Brienne's heart was racing and her mind was spinning. Ser Jaime had just arrived at Winterfell. When asked why he came in spite of his queen's wishes to the contrary he replied, "I made a promise and I intend to keep it" The dragon queen was going to execute him Brienne was sure, so she couldn't help but speak up for him. She shocked herself but her love for him overcame her shyness. She had to do something. Thankfully Lady Sansa believed her and Ser Jaime was released. After she said her piece she rushed away flustered. She could no longer hold in her emotions and did not want everyone to see her cry. She did not notice Jaime watching her exit in this way and looking worried.
She ran to her quarters, sat down and cried. She couldn't take it anymore. He came to Winterfell against his queen's wishes…. does this mean he had left her in other ways too? And why? She was suddenly very scared. She was prepared for everything but not this. She was comfortable bickering with him, each supporting the respective sides they fought for, safe in the knowledge nothing would ever happen between them. But now…him leaving Cersei…this changed everything. They were on the same side now, both fighting the same enemy…she could no longer hide behind this most convenient of barriers. He was free, and she was now suddenly "available" for him. Oh it was too frightening a thought. All her life she did not want anything to do with boys or men. She hid behind her armour where it was safe. Safe from ridicule, mockery and rejection. She looked up in the mirror. She tried to make herself look pretty by undoing some of the lacing on her doublet, she rearranged her hair in a different way so it fell into her face, but nothing worked. It was no use. She was ugly Brienne and that was that. Who was she kidding? Who would want her? Certainly not Jaime Lannister the handsome golden lion.
Pod enters and interrupts her in her self-pity.
"My lady – Ser Jaime really wants to see you."
"Pod I can't face him right now. I can't do this anymore."
"But I thought you would be happy – now that he's left Queen Cersei and is fighting on the same side as us?"
"But that is exactly the problem Pod. I don't want to get hurt, do you understand? Who would want big ugly Brienne - Brienne the Beauty. I don't even have any decent clothes that I can wear to make myself more presentable" she sobs.
"I can ask Lady Sansa to see if you can borrow one of her dresses? She is tall." Pod helpfully suggested.
"Pod – I know you mean well, but her dresses would barely cover my knees – I would look ridiculous! I might just as well wear nothing." She caught a glimpse of herself in mirror again…and then an idea – a crazy idea – popped into her head. She drew a deep breath…wiped away the tears…and calmed herself. "Tell him he can come and see me tonight after supper."
A few hours later, Jaime paces up and down outside Brienne's door. He almost knocks on the door but then catches himself last second. "Look you idiot it's only a girl. It's only a girl with a sword. It's only a big girl with a big sword" he scolds himself for being a coward.
"It's only a big girl with a big sword who is better than you!" Bronn, apparently appearing out of nowhere, interjects.
"You're not helping!"
"Alright I'll help." Bronn knocks on the door for him. Jaime panics. Bronn walks off and mutters "Don't thank me!"
Brienne opens the door wearing her cloak.
"Lady Brienne! It's good to see you." he exclaims loudly, trying to hide his nerves. Then he notices the cloak, disappointed and slightly puzzled. "Are we going somewhere?!"
"Just come in" she takes his arm and pulls him quickly through the door, shooing Pod away who was loitering outside.
"Just go sit down over there!" – points to the bed – and shuts the door.
Jaime bounces on the bed. "It's a bit like the old times this – you ordering me about. Except the surroundings are much nicer and far more comfortable."
"Just shut up before I change my mind again."
She takes a deep breath. And lets her cloak drop to the floor. What Jaime sees before him is a stark-naked Brienne of Tarth, wearing nothing but Oathkeeper slung around her waist.
"I couldn't find anything to wear that you would find aesthetically pleasing or would make me more attractive to you."
Jaime just looks at her, mouth agape, completely stunned.
"Anything? Don't leave me hanging here like this. Please say something." she pleads.
"I…I'm trying to figure out if this is a dream or not."
"Are you saying you dream about me Ser Jaime?"
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't."
"Well do you like it?" she asks nervously.
"I…I love it! Love the sword – nice touch" Jaime comments, still completely awestruck.
