Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer so therefore I own nothing!!:P :(

A/N Hope You Enjoy!!I had soo much fun writing this as of now its a one shot but I might on other chapters like snow an paint ball...

I walked out of class with Connor and Angela. There leaning against the lockers was someone I had come more than friendly with. It still bewildered me how someone who could have been a God in an earlier life was wasting their time with plain old me.

"Hey," I breathed.

"Hello," He smiled crookedly, bending down for only a chaste kiss.

When he pulled away I felt my bottom lip jut out into a pout. Edward chuckled softly and nipped it slightly with his teeth. My eyes widened in shock and my heart did a summersault. Edward was always so cautious so this action was unexpected. Edward pulled away with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Tasty," He grinned.

I laughed shakily and hooked my hand in his. He laughed at the look of shock on my face. He gave my hand a small squeeze before we started walking towards the cafeteria. The hallway was swarming as usual with students all heading to the one place.

When we entered the small cafeteria Edward pulled us over to get our food. He picked up two trays he filled up mine with yogurts, sandwiches, pizza slices, salad, Mountain Dew and straws. His he had a sandwich, pasta and water. We walked over to our table where the Cullen 'teenagers' were situated and talking to each other quietly. Emmett's head snapped up while the others continued their conversation, which was spoken extremely fast.

"Hey, Bella. Edward," He greeted us as we sat down.

"Hi Emmett," I smiled genuinely at the vampire slash teddy bear.

"Emmett," Edward nodded his greeting.

Emmett looked hopefully at Edward who just shook his head while laughing.

"No way. I won last night and if we fought again tonight I'd still beat your in-experienced behind," He teased a sullen looking Emmett.

Edward then let out a menacing growl catching the attention of the rest of our table. It was only loud enough for our table to hear. More than likely it was brought on by something Emmett had thought or in Emmett's case usually pictured me in. I put a calming hand on Edward's rumbling chest. He calmed soon afterwards but his features and eyes were still livid.

"What did he...Umm...think?" I sighed already it would result on a fight between Rosalie and Emmett or Edward and Emmett.

"He called me a prude and pictured in inappropriate, promiscuous clothes," He hissed, glaring at his 'brother' murderously.

Rosalie slapped the back of her husband's hand softly as not to make much noise to attract attention, but the meaning was still there and he would be so getting a battering later. His triumphant smile faded quickly.

"It's probably the most skin he's seen in decades," He sighed.

I, who had been blushing a furious red from embarrassment and nibbling on my pizza slice started to fume. Before anyone could comprehend it there was a pizza slice sliding down Emmett's face leaving a tomato-y trail.

"Oops?" I whispered as I saw the mischievous glint in Emmett's eye as the pizza slid off his face and onto the ground.

He grabbed a meatball from his spaghetti bolognaise. It was about to connect with my forehead when a hand pushed my head down. Then I heard 'SPLAT'. The hand had fallen away and we all turned to see who Emmett's missile had struck. The person had a white sweater which now had a reddish mark just on the lower back. A hand reached around to touch the mark then he whipped his blond head around to glare at us. Mike Newton.

We all turned and ducked our heads. We were all laughing hysterically. Talk about inconspicuous. Then some idiot behind us roared two words I never what to hear ever again after that lunch time.

"FOOD FIGHT," The screaming and shouting after that small statement was deafening.

Something soft and creamy then was topples on my head. I looked up to see Edward smiling at me innocently. Too innocently. I then noticed my yogurt carton, which was now empty of its contents that were covering my hair.

"You...I...WAR," I roared standing up quickly. Everything happened then extremely fast. Our table was dived into pairs. Emmett and Alice, Rosalie and Edward and Jasper and I. We were all hiding behind our chair, which we were using for shields. Our table had been pushed to the side allowing room for our miniature war that I had proclaimed.

Rosalie and Edward were straight in front of our...'fort' and Emmett and Alice to our left. Ready for the war of the vampires and the klutzy human. I looked at Jasper excitedly. He just grinned back be though his posture still looked slightly frigid. Probably as we were so close. He pushed two trays that he had salvaged in between us. One had Emmett's spaghetti and the other sandwiches, nuts, salad, water and straws.

"Dig in,"

I grabbed a handful of spaghetti and threw it in Edward's direction just as Rosalie had lifted her head. It went 'SPLAT' on her head. A malicious smile graced her lips as she wiped off the spaghetti with a manicured hand.

"Eeek," I gulped loudly.

Jasper laughed before launching another handful of spaghetti at Emmett and Alice. Hitting Emmett in the left eye. I chuckled as I ran my hand through my sticky yogurt-y filled hair. I was suddenly thrown back onto my back. My forehead was throbbing. I turned my head to the side slightly to see a huge meatball. Rosalie. I groaned as I sat back up.

"Jasper," I asked cautiously.

