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Belong Together

Six months later, Oliver still called that tiny apartment home. The king-size bed was still his bed. He still slept on his side, and it felt big. Way too big. He'd throw all the pillows to Katie's side and pretend her warm, lithe body was resting happily over there. He spent half his free time in bed. It seemed to him that it was the only thing supporting him from an emotional freefall.

Six months later, he still avoided the living room. Every single bad memory that led to his depression was linked to the ugly red couch his mother had bought for the then happy couple.

They'd spent their last moments together on that couch. They'd been sitting long minutes in a deep silence before he spoke. They sat side by side, but they weren't hugging and kissing like they'd often do. Side by side, yes, but not touching or even looking at each other.

When he spoke, he did so with tears in his eyes and a broken voice.

"Why?"

That was all he could say. Why? And she seemed to understand, for she looked hurt. Her pain hit him, but it felt only right.

"You're barely here, Oliver," she whispered. "I guess... I guess I feel like I don't even have a boyfriend anymore."

Her words hit him too. Everything hit him at the time. Ever since he saw some guy fucking her in that very same sofa, the sole sight of Katie felt like a fully loaded kick to his privates.

"But I love you," was all he could mutter as a defence.

"I love you too Oliver. This just..." she sighed. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry. You're so fantastic. But I'm unhappy and confused and..." she broke into tears, and he hated himself. Why? He didn't even know just why she was crying. But her demeanor told him it was somehow his fault, so he felt guilty.

"Katie. I want to understand."

"Oliver, I can't survive on thin air. I need your touch, your support, all of you. But you're always too tired, too focused on something else. How long has it been? Do you even remember?" He felt a pang of guilt. No, he didn't. His calm seemed to infuriate her. "I mean, just look at yourself! I just cheated on you! Aren't you angry? Hurt? Jealous? Anything?"

He was, but he could swallow the pain. There was Katie, crying and telling him he'd caused her pain. He wanted to fix it more than he cared about fidelity. He didn't even feel like he deserved fidelity at that point.

"I want you to be happy, Katie. I can't figure out why I am not making you happy."

"You can't make me happy. No one can. I am unhappy, and I need to make myself happy before I can be in a relationship."

"Are you not happy with me?"

Her silence was all he needed to understand.

"What did I do wrong? I can make it right."

"You can't, Oliver. You can't. Everything that always mattered to you - well, I don't even get it. You fought with me during the War. We've been three years together. Priorities aren't with your girlfriend, your home, your friends, your family. It's always Quidditch."

Was she really bringing that into this argument? What was the point?

"You've known me since I was fourteen," he said. "It's always been like this with me. You knew what you were getting into."

He understood by the fire in her eyes that he'd said exactly the wrong thing. She spoke bitterly, heatedly.

"I hoped you'd change, Oliver. I really did. Maybe I was naive. Maybe my hopes were stupid and baseless. But I thought you could change. I thought you'd stop being the seventeen-year-old that cared only about a sport and had no other interesting aspect in his life. But that's not even the point. I never asked you to care less about your job, but to care more about me."

"But I care about you, Katie. You're the love of my life."

She rolled her eyes and smiled bitterly.

"Sure thing, Oliver. You didn't even know what a woman was before I came into your life. You had me on your team for three years and you only looked at me when I threw myself at you, many years later. How can I even be the love of your life?"

Her question took him by surprise, and he couldn't really answer. All he knew was that he felt every word he'd said. But she kept talking.

"No, Oliver. We both have separate lives... and lovers, actually. You love the present, I love the future. I want a home, Oliver. I want a marriage and I want children. It's clear that you don't want any of those. Why am I even here, Oliver? What do you want from me?"

Talking about the future always made him antsy, and those questions didn't help the situation. He didn't want children, or a big house, or to sign any papers that meant nothing to him if he already had her. But if it all mattered to her, if it meant she'd stay, he'd be willing to go through it all.

"Stay, Katie. I'll change," he begged, but it only led her to be even more exasperated.

"Oliver, I'm not threatening to leave so you'll change. I didn't... I didn't do it with him to..." she sighed. "Merlin, I'm so ashamed," she paused, her disgrace clear to him. "I guess I was desperate to feel something other than uncertainty. Now I see... I can't be with you, Oliver. I just can't. I've just disrespected you in the worst way possible and the fact that you sit there and take it makes me feel nothing but pity for you."

Why was she hurting him so? Those words stung more than anything he'd seen or heard from her before. Pity? Disrespect? Uncertainty?

"Katie..."

But she'd stood up, shaking wildly and countless tears streaming down her face. Her overall behavior was calm though, and he realized her resolve was calculated. Something was very wrong - it had been for a long time, he realized.

"I want out, Oliver," she told him at last. "I'm leaving."

That was it. One minute he walked in, wanting to tell her he'd been taken out of the reserve. The next minute he was kicking some naked guy's ass out of his home and silently begging for an explanation.

An explanation, he thought, not a break-up. It was so clear to him that they belonged together! She brought him life while he brought her calm. They were perfect harmony, and without her joy, his day seemed empty.

But there he was, six months later. She obviously thought they didn't belong together, for they were not. The hole in his chest that appeared when she walked out was still there. The void was absolutely unbearable. He wished she could understand: If Quidditch was all that mattered, then why was his life crumbling down? Making it to practices and matches wasn't a problem. By that point, it was second nature. Making it home was the real issue. Without her it wasn't even a home.

Without Katie he was just a Quidditch-obsessed guy who was doing nothing with his life, as she'd accused him of being. Maybe they didn't belong together, he thought. Maybe she didn't belong with him, he mentally added with a heavy heart. But he did belong with her. Her absence was harder and heavier every day. That was all he knew.

Yet, six months later, it seemed to him it was too late. Time had passed and slipped away, and he didn't know where it went. Considering it, he understood it was definitely too late.

Even so, he couldn't help but idly wonder why he hadn't tried to get her back.

Notes: This is a combination of two different competitions for the HPFC forums. It seems I can only get inspiration for these if I combine them.

-The Olympic Games - Athletics - Hurdles. I had to write something I don't write that often, word count between 1000 -2000. As I normally write bittersweet oneshots with happy endings, I decided to write full-on angst. Not a genre I explore often in fanfiction, but I read it a lot - in fact, the one angst fanfic on my profile is a piece I translated. Katie/Oliver is my OTP, but I've never written about them breaking up.

-Catharsis: Experience Emotion. I had to write an emotive piece, more or less. I got a line from a song to use as inspiration - "Now we both have separate lives and lovers. Insignificantly enough, we both have significant others." I also used the idea of catharsis/closure/emotional purging. As you can tell, both were loosely interpreted and used in a very abstract way.

I hope both sets of judges enjoy this, and everyone else reading as well! Please take your time to review.

Special thanks to ladyoftheknightley for being a wonderful beta, once again.

Thanks for your support!

-Karyn.