"Yes, I thought you might like that."
"I'm sorry but can you just slap me just to make sure this isn't another one of my dreams?"
Brienne happily obliges. She gives him a hard slap across the cheek.
"Ow!" Jaime looks rather shocked and strokes his red cheek "Seven Hells Brienne! That really hurt! I might change my mind now!"
"About what?"
"About why I came here tonight."
"Which is?"
"Well. Just hear me out – this isn't easy for me - I've been a sworn knight for most of my life, so I don't really know about these things. In fact, I joined the Kingsguard precisely so I didn't have to do these things."
Brienne moves closer to him on the bed and gives him her full attention, listening intently. Her heart was racing.
"I'm sorry…I was expecting you to be fully clothed when I did this…so this is a little distracting."
"I honestly didn't know what to wear!" She laughs.
"I had no idea you felt this way about me…why did you never…you know...give me a sign that you liked me – in that way."
"Are you seriously asking me that? Really?! After all the things you've said to me." She felt a sudden anger rise inside of her. Her stance becomes more aggressive and she puts one leg up, hand on hip. "Shall I refresh your memory? Upon first seeing me you said – 'Is that a woman?' Followed by 'Where did you find this beast?' The next day 'You're much uglier in daylight.' Hmm what else…'Has anyone ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?' And oh yes – a particular favourite of mine – 'Giant toe-headed plank.' And to top it all 'Maybe you're a Lannister too – you've got the hair for it - but not the looks!'"
"Yeah I know, I know. You know I didn't truly mean those things. I wish I could take them all back. I'm sorry for ever hurting you. It was a defence mechanism. I was confused and afraid. I didn't want to admit to myself that you meant anything to me because I was scared of rejection. But actions speak louder than words don't you think? I lost my hand for you – my sword hand – that hand defined me – it WAS me, I lost my hand to preserve…this -" he pointed to the place between her legs "I turned around for you when nothing I wanted more was to get back home after having spent nearly 2 years of my life in captivity. I gave you my sword and had armour custom-made for you. Do you really think I would do all these things for someone who meant nothing to me?"
"If you really felt that way then why did you never say anything? What kept you from me?"
"Is this a jape? Me - the kingslayer - with the paragon of virtue?!" he scoffs "Who would want me - a knight with no sword hand, a cripple? I'm a walking joke. A man without honour, an oathbreaker, a kingslayer who fucks his sister? I'm the worst person that's ever lived. I've done things…things you don't even know about that would make you turn your face away from me with disgust. I gave you those gifts because that is all I could give you. I could never give you myself as doing that would defile you. I knew I would never ever be able to even come close to your impossibly high moral standards, no matter how hard I tried. You are too good for me and deep down you know that that's true."
"Shh" she put a finger on his mouth "Hush dear. I understand now." A tear running down her face "All this time, you have been with the worst – truly – the worst person in the world because you thought you were worthless, and you thought nobody else would want you, that you deserved no better because you weren't good enough. But you ARE good enough, you are! You're good enough for me – and that's what matters. You saved my life by risking your own more than once and you have always behaved honourably towards me. There is no one on this earth I trust more than you. Because deep down you ARE a true knight, the bravest of them all in fact, and a man of honour, fearless in battle and loyal to the bone. I have seen inside your soul – just glimpses of it I admit – but what I have seen is good and true."
She kisses him. They embrace and kiss passionately until Jaime pulls away.
"What?"
"Let's just slow down for a moment."
"What is it? What's wrong?" Brienne panicked. "I knew it you wouldn't want me! You think me ugly. You find me repulsive!" Her worst fears had been realised.
"No, no, NO! That is not true, far from it. Just hear me out. Trust me I…I fantasised about this moment at least a thousand times. I had seen your perfect body before but…not all of it – he glances to her nether regions – some of it I could only dream about. Many times, I imagined what it looked like, what it smelt like, what it tasted like – "
She grabs his left hand and guides it to the hot and moist place between her legs "What it feels like?" His fingers touch her wetness.
"Lady Brienne! Oh you are BAD! You are making this hard for me!"
