This is just a short little story on Finn and Puck.
Enjoy!
~ffic4life love 3
Title: Sometimes Finn...
Rating: PG
Character Pairing: Finn/Puck
Genre: Slash, Romance/Angst
Summary: Sometimes "Sorry" is the hardest word. Just ask Puck and Finn, considering their entire relationship seems to be built upon, "I'm sorry."
Warnings: None
"Mercy is not strained, and it does benefit those who give and those who take it."
-William Shakespeare
Sometimes Finn wonders what his life would be like if when he were seven, he hadn't met Puck.
Sometimes Finn is afraid of the answer to that question.
However, at eleven, when Puck accidentally let slip that Finn still watches basketball games with his dead father to all of their friends – and he got made fun of mercilessly – he screamed in the Jewish boy's face that he had been pretending since the first grade that he was Noah's friend, and really he thought the darker boy was completely useless and only felt sorry for him.
The outburst may have been false, but the pain in Noah's eyes had not. And the "I'm sorry," that immediately followed had not stopped the deep seeded regret in his heart, or the awkward left hook Puck threw his way that he knew he more than deserved. Nor did it eliminate the fact that the course of their whole friendship had changed after that. Because while Noah's slip had been entirely accidental, Finn had meant what he said in the moment it came out. And he had said it because he knew that above any insult, calling Noah "useless" was the one way to hurt him for sure.
Especially when he thought he trusted you.
So that night when he got home, he sat in his room and watched the movie that Noah had bought him for his birthday while trying his hardest not to cry.
But even at eleven, Finn knew there were something's you just couldn't really apologize for.
.
Sometimes Finn thinks about how different his life would be if he had never met Quinn Fabray at thirteen.
Sometimes Finn is angry because he knows it would be a lot better.
However, at sixteen, when he found out that the father of "their" baby wasn't actually him, he knew he should have seen it coming. Quinn wasn't the type that settled, and Puck wasn't the type that turned down sex.
(Even if the sex happened to be with the girlfriend of his best friend.)
And although he knew there was more to the story than what Rachel had told him, or Quinn had admitted to – he ignored the longing look on Puck's face because he felt as though he needed to suffer. Puck knew the consequences of his actions. Puck knew that above anything else, taking his girlfriend would shake his confidence, but he hadn't cared. So Finn didn't care as Puck spent several months trying to explain with countless "I'm sorry's." Nor did he care when he spent an entire night crying outside his window, begging Finn to listen to him.
Cause even he knew there were something's that tears just couldn't wash away.
.
Sometimes Finn asks himself why Puck would write that beautiful song, "Pretending," and then tell him to sing it as if he was the one who wrote it.
Sometimes Finn chooses to ignore the notion that it might be anything more than Puck just trying to be a good friend by giving him an opportunity to be with Rachel again.
However, at seventeen, when he's standing on the stage with lights flashing and crowds of people staring at him – it's impossible not to look at what's safe and what has always been safe is Puck. He was standing there, on the sidelines, cheering him on and praising him with his eyes filled with something Finn couldn't understand.
And maybe Finn was being deliberately obtuse; it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. He knew that Puck was trying to tell him something, trying to get a message across. It didn't matter that he wasn't entirely sure what that was. He still felt awful singing to a girl that he was expected to love. He still felt awful watching as Puck ducked his head when they reached the chorus. And the reason was because he felt awful knowing he and Rachel were never meant to have a happy ending, but there was someone very close that very well could give him that. Yet, he didn't have the ability to put himself that far out there, so he kissed girl in front of him.
And later, once they were all at the hotel and Santana had settled down, he said "I'm sorry" to Puck about their loss. And then pretended he didn't notice how Puck seemed distant and uncomfortable around him.
Because they both knew there were so many other things they should be discussing, like how the "Pretending," was in more than a song.
.
Sometimes Finn knows that Puck is watching him.
Sometimes Finn laughs when he realizes how much he likes it.
However, at eighteen, standing on a platform singing one final song to the kids of McKinley was never the way he envisioned their first kiss would happen.
Yet, sometimes, Finn realizes "I'm sorry," really isn't the appropriate word. Because sometimes "I love you," is so much better.
Thank for reading! Please review!