"Yes," He answered ducking his head so the chair was covering him. I had never seen so much happiness contorting someone's features. It was one of utter...bliss?

"Hit me with some thoughtfulness," I said quietly. Jasper raised an eyebrow but other than that complied.

Ideas were flooding my thoughts. I picked up two straws and picked up two nuts and placed them in the end of the straws. I gave one to Jasper and gave him my plan extremely quiet as not to inform our enemies of my ingenious plan. I lifted my head to see the others who were all laughing uncontrollably. Their heads were all above the chairs, I lifted my straw to my lips as Jasper his and blew. Both salted peanuts found their targets on Emmett and Edward's foreheads.

"What the..." Their questioning was cut off by their coughing caused by the salted peanuts that were launched into their open mouths.

"Yippee Ki Aye, Bloodsuckas," I laughed quoting one of my favorite quotes in Die-hard only changing it slightly. With all the noise in cafeteria you would need to have been a vampire to hear my statement.

We repeated this process again except this time with Alice and Rosalie.

I was laughing hysterically at all the vampires minus my accomplish (Jasper) who gagging on a small article of food. When they had stopped I saw all eyes turn to me. My laughing instantaneously stopped.

"Aww shi..., " I was cut of by the amount of food pelting me from my side and straight ahead.

"Come on Bella I can't fend them off by myself," Jasper hissed. He offered his hand which I took gratefully took.

I took a quick breather before picking up a tomato from the salad and throwing it above the chair. It had only went a centimeter above the chair when it was pelted from the side and straight ahead and turned into tomato puree in midair.

I gulped loudly as did Jasper. I looked at him sadly. He gave a small nod picking up the remainder of the bolognaise and I the salad.

"I'll cover you," He murmured.

"It's been an honor;" I said my voice wavering.

After that it was all in slow motion.

I stood up alerting the others. Jasper was still crouched.

A meatball came hurdling at me but Jasper was ready and hit it away with another. I grabbed a fistful on tomatoes and started aiming them. All sorts of food was thrown at me but each time it was about to hit me Jasper would have smushed it with either a meatball or spaghetti rolled up into a secure ball.

My first shot hit Emmett in the chest. Emmett's mouth went to the side as he hit the floor.

"Nooooooo," Alice screamed at the loss of her teammate.

Next one missed Alice by an inch though the second came in contact with her heart. She fell to the ground falling on top of her (acting) dead teammate.

Edward and Rosalie were more difficult. Though not impossible. Rosalie kept dodging as Edward kept firing food at me. Before Jasper could make smithereens out of the doughnut Edward had thrown at me I caught it in my hand and flung it back at Rosalie. It hit her in between the eyes. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head before she fell back onto her head.

"Dammit," Edward cursed.

He took a bagel Alice had picked up for lunch and flung it at me. I dodged leaning back as I watched it zoom past me. Matrix style. I turned my head to see Jasper lying on the floor. Tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

"He was a fine comrade," I sighed sadly.

I looked across at Edward who was staring at me mischievously. He stood up as I was and ran over to me at human speed. Before I could react he forced me around and wrapped his arms around my waist. Usually I would be content but at this moment I was struggling with all my might to get away from my boyfriend. He lifted me slightly and walked over to the middle of the fight where all the humans were battling it out.

"No...Edward...please!" I begged.

As soon as I finished my speech I was destroyed with food. Yogurts mostly. Edward was using me as a shield. I opened my eyes which were closed due to the amount of yogurt all over my face. Edward turned me into his chest. He used his thumbs to wipe away the yogurt on my eyes. He swooped down for another chaste kiss.

"Impressive," He muttered.

"But I always win," He bent down to kiss me for much longer. When he pulled away we were both gasping for air. He looked at me lovingly before catching my hand.

"Now off to my lair, oh fair maiden," He said.

I gave a short laugh.

"Why," I asked raising an eyebrow.

"The principle is on his way. I really doubt he'll be happy to see this mess," He laughed.

"Ohh," I said.

He turned around and bent down. I hopped onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and feet his waist. We walked towards the open window where the other Cullen's were slipping out of noticeably.

"Where exactly is your...ahhh...'lair'?" I asked suddenly curious.

"Our lair," He whispered

"Uhhh," I was still clueless.

"Your meadow," The vampires all shouted at me. As we walked cross the road to get to the forest where they could run normally.

"Jeez. Maybe some of them blows lost me some IQ points," I muttered.

"Hey Bella," Jasper said as we got to the entrance.

"Yes?" I asked resting my chin on Edward's shoulder.

"You'd have made one hell of a commissioner," He said quietly as he took off.

"Aww. Thanks," I beamed after him.

When I was sure he was out of hearing range I hissed at Edward.

"What the hell is a commissioner?"

A/N Review!!Please??

spidermonkey45

xoxox