"I can see that!" she glances at his bulging breeches and smirks.
"'Anyway, I'm no lady!"
"Oh but you are! You are MY lady whether you like it or not. I'm a Lord now by the way and a Lord needs a Lady…"
"Is this the proposal part?" She was shocked at her boldness. It just slipped out.
"Yes…I guess. What I meant to say – earlier, before we started arguing – was, you are the only pure thing in my life and by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't wish to defile you and bring dishonour upon you and your house. I've fathered too many bastards already I don't intend to father any more. I'm done with all that. This is the effect you are having on me. You make me want to be a better person. I want to do this right – this one thing - for you and for me. Just for once in my life I want to do something right."
"Oh but I don't want to wait. I want you now!"
"We can marry in the morning!"
"You know very well we could die tomorrow and I don't want to die a maiden."
"Fine we will do it tonight but we will find a sept first thing tomorrow promise?"
"We're in the North there are no septs here."
"You're right…goddammit I hate the North! But fine we'll go to the heart tree – the old gods or the new – I'm easy when it comes to that stuff."
She giggles.
"We'll do it when the fighting's done."
"The fighting's never done!" he was right there she couldn't argue with that.
"Fine, when the war against the dead is over we will get married."
"Swear it!"
"I swear"
"Good. I know you keep your oaths."
"And you swear to me you will take me tonight?"
"Oh I don't need to swear an oath to do that! Come here you stubborn wench!"
He grabs her and they kiss passionately. She takes off his shirt and marvels at his god-like body. She wanted to kiss every scar and every bruise. The sword pokes Jaime while he tries to lay her down.
"Oh I suppose I better take this off now?" Brienne tried taking the holster off.
"Oh Gods no leave it on! Definitely leave it on!"
He lays her down on the soft furs on the bed and starts kissing and caressing her all over. His touch was so gentle it felt like little flitters all over her body. It felt like hundreds of butterflies suddenly fluttering in her stomach. He eventually worked his way down to between her legs…she hoped what he saw, smelt and tasted was to his liking. She had tasted herself in the past when she played with herself during those lonely nights, so she knew the smell and taste of her cunt, which was, as she thought, pleasant enough. However, she did not know what she - or any other woman for that matter – looked like down there. He sensed her tensing up and reassured her "Relax my sweet" Then she felt a quick flicker of his tongue on her lower lips which took her by surprise. She felt his fingers exploring her cunt, going deeper than she ever had before and finding a spot there which gave her sensations entirely new to her. She could not help but let out a sigh of pleasure. He rubbed the spot hard, increasing pressure and speed with time. She tried to resist it and stay in control but her body started taking over - she started to writhe under his touch and her legs felt like jelly. She completely let go and finally gave herself over to him, to pleasure, something she was not used to doing. Her moans and groans grew louder now, more guttural. While he was doing this with his skilled hand he licked and sucked on her bud which was throbbing and growing from the attention. She felt like she was flying now and thanked the gods her lover was such an experienced one, not a green and clumsy boy who didn't know what he was doing. The waves of pleasure came more frequently now, and her breath grew shallow. Then – in a moment where her whole body spasmed – she felt like she was pierced by a thousand stars and let out a roar. She didn't care who could hear. She knew they weren't the only ones making love in the castle tonight. The impending doom had brought them all closer together, and nobody wanted to waste what could be their last night on this earth. She was shaking. Jaime finally emerged from between her legs. She pulled him close and they kissed passionately. She could taste her own juices on his tongue and mouth.
"That was like…magic! How did you do this?"
"I just wanted to make sure you get your pleasure before me. And for you to be completely ready for my cock. Do you still want me to do this?" he asked caringly.
"Oh yes" She purred, still trying to catch her breath. She could think of nothing else now. She had had a taste and wanted more. "I long to feel you inside of me." She helped him out of his breeches.
"Your wish is my command my lady"
Brienne tensed a little as she knew this was supposed to hurt. He entered her, ever so gently. There was indeed a flicker of pain and she winced.
"Are you alright my love? We can stop if it hurts too much." He was so caring, Brienne's heart nearly melted.
