, someone special who will be able to put up with you and give you a bunch of lovely children and reign with you. Someone who will grow old with you. I'm already rotten."
A laugh came out of his mouth, but it was cold and forced, like it was the only way to shut his own mouth before saying something too dangerous.

Victoria was eighteen the time she first gave herself. Flowers were all around her, and her heart was full and broken at the same time. She wasn't married. Not that she'd care.
If someone had told her that it could be so overwhelming, she just would have disbelieved it, but right now, with Lord M kissing her neck and sighing and whispering in her ear that he loved her, there was no way to rationalize her feelings.
Her quiet moans started filling the room, while tears were streaming down her face.

"We found her, Sir Conroy!"
The guards ran there before ant of them could do anything.
"She's been violated!"

And then came the shot.

The rest of that day is blurry. Victoria was screaming, Conroy said something about 'making her understand who detained the power', he then went away and left her there with the only man she ever loved, fingers still intertwined. Lord M tried to tell her that everything would be fine if she went home, his voice lighter and lighter as seconds went by. How many hours she spent there, hopelessely hugging and caressing his dead body, I can't say.

She spent two weeks in her bedroom, saying that she didn't feel well, until one morning Lesel came in and saw her. Hung upon the canopy of her own bed.

Victoria was eighteen the time she gave her heart and soul for the man she loved.

Hi guys!
I'm back as awfully as always.
Please have mercy and remember that English is not my first language and that's why this story is so poorly written.
Hope you like it.
Love y'all,
-Amortentia.