I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of looking at everyone around me and feeling like I am worthless and not worth anyone's time. Here I am in a new town, at a new school, and I am completely and utterly alone. My friends are all back home, except for one who moved on to Wilmington, six hours away from me. My mom promised me that when I went to college things would be different, that I would have so much fun and I wouldn't even miss everyone back home, but she clearly lied because I am miserable.
Today is just like every other day that I have spent here so far. It's dreary, it's rainy, and it's boring. Don't get me wrong, Appalachian State University is amazing, it's beautiful, and it has everything I have ever needed in a school, but I have no one to share this experience with. I'm sitting on the bus again, staring out of the large window at the scenery that keeps changing before me. I notice a triangle of raindrops that trickle down the pane that capture my attention. I was always fascinated by raindrops on a window as a little girl. I always felt the drops were racing one another to see who could get to the bottom first. Of course, the one's I always picked lost.
The bus stops at my apartment complex and it's time for me to walk up the unusually steep hill to my condo. I'm already tired from today's ballet classes so I don't even want to move another muscle. I figure, though, that if I just hurry up and get to my place, the faster I can shower, and the faster I can fall asleep and wait for another day to come. I finally get to the top of the mountain and am safely in my apartment when I hear it. The elephant herd from upstairs. You know, it's amazing to me that someone can walk so damn heavy at all hours of the day and night. Truly amazing. Thankfully the shower drowns out all noise and I am in peace as I let the hot water and steams loosen up my muscles. As I towel off my body I realize that the commotion has ceased and I silently thank the Lord.
"Finally." I whisper to myself as I sink into my mattress and bury myself in my sheets. My fan is on high, exactly how I like it. It feels so good to just be lying down and not be moving for once after all that hiking and dancing. I can feel myself falling into a deep sleep when I hear it again. It literally sounds like a stampede up there, but I am so tired that I honestly don't care, that is…until I hear the drumming.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" This is it. This is the last straw. I have put up with a whole month of this bullshit, playing the drums at all hours of the night and stomping around like no one lives beneath them! It's time to stop.
I march out of my bed, down the hall way, out the door, up the stairs, and down two doors to the apartment right above mine, which I bang on ferociously. Three loud bangs and no answer. I can hear the drums just banging incessantly and I wait until I hear a slight pause to bang again, much, much louder. Finally I hear the stomping coming towards the door and I step directly in line with the peep hole. I know I have to smile and pretend I'm a friendly neighbor right now so that they will open the door, otherwise they will ignore me. I hear a voice from the other side.
"Uh…can I help you?" I smile and wave, like a stupid slut.
"Yeah! I'm going door to door to get to know my neighbors! Could you open up please?" And just like that, I hear him unlock the door. As soon as the door is open I feel like I am hit in the gut. Icy, pale, blue eyes stare back at my light green ones. A chiseled face with a jaw line, which any model would kill for, smiles at me while I force my mouth close. Seriously? Who looks like that?
"Hello beautiful, what can I do for you?" His crystal blue orbs widened as he hinted towards a sexual innuendo of some sort. I coughed out a laugh and put my hands on my hips.
"Hmm, let me think…you could shut the fuckin' noise up, up here, for one. For two, don't call me beautiful, I can see right through your little comment. And three, if I hear one more God damn loud footstep or drum set being played at 12 o'clock in the morning, I'm going to come up here and cut off your favorite appendage. Got it?" Handsome's flirtatious grin faltered after my rage and I smiled in triumph because of it. I started to feel a little uncomfortable because his eyes inspected me from head to toe and back up again, but I held my ground. I never felt bad for boys because they never feel bad for us girls, so why should I feel bad for saying how I felt.
He leaned against the doorway with his arm and pushed himself forward a little to get in my face. I noticed that he never broke eye contact with me, so I held my gaze with his for effectiveness. "Oh yeah, I got it Pretty." I crossed my arms in satisfaction, turned away to head down the stairs, but not without casting him another death glare before descending. As I got to the bottom of the staircase I heard him slam his door shut. I wasn't a fool. I knew he was going to test my limits and see how much he could get away with because I specified a time. It was a rookie mistake saying not to do it at twelve in the morning. Especially since there is plenty of time during the day before then for him to make as much noise as he wants to…or so he thinks.