"Jaime, I am truly touched by your concern for me but please don't be ridiculous – I have a higher pain threshold than you!"
"Oh really?" He just showed her his stump and pointed: "Hand!"
"Fair enough. Please proceed."
Jaime gave another gentle and careful push. And then after a short while another, slightly deeper and more forceful.
"Are you alright my lady? Is this good for you? Shall I slow down, go faster or would you like me to maintain the same speed?"
Brienne burst out laughing. "Jaime, you are a nervous talker!"
"I'm sorry I just want it to be right for you and I don't want this to be a disappointment. I'll shut up now!"
"Oh Jaime you could never disappoint me! Just fuck me now please." She could not wait any longer.
He gladly obliged her command. She winced again in pain as he finally pushed past the delicate barrier, but the pain quickly subsided giving way to pleasures the scale of which she had never known. It was a whole new sensation. His thick girth filled her and she loved it. There was just the right amount of friction between her cunt and his cock. It was almost painful but not quite. He moaned "I love you Brienne" over and over with each thrust. She started to meet his thrusts with her own, digging her fingers into his muscular back and wrapped her long legs tightly around his waist, drawing him as close to her as possible, and allowing him to go even deeper. Finally, after so many years apart, they were one now. She felt complete.
Both moaned and grunted loudly in ecstasy. Jaime's words were muffled now as he moaned sweet nothings into her neck. He was pumping faster and harder now, more animalistic, so she was wondering if he was nearing his peak. Then suddenly somehow the angle changed, and he started hitting that same spot again which he caressed with his fingers earlier, which made her legs go to jelly. It was intense. She was close to coming for a second time. He spasmed and let out a scream that was surely heard throughout all of Winterfell. Exhausted, he collapsed on top of her.
"I'm really, really sorry this was so short. Forgive me." he panted "I normally last a lot longer I swear! My cock was just so excited to be inside you finally!"
He noticed a tear running down her cheek. "Oh, please tell me it wasn't that bad! I don't mean to make you cry!"
"I'm just so happy." She smiled and kissed him. They snuggled together and silently watched the fire. She was exhausted and felt a little messy. And yet she was the happiest she ever felt her whole life. She counted her lucky stars and thanked her younger self for waiting until the right man came along to take her maidenhood. The one she loved and trusted the most. Even though she was tired, she wanted to do it again. She did not want to waste any more time as time was something they didn't have. After a few more silent moments of watching the fire she plucked up the courage to ask: "Jaime – can we do it again do you think?"
Jaime looked surprised. "Sure, just give me a few more moments respite please. You've worn me out!" he said, still trying to catch his breath. She wanted to repay him for him pleasuring her earlier with his mouth…she knew a few tricks herself…and started kissing him all over, gradually working her way down to his cock. This took him by surprise and he let out a moan of pleasure. "Oh Gods Brienne!" He was growing hard again due to the attention she was giving him with her mouth and tongue. He was getting close again, he pulled her off him and rolled on top of her, moving her thigh out of the way with his good hand and entering her and fucking her hard and fast this time. Once he felt her cunt spasm around his cock he allowed himself to come inside her.
Jaime kissed Brienne's hair as she lies in his arms. He was content. Contentment was something he had not known for so long that the feeling was almost alien to him. But something had been nagging away at him and he just had to ask.
"Brienne"
"hmm?" sighed his beloved, who had almost dozed off already.
"You know that thing you did earlier, with your mouth on my…"
"Uh huh"
"Well…seeing as you were a virgin…how did you…how did you know what to…who taught you?"
She sat up and frowned.
"Oh. Oh that…." She laughed. "I can see why you're confused now."
He looked at her puzzled.
"Well - who did I serve before Lady Catelyn? Hmm?! Can you remember who it was? I definitely told you - I remember the conversation like it was yesterday."
It took Jaime a while to figure out. "Oh!" his face fell, and he cringed. "Oh, I see…yes I can imagine that type of thing must have been difficult to avoid."
He really, really wished he hadn't asked now and cursed himself for being such a nosey git sometimes. He kissed her good night, squeezed her tightly in his arms and wished the night would never end.