As I enter my apartment and shut the door behind me I can already hear him banging on his drums. I smirked at the challenge and go over to my phone. I used to hate the fact that every apartment basically had the same phone number because people would get mixed up all the time and dial one number wrong and end up talking to me. Right now though, it came in handy. As I heard the phone ringing I counted, one, two, three rings until I heard his superficial tone over the receiver.
"Room 208, how can I help you?" He sounded entirely way too peppy. Maybe he was expecting someone else. I picked up the phone and walked outside onto my balcony and looked up at his.
"You know, if you're going to play the drums, at least play something good. And by good I mean something that the human ear can actually listen to without bleeding." I heard him crash his drum sticks onto his drum set right before he walked out onto his balcony.
"Oh really. And you would know what good music sounds like little girl?" He leaned forward on one arm while the other held onto the phone. He looked like he just got slapped in the face.
"Oh and there's that condescending tone that lets me know that I have struck a nerve! Also the use of "little girl" to boost your ego as well. I would know good music 208, when I hear it but until then, please, please do continue banging on your drum set like a 2 year old that loves the idea of the sound but isn't quite there yet with the rhythm and beat. It's adorable, in a little kid way." And with that I hung up. I chuckled to myself and realized that 208 could hear me. I looked up and was met with the cruelest gaze I have ever received. I smiled, gave him thumbs up, mimicking someone who is trying to give encouragement, and walked back in my apartment.
Upon closing the door behind me, I heard the front door closing and being locked as well. My roommate Jessica walked in and gave me a quizzical look.
"What are you doing?" She sat her books down on the dining room table and looked up at the ceiling. "And why don't I hear bowling balls being dropped above me every five seconds?" She walked towards the couch still looking up at the ceiling as if expecting it to cave in.
"Well, I took care of it." Her eyes immediately flickered down to mine with confusion. "You…took care of it…" She stated, clearly not believing the words coming out of my mouth. "Yeah, I went up there and gave him a piece of my mind." Jessica's face broke into a smile. "That a girl! If you weren't going to do it, I sure as hell was haha." I placed the phone back on the counter and walked to my room. "Sorry Jess, would love to talk about it but I'm tired as hell. I'll see you later." Jessica raced in front of my bedroom door and blocked the way.
"WAIT! You have to tell me! Was he what we thought he looked like, was he fat and nerdy, with a bowling ball collection?" I crossed my arms and jutted out my hips in defiance but I couldn't help but laugh. "No, actually he was the exact opposite." Jessica's eyes bugged out and her mouth dropped in shock. "Jess, he looked like a fucking model, I almost choked when I went up there. I seriously wanted to bow down to him and beg for forgiveness!" We both started laughing hysterically as we entered my room and sat on my bed. "What did he look like? Blonde hair, blue eyes? Or Tall, dark, and handsome?" Her eyes got all devious when she said the last bit. "No, and yes. He was definitely tall and handsome, but he had these piercing, crazy light blue eyes, and he had pale skin like mine. It looked like porcelain but rough at the same time. If that makes any sense…and his smile, oh my god, that smile could bring a woman to her knees." Jessica feigned a swoon and bounced up and down like a giddy school girl. "What's his name? I bet it's something sexy like Derek, or Dakota, or Damon." I looked at her skeptically. "Why does every "sexy" name to you start with a D?" Jessica stood up while she tried to contain her laughter. "I don't know it just happens that way, every hot guy I have ever met, their name always started with a D, but hey! Prove me wrong!" And with that Jessica walked out closing the door behind her.
I fell asleep that night easily. I didn't hear the banging of neither drums nor the sound of feet stomping around for once since I had been there. I thought I had finally won against room 208 and its inhabitant, but little did I know he would invade my dreams. I only remembered bright blue eyes when I woke up, and that was enough to let me know that I was far